Walking (Sensible Shoes by Sharon Garlough Brown)

This is the second time I have read this book, and I thought I had already reviewed it. However, I did not, and that may be a good situation. The first time I read this book, I read it as a novel directly after reading a fabulously well-written story. Bad spot to be in. Even when one brings her 'A' moves, if the one that came before was an A+, it's difficult to be valued for what you at number two brought to the game. The irony is that I do not remember the title or story of the book I read before this one. I do remember Sensible Shoes which made it all the more annoying when a friend kept asking me if I had heard of, bought, read this book. I told her three different times over the course of six months that I had. I finally decided to pick the book back up and read it again.

I'm glad I did. This time I read the book for what it is: a well-written story about walking through the spiritual journey of four women. Although as this same friend above also keeps saying, "It's not just a woman's book." Indeed, the stories of trying to be perfect, trying to help everyone, trying to escape our pasts, trying to navigate the storms of life apply to male and female alike.

I knew the first time around that the book was filled with a great deal of wisdom (from which I gained insight and changes), but the second time around I was surprised by how my opinion changed about the literary quality. Brown writes well. What takes getting accustomed to is reading a book of wisdom directly addressing spiritual journeys written in the form of a novel. Once I stopped attempting to pin the book down to a specific category, I could relate -- haha, I started to write "relax" and autocorrect popped up with "relate" so, yes, I could not only relate to the book, learn from the book, but also enjoy the literary quality of the book.

On the spiritual side, Brown does a great job of diffusing common misunderstandings about Christian spiritual formation practices, mostly through Charissa, a young married woman who is working on her Ph.D. in English literature. Charissa is caught between wanting an A (make that A+) from her professor and partaking in some unorthodox (to her) practice where she can't just check off her good behaviors on a checklist.

I gained even more insight and transforming changes -- drawing even more deeply into relationship with God -- with this second read.

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Parents (of the four main characters) do not not come off too well in this book. I just now realized this.  That's a bit sad since this story development makes it seem as if parents totally mess up our lives and they're the reason we need transformation. Even the most wonderful parent in the world can not raise a child who never grows up needing to do some changing to grow! With that flaw in the story addressed, let's just say that one can learn what direction NOT to go from the parents in this book. (And, yes, sometimes our parents did cause issues just as we did or will cause in our children's lives. It would help our children tremendously if we could heal the hurts and avoid bending in the same direction as the parents in this novel or our own parents if that is the case.)

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As mentioned above, this novel involves spiritual practices, and there are many from which to choose which makes this a book worth buying. I'll come back to it time and again as I would never attempt everything at once. One practice I've looked at before in my life, but came back to again this time, was how I view God. How one views God will drive my entire reading of the Bible and every aspect where God is mentioned to me, discussed with me, etc. One practice that came to my mind two Mother's Days ago happened because I was reading 1 Corinthians 13. Yeah, that chapter. The chapter read so often at wedding ceremonies instructing the couple to live this chapter out. I realized God has this love! With that in mind, whenever I read the Old or New Testament; whenever I or someone else is discussing God, if the picture of God that comes out of that reading or that discussion does not fit 1 Corinthians 13, I explore what is going on in my head. Where is my picture of God coming from? 

Transitioning (We Never Asked for Wings by Vanessa Diffenbaugh)

Here's the argument I have been having with myself concerning this book: Is this simply a "beach read" or is it something more?

A "beach read" book can be read without thinking while basking in the sun, and the reader can count on a happy ending. Right now I have a particular friend in mind as I picture her squirming and my imagination hears her saying, "Don't do it. Don't you dig deep and make the ending anything but happy!"

Can I at least dig deep and tell you that you can still have your happy ending?

Here's something else about beach read books: they're predictable in that bad situations do not remain bad situations. The heroine Letty, who many Goodreads reviewers can't stand, has good people help her...and good people who have to admit that they are at least partly responsible for her dysfunctional life. In this novel, enormously stupid mistakes do not end in disaster, but then again, they don't end as though they never happened.

I was ready to label the book as a feel good book just because Letty and her son Alex are helped out of their messes. Then, I wondered at why I thought tragedy is more real than goodness. I know people like Letty. I want to help them out the way Letty's coworker, Rick, does and to be cautious about helping out the way that Letty's mom does (a mom with good intentions). I also know someone like Rick. She is a bartender; she knows how to cook; she has resources the way that Rick does. It would be easy to comment that wealthy people help Letty out, but then that means the reader has forgotten that poor people helped Letty out in the beginning of the novel. What if the goodness shown in this book is what reality truly can look like?

My friend, mentioned in paragraph two, can stop reading here so that we can stay friends. While I'm glad that the social issue of immigration is brought to our attention in this book, I have issues with a person with physical challenges being used to bring about growth in a main character. While Yesenia is more developed than characters like her used to be in novels; still...well, I can't say more without including some spoilers.

For those interested in the Enneagram, I find thinking about the Enneagram numbers of these characters intriguing. Letty's mom provides a good view of what helping (Enneagram #2) gone wrong looks like while Rick is a solid view of what good helping looks like. Alex tries to be a reformer, and just like an Enneagram #1 gone overboard, he makes a mess of things.

I chose "Transitioning" for the title of this review rather than "Grounding and Flying" or "Planting and Flying." Planting and Flying tying into the idea of the two characteristics our children need: roots and wings. Frankly, I'm not sure anyone has been given roots at the beginning of this novel. However,  transitions are plentiful in this novel. How we react to transitions directs our stories.
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So many lessons can be gleaned from this novel. The challenge is not to swing far over to one side or the other -- being neither a "helicopter" parent constantly hovering nor being a military general to avoid having a child like Luna! Finding out what drives our children and encouraging them while helping them avoid the pitfalls. Is he a reformer? Is she a helper? Is he a performer? Is she an artist? Is he a researcher? Etc. (And, of course, switch the pronouns as needed.)

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So many opportunities for social justice exist, I won't single out one. A good practice is to find what one is passionate about and get involved. It's also good to realize a person can not help out with everything. Be patient and loving with people who do not get on the same social justice train that you do. Let's support each other in the best way that we can, and know that it takes all of us to work on the parts that we can to fight against all the social injustice that occurs in the world today.

Keeping and Caring -- (Soul Keeping by John Ortberg)

The amount of days I spent reading this book neither indicates a massive size book nor an obtuse vocabulary. It is only 194 pages long, and the vocabulary is accessible (a well-used sentence in the book is "Huh?" in response to some weighty thought put forward by Dallas Willard).

In 2013 when Ortberg stepped in for Dallas, when Dallas's illness kept him from delivering the morning conference session, I heard Ortberg say, "I do Dallas for Dummies," not implying that we were dummies but referring to a set of books that turn scholarly topics into everyday language (Web Application Security for Dummies; Water Treatment for Dummies, etc.). 

So consider this a book on soul keeping in everyday language. It took me two and a half months to read because mostly I read this book in the evening right before I fell asleep. I'm not sure if that led to a disjointed feel to it or reading it while I was sleepy or the fact that I had been taught much of the material in the book. For someone who has never heard or read the teachings in this book, you are in for a life changing read as Ortberg writes so well of "What the Soul Is," "What the Soul Needs," and "The Soul Restored."

In the middle of the book, I might have given the book 3 out of 5 stars, even knowing how important the topic of the book is. However, by the time I reached "The Soul Needs Blessing" and "The Soul Needs Satisfaction," I revised that rating to 4 stars. This is the type of book I'm glad I own because I will keep coming back to it, knowing that I can get a refresher read in easily accessible language and thought.

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This section after the line of hearts is my "Regrets that I have which I hope will encourage both myself and the reader to choose differently, knowing that we all will have regrets, but still knowing that maybe we can learn from each other's regrets."

Dallas Willard was asked if he regretted anything. He replied, "I regret the time I have wasted." To which Ortberg responds: "Huh? If there is any human being on the planet who has not wasted time, it is Dallas. I don't think he'd know what a television was if one hit him on the head...But I think, maybe, this time I know what he means...The reason our souls hunger so is that the life we could be living so far exceeds our strangest dreams...I watched him and thought of what a redeemed soul can be:
* To be able to say yes or no without anxiety or duplicity
* To speak with confidence and honesty
* To be willing to disappoint anybody, yet ready to bless everybody
* To have a mind filled with more noble thoughts than could ever be spoken
* To share without thinking
* To see without judging
* To be so genuinely humble that each person I see would be an object of wonder
* To love God" (190-191).

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This section after the dotted line is my "spiritual formation practices" -- This book is filled with lots of great ideas to practice. I chose this one from page 166 as Ortberg quotes Dallas Willard:
"If you want to really experience the flow of love as never before, the next time you are in a competitive situation [around work or relationship or whose kids are the highest achieving or looks or whatever], pray that the others around you will be more outstanding, more praised, and more used of God than yourself. Really pull for them and rejoice in their success. If Christians were universally to do this for each other, the earth would soon be filled with the knowledge of the glory of God." 

Reading (The Little Paris Bookshop by Nina George)

I love Instagram pictures of books, particularly the ones on white bedspreads. I love them, but it's not my reality. This is how reading on my bed looks like:

And, heavens, I could never add a cup of coffee to this mix! I'd have coffee everywhere!

I have been tempted to not rate this book, but then folks would think it is worth no stars (and some people would think that it needs to go into the trash for reasons I will explain). However, I decided to take the middle of the road path with 3 stars. Those who love this book are shocked, I'm sure. And, my readers will say, "How could you give your friend's book 4 stars and this book only 3 stars?" Um, she's my friend. More than that, my giving this book 3 stars will not hurt its sales. It's a best seller in a number of countries so let me delve into the whys and wherefores of my rating for The Little Paris Bookshop.

During chapters 1-7, I was in love. Monsieur Perdu, the main character, prescribes books for what ails one. Swoon! Such eloquent language, a mystery, books, what's not to like? Then, I felt like I was in a peep show, mostly an amazingly written, sensual peep show, which is why some readers will go out and immediately get the book, and others will think the book needs to be burned. Few readers sit on the fence with such scenes in books. Here's my take on it: I prefer my authors to read the Old Testament "Song of Solomon" twenty times and then write their sensual scene. I like discretion and in the elegance, don't allow common coarse words to pop in.

It's hard to tell with translations. Is the translator the elegant writer or the author? I was surprised to find out the author was German (I blame that bias on a stoic German neighbor). I was sure that she was French. Is the translator or the author to blame for putting one or two common coarse words in the midst of the elegance? Just as there are grades of coarse for sandpaper, so too, there are grades for words. These were not the coarsest of the lot but just enough to jar the flow of reading.

I did continue reading and two main characters left Paris! Perdu left someone I thought was a person of interest! I didn't mind traveling with Perdu and Max through the French countryside on Perdu's Literary Apothecary bookshop barge, but as another friend who read this book mentioned, the story begins to meander. This novel reminds me of The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry by Rachel Joyce (fictional pilgrimage through English countryside) and two other international books A Man Called Ove by Frederick Backman and The Restoration of Otto Laird by Nigel Packer.

The novel is also reminiscent of another river story, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Mark Twain, however, does a better job of piecing his adventures together. That is perhaps unfair to compare George with Twain (Samuel Clemens) since this is George's second book; still, I think it will give the reader a clearer picture of the story.

Another peeve of mine is the interruption of the story line with chapters from other characters. For the first time, I noticed that the "voice" of the writing did not change with the character change. Perdu's beautiful thinking continued when the novel switched to Manon! I've never noticed that before in a novel. Perhaps I've never noticed because the writing was so-so whereas the style is noticeable from the beginning of The Little Paris Bookshop. So to have Manon's voice sound the same as Perdu's voice unsettled the flow of my reading. Later in the book, Manon's journal does not sound so flawless. Then, again, Perdu's voice becomes more plain as well. Again, is that the author or the translator or the fact of what Perdu and Manon are going through?

Parts of this book shine out for me, the mystery, the heartbreak, the books, the relationships: definitely worth between a 3 and a 4 rating.

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One of the things I do NOT regret is reading to my children. Just this past week, a friend in a poetry group passed out bookmarks printed with the following poem:

"The Reading Mother"

I had a mother who read to me
Sagas of pirates who scoured the sea
Cutlasses clenched in their yellow teeth,
"Blackbirds" stowed in the hold beneath.

I had a mother who read me lays
Of ancient and gallant and golden days;
Stories of Marmion and Ivanhoe,
Which every boy has a right to know.

I had a mother who read me tales
Of Gelet the hound of the hills of Wales,
True to his trust till his tragic death,
Faithfulness blent with his final breath.

I had a mother who read me the things
That wholesome life to the boy heart brings --
Stories that stir with an upward touch,
Oh, that each mother of boys were such!

You may have tangible wealth untold;
Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold.
Richer than I, you can never be --
I had a mother who read to me.

Strickland Gillilan
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Almost every spiritual formation plan includes reading scriptures every day. Here is a practice that may be new to the reader. Decide on one of the gospels of Jesus and read it straight through (or as close as possible for new parents). Mark is the shortest in case that helps! Something a young parent has now that I did not: the bible on a phone app. It is possible to get one of the gospels on the phone app (in anyone of the many versions) and read in those moments when you are holding the baby and can't set him or her down because then the child will wake up. Sneak in an uninterrupted few moments of just enjoying the Jesus story without studying it, without making notes, just letting being around Jesus sink in. Read with the eyes of love that Jesus has for you.

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NOTE: I finally added a partial list of the gift books shown in the post "Gift Books on the Top Middle Shelf..." See the comment section on that same post linked here.

This is Not the Lent I Had Planned

I had not planned to go on a media fast for Lent...and apparently my body knew that because I fell into old habits when I decided to forego social media for a week. Given the events of the first day of Lent, another mass shooting incident, calls for nothing less than sack cloth and ashes, mourning and weeping. Yet, I went about fixing breakfast and promptly popped onto a social media site -- didn't even think about the fast until 10 "likes" were clicked.

Still, I did change my plans which had included more of the ideas from Pope Francis (see image at the bottom of the page) and less of the kind which seem more like being put on restriction as in one's teenage years. I had thought to practice putting on goodness (and at the same time taking off that which harms). I had seen too much of sack cloth and ashes for show while the inner man and woman remained unchanged.

I needed a plan that recognized "to everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven" (Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8). I needed that which drew me to the love of Christ and a desire to put on kindness, gratitude, patience, hope, trust, contentment, joy, compassion, and love while at the same time drew me into an awareness of that which needed to be taken off and repented.

I found it in Ezekiel 36: 26 -- "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh."

I so appreciate the practice of my early morning fellowship. Each week during the season of Lent, as we walk into the church, we take a stone out of the basket (pictured above) and then we sit and converse with God asking to be shown those times during the past week when our hearts have been stony.

As we sing "A New Heart I'll Give to You", we place our stones in the baptismal bowl where the pastor will come with a pitcher of water to pour over the stones.

How often we blame our flesh and punish the flesh when the heart of flesh is not the problem. It's our hearts of stone. For me, during this Lenten season, I may fast -- from food or a food, from social media, from something that normally is just fine to indulge in -- but only if it aids in drawing me into the heart of Jesus where I will be given a heart of flesh in exchange for my heart of stone. Each of the "fast from" items on the left side of the words of Pope Francis are all characteristics of a stony heart. The characteristics on the right are those of a heart of flesh given by God as I draw deeper in relationship with Jesus Christ by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Preventing and Reversing (The End of Alzheimer's by Dale E. Bredesen)

I highly recommend this book not only for those whose family medical history includes Alzheimer's but also for those interested in possible ideas for other chronic illnesses. This is an incredibly hope-filled book. It is also a book which cites research and uses medical terms. I want that in any book about health that I read. If you do not, I noticed a concise version of this book offered on Amazon. It's possible that it leaves out the the medical vocabulary and the narrative remains. (I can not confirm that this is true; I'm just guessing that a shorter book might skim down the research.)

What Bedesen has to say made sense to me from the beginning, and after reading pages of logical reasoning based on research and results, I was still in agreement when he writes on page 272: "For centuries, we humans typically died from acute infections such as bacterial pneumonia, and the great biomedical success of the twentieth century was to develop antibiotics that treat them and public health policies that prevent them. As a result, most of us now die from chronic, complex illnesses such as cancer, cardiovascular disease, and neurodegenerative disorders. Unfortunately, we tried to solve the problem of chronic illness in the same way we solved the problem of acute illness: with a single pill, monotherapy. This is like using your checkers strategy in a chess match."

I also think it is human nature to want the quick one-size-fits-all solution, whether we're discussing health, education, child-rearing, or spiritual formation. An integrated, personalized approach takes time and work. Wouldn't it be nice if all of life could be solved with one pill? But, we are complex beings, uniquely made. My siblings and I are engaging on a journey, each journey unique to each, of seeking healing, mending, and thriving. We've just begun so we don't have a lot to say as yet (and I'm the most verbal -- imagine that); however, you can check on our journeys at Heal, Mend, Thrive .

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As I indicated above, I now truly believe in an integrated, personalized approach to child rearing. I did not learn that early enough in my child rearing days even though I had indications that this was the case. A story I tell that some friends have heard often involves my art drawer for my children. From the moment I gave birth to my first son and continuing with each child thereafter, I had a large art drawer in one of the bottom row of kitchen drawers. Inside this drawer was everything a child could need to be creative: paper, crayons, scissors, etc. The first two children were creative to their hearts' content and never used any of the tools poorly. I thought it was the way I was raising my children. Ha! The third child came along and wrote her name, engraved her name, on many places other than a piece of paper (bunk bed, coffee table, walls). This child graduated with a degree in art history. The fourth child came along and cut her hair! She also graduated with a degree, but, no, she is not a beautician. Same child rearing, different children.

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I'm always amazed when Christ-following spiritual leaders have a one-size-fits-all take on spiritual formation. Usually this is read your bible, get into a small community group, and go out and witness. I have no argument with "read your bible" but research shows that a vast number of Christians do not, and I believe that it has to do with trying to read the bible like a textbook. I have no argument with small community groups, but how they are put together and what happens inside may be problematic. With the statement, "Go out and witness" -- I have arguments against that I'd rather not go into here except to simply say the way that most Christians witness causes more harm than good. And, probably the most important connection to the a theme in the non-fiction book above? Integrated personalized practices that draw people to God: sleeping, slowing down, silence, fasting from criticism (oops!), among many others -- practices that integrate with personalized practices of reading the bible, being in community, and being the kind of person that people want to know why you are so wonderfully loving, kind, gentle, self-controlled, helpful, and good.

Finding -- (Life Animated by Ron Suskind)

I vaguely remember seeing Life Animated the documentary offered for viewing somewhere, but I've never seen it. Also, I have never read anything by Pulitzer Prize author Ron Suskind (that I can recall). For the more politically literate readers asking where have I been, I can only say that raising children and working left little time for choosing to read mostly political offerings. My introduction to Suskind via his book Life Animated comes because our local library book discussion group chose to read it for the month of February.

I knew right away that this was easily a 4 star book. From the hand of this skilled and gifted non-fiction writer (with all the appropriate facts and details) comes also a gripping story written with style and grace. When I reached page 108, I had raised those 4 stars to 5 and knew I would be buying the book. I buy books because I want to underline and keep something in mind. On this page (which became the first page of many), I want to remember Suskind's discussion of schmaltz and sentimentality. He writes "...for non-fiction [sentimentality gives one's characters] more love than society gives them, because maybe to do so upends the order of things; namely our surety in the ways we measure human values and some of us see ourselves, quite comfortably, as better than others."

After writing that last sentence, I went back and changed the title of this post. I had started with "Understanding", but understanding can lift us readers up as the ones who look down and now can understand. I tried out "Valuing" but even that word could carry with it the idea that I will value those lesser than I. Perhaps, this can also be true of "respect." So, I skipped all of those and went with "Finding" because this book is about finding the treasure within, finding the real person inside every human being, finding how to communicate with someone like Owen Suskind who, at the age of three, lands on the autism spectrum and has lost all speech he had, yet Owen Suskind -- heart, mind, and soul -- is still encased within his body.

The book is also about finding each person's giftedness, finding the inner hero, finding that sidekicks are heroes, finding the affinities which draw a person out of his or her isolation into friendship and kinship.

And, the Disney videos shown with the book in the picture above? You may find yourself wanting to go back and watch a few to see them through Owen Suskind's eyes.

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There's much in this book for parents whether one has an autistic child or not. Finding your child's affinities, being present to your child, growing through each stage of your child's life. Suskind often refers to a phrase: same and different. Yes, there are some situations that are different because of autism, yet some situations are the same no matter what challenge you and your child is facing.

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Spiritual formation practices: Unlike J. D. Salinger's quote in this book, I trust that it is not possible to love a human being more than God does. That 1 Corinthians 13 passage typically read at wedding services as the goal for couples? God is all that.

Being present and looking for the image of the Creator in every human being, practicing loving each as God loves, would be a good practice. As C.S. Lewis wrote: "There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal."

Befriending Writing -- (Memoirs of a Private Man by Winston Graham)

I may have read more memoirs the first 40 days of 2018 than I have in my entire life! I started Memoirs of a Private Man fairly close to the first day of the new year, reading a few pages each night or while waiting to pick up grandchildren from school. The book is not boring; it's just that I own this book and the library books must be finished or I incur library fees (not that fees have ever kept me from holding onto a book a bit longer -- I consider it my way of supporting public libraries).

I'm discovering that memoirs are not written chronologically. Graham admits he has not: "This, I hope readers will have realized has not been intended as a chronological memoir." Nice to know on page 259, two pages from the end of the book! Yet, each memoir I've read this year has been this same way. I surmise two thoughts from Graham's statement and the reading of the other memoirs: 1) Perhaps there is a theme to each chapter (although I'm not sure what it is in some chapters, so it could be a memoir is just written in whichever way an author remembers while he or she is writing), and 2) chronological memoirs exist.

First on Graham's mind as he prefaces this book is that he has not committed any of the "fashionable sins". He mentions murder, burglary, among other "sins" that I had to look up in the dictionary. His friend thought maybe Graham had committed simony, and Graham had to ask what that was. I've started a few memoirs like that, generally of the Hollywood vein, and never finished them.

I find it difficult separating whether I actually liked the book or whether the draw of reading about the making of the Poldark series kept me reading. Yes, this is the author of that series.

What is not to like about this picture (snagged from radiotimes) of the newest Poldark series: both the actors and the Cornwall scenery! Just so you all know, I did read the books, every single one of the 12 book series. My reviews of each are on Goodreads although not here on this blog.

While the organization (or lack thereof) is not to my taste, Graham's writing style here in his memoir is as excellent as it is in his books (of which, surprise to me, there are many more, mostly modern). Here is one sentence that grabbed me in spite of Graham breaking one of the "rules" I told my former students: "There are people too whom I describe as psychological bedwetters, who are for ever making little puddles of trouble that they think they can't help" (250).

Graham also discusses one of his books The Green Flash (not a combination of the Flash and Green Arrow/Lantern). When it was published, it was not a big seller. Graham states that a director told him it was a "fine novel but he would not want to make it into a film because the hero was such a @#$%" (I know...I still can't bring myself to use the word after so many years of outlawing it in my own home.) Publishers assured Graham that the book would continue to make it in the world. By now, this book might be mild by some current standards.

I found the book to be lovely and an easy read. I don't know that I would give it 5 stars, usually a number I give to books I buy and I did buy this one, but it is a grudgingly 4 star book (ha, I still can't forgive Graham for not being chronological).

As for the title of this blog "Befriending Writing"? Much of this book is filled with friendship, with his wife, with the actors of the first Poldark series, with men at the Savile Club, with his books. Writing, because that is the other subject with which the book is filled. Graham definitely had optimal conditions for writing, conditions most of us do not have, but he made the most of those conditions and kept his integrity, his privacy (I had no idea Graham even existed until the second Poldark series), and his marriage. Not a bad life.

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I wasn't sure I had any comment to make to parents of young children, but I think I did glean this from the book. My male students used to complain about how female characters (and they believed in real life as well) were drawn to "bad boys." This might be the case in Graham's The Green Flash; however, in his own life, the good guy did well enough for himself and his family. His wife and children did well enough for themselves.

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Perhaps a good practice to go with Memoirs of a Private Man might be secret service. This is a practice where one does something good and doesn't tell anyone! I did this one time (yes, I know, obviously I could use some more practice) and for weeks I had to fight the inclination to tell someone. I was at the point where surely telling a stranger on the street would be okay. Now, I can't even remember what I did, but I think my soul grew a little more that day.

Gift Books on the Top Middle Shelf in the Blue Room (and The World According to Mr. Rogers)

Ah, yes. Gift books. When you graduate from high school, you tend to get five copies of the latest in gift books for the graduate. Or, if you are the giver and you do not know what to give a graduate, but there is a gift book at hand, then that is what he or she will receive (even though they probably would have rather had the cash). This sounds harsh, especially since I happen to have a shelf of gift books.

However, this top shelf has a short vertical size which is perfect for gift books although I suppose some people, not me, would put knick knacks there. I do have two small floral paintings from Russia which hide audio tapes (yes, tapes) and CDs which came out before the time of podcasts.

Furthermore, I actually like some of these books and the book which I just read: The World According to Mr. Rogers is one worth buying (if the price is not outrageous) and keeping.

I have been fond of Mr. Rogers (now deceased) since first discovering his children's television program in the late seventies. His program moved slowly, gently, and thoughtfully. A friend mentioned the other day, "Mr. Rogers never talked down to the children."

My favorite Mr. Rogers's quote comes from when you have been hit with tragedy: "Look for the helpers." My favorite Mr. Rogers song is also in this book: "It's You I Like." Here are just two other new-to-me quotes from Mr. Rogers (although I may have heard them once before during the show):

"Some days, doing 'the best we can' may still fall short of what we would like to be able to do, but life isn't perfect -- on any front -- and doing what we can with what we have is the most we should expect of ourselves or anyone else."

"Confronting our feelings and giving them appropriate expression always takes strength, not weakness. It takes strength to acknowledge our anger, and sometimes more strength yet to curb the aggressive urges anger may bring and to channel them into nonviolent outlets. It take strength to face our sadness and to grieve and to let our grief and our anger flow in tears when they need to. It takes strength to talk about our feelings and to reach out for help and comfort when we need it."

I'd love to see this book turned into a perennial flip page desk calendar where I could see a different Mr. Roger quote each day.

As for those books on the gift book shelf? I'll try to make a list in the comments section later. For now, I've discovered some of them which I used all the time in the classroom can now find a new home; others, like the graduate book,...ummm, dare I re-gift it? As for the rest, they may stay there. But, what am I going to do with those Mars-Hill audio tapes?

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Mr. Rogers has lots of great wisdom for parents.

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A practice to go with this book? As Dallas Willard was fond of saying: "Take the next right step you know to take." If that next step falls short, know as Mr. Rogers states: "You have done what you could with what you had" (actually that's in the New Testament bible as well about the woman who "did what she could." And, know that God says, "It's you I like."

Remembering: (Gypsy Triptych by Schoorl), Godparents, and Who Gets the Dogs

I must explain my rating of the book Gypsy Triptych (before I muse further on godparents and dogs), a book that would make an excellent reading group discussion choice. Jump to paragraph six to find out who I think might enjoy the book.

I don't hate the book; I don't even dislike the book. This issue is giving three, four, or five stars to a book written by a childhood friend, the daughter of my brother's godparents. As with my review of Tender at the Bone which indicated that a reader would either love the book or stop reading depending on whether one wanted recipes in a book, so too with Gypsy Triptych and dreams. This book will either be a reader's dream book or a nightmare.

Gypsy Triptych is a family friend's fictionalized memoir. The author indicates that there is fact amongst the fiction, and one reviewer found it intriguing to guess at which parts were fact and which were fiction. I did as well. I also enjoyed walking through my memories of the location (fact) and memories of Schoorl's family (much of it spot on -- accurate).

Another caveat for friends and family to whom this would matter: Schoorl writes, "I was a firm believer in the power of prayer, magic, dream, science, and reincarnation." Whether this is Schoorl herself, her character, or just a part of the dream it is written in, I do not know. Those who have read my blog before (or know me) know that I do not believe in reincarnation; however, I agree to disagree with authors and keep reading.

One reviewer mentioned some grammatical errors. Thankfully, the errors are not too numerous and there are some beautiful sentences such as "The sea looked so calm, like a prisoner who hides the secret torments of his life" and "He was deep in slumber, looking like he was sleeping off years of woe." One section involving the various homes where Schoorl's character (or Schoorl herself) lived in is a bit confusing. I can imagine the members of my local library book discussion group getting frustrated with keeping track of what is going on. I can understand. As it turns out, I am concurrently reading Henry Miller's Big Sur and the Oranges of Hieronymus Bosch, and Miller's memoirs equally jump around in sequencing so Schoorl is in good company with her writing style.

Regarding dreams, Schoorl comments, "I was accustomed to living this way with dream scenes decorating the walls of my mind, shy wallflowers, guests I myself invited." I did find the thought "I had been trying to dream with intention" a new thought that I tried myself later that night.

Who I think might enjoy the book -- those who are tired of reading typical memoirs (often ones I never finish reading -- let's drop names of everyone famous I have ever been in contact with and drone on and on or let me tell you my story which includes so much adventure and illegal activities that the book is more of a peep show than something that resonates with one's life), those who would enjoy dreams in a book, those who live in the San Bernardino County area or are interested in that area, those who have had second chances at love or are interested in second chances, those who are in book discussion groups.

I won't list all of the questions I think would be relevant to a group discussion (too many), but I will move on with something I found intriguing early on (pages 8-9): "Whenever it seemed that I would misremember and relate events from my childhood incorrectly, or that I didn't remember anything the same way my siblings did, I just reminded myself that they weren't gifted with better memories, but that it was rather quite natural for me to remember less since I was the youngest. I wasn't being incorrect intentionally. I focused on things that were important to me, not important to them. I remembered things that were in my line of vision."

In my line of vision as I read this book were Schoorl's descriptions of her parents who were my brother's godparents.

I look at these photos now and think "How young they were!" If something had happened to my parents, my brother (according to godparent tradition) would have gone to live with them. It was fascinating to think how his life would have changed. I think he still would have gone to college just as Schoorl and her sister did. His godparents were intellectuals who strongly believed in education. Would he have met my sister-in-law, a woman he met in high school and has been in love with since that time?

I was fourteen when the picture above of my brother and godparents was taken. Too young to take care of all my siblings, although as I grew older I wanted to do so if anything happened. Plenty happened -- the death of a marriage -- but not the death of my parents. My own godparent had forgotten that she was my godparent when we met up later in life. It wasn't memory loss, but merely the aspects of coming from a large extended family.

My aunt loved to travel and did it often, almost traveling to every part of the world so I know I would have kept something I have now: the love of traveling. I would have had a good life, and by good, I mean a life of loving God and loving others.

And, just to end with a cute dog picture: these are my granddogs although I doubt my daughter would call them that!

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I've started adding these little notes that my older self wished I could have told my younger parent self. My husband and I did not choose godparents for our children. I think I assumed my sisters would step up and take care of them. It is something to think about: choosing godparents and choosing in way that you can picture how your child or children would grow up with those parents.

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I've also started including practices for spiritual formation, for thriving. One thread that keeps running through Schoorl's book is the loneliness she felt growing up, something that surprised me given my family of seven lived down the street from Schoorl...until I recalled that we moved away while my siblings were still in elementary school which meant Schoorl also was still in elementary school. A good practice might be to look at one's community. Do you and I have a number of friends (enough to balance the loss of friends who move away or later in life, move into eternity) that we are willing to keep in contact with (more than Christmas cards)? 

Top Shelf with the Memories on the Left in the Bedroom -- Journals, Memoirs, and Writing, Oh My!

This is my second bookshelf post. For some people, this shelf on a bedroom hutch would not be for books. It would be for pictures or knick knacks. Not so in a reader's house. If you are a mom and here for a mom moment, skip down to the hearts. If you are interested in the spiritual practices side of this blog, skip down to the dotted lines. Those of you interested in brief synopses of the books, keep reading.

From left to right:
Streams in the Desert devotional journal -- not written in. I have this habit of buying beautiful journals and then not wanting to mar the pages. My original Streams in the Desert by L. B. Cowman is on the other side of the hutch, well used and well read.

I am Inspired reflections journal -- 15 pages written in while I was in Russia. It was a good choice for Russia as it is lightweight. Twice before I had traveled to Russia and not written down my thoughts when I was there. The experienced travelers say to reflect while you are on the journey or you will forget. I found this to be true, but difficult to implement. My last written words are in Russian. Unfortunately, I have dropped my practices and have forgotten much so I'm not sure what it says. Мы is "We"; Сару is probably Sarah, my daughter, with whom I was traveling. I know the last word is "house" and the next to the last, I think, is "old" and we were visiting an old, very old, house.
Мы двинули Сару к её новому дому.

What to do with the other pages? Sigh. I have many, many journals and a tendency to pick one up and start writing, no matter the date or subject. In other words, if my children or grandchildren ever read them, they will find the scope and sequencing way out of sync (out of order). I did have a idea for young moms (or anyone really), see 💕 below.

Live This Day a birthday book of questions and reflections -- not written in (are you sensing a pattern here?). I picked this up at a yard sale for 25 cents. I had grand plans of writing in it on my birthday every year, but I did not think about it two months ago.

Mere Christianity journal -- a beautiful leather journal (ahem, also not written in). I had bought one for one of my students as a graduation gift, liked it so much that I bought one for myself. There is a beautiful violet pressed inside.

All Shall Be Well by Paraclete Press -- colorful pages, quotes by saints of old (the cover quote by Hilda St. Clair), opportunities to draw and write, WRITTEN IN! I turn often to the first two pages. On one side is a quote by Teresa of Avila: "Let nothing disturb you. Let nothing frighten you. God alone is enough." On the other side are boxes in a variety of colors with these instructions: "Write your fears in each of these boxes. Now mark an X over each one and write underneath each one, "God is bigger than this." I have not literally filled in those boxes, but when I am fearful, I sometimes come to this page and mentally fill in the box, cross it out, and say to myself, "God is bigger than this." If you happened to read my post Magi-Community-Regrets-Resolutions, you will know that I took issue with those who respond to all situations with a blanket: God is enough. I responded, "God is enough AND God wants community." I still think that is true. I also know God is enough and bigger than all my fears. God also uses the community of saints (and sinners) to love me and strengthen me.

Writing About Your Life by William Zinsser -- I need all the help I can get. Obviously, what I need most is either the time or the will to sit down and start writing.

Old Friend from Far Away by Natalie Goldberg -- Yes, another "The Practice of Writing Memoir" Gulp, not written in. Yes, this is a "how-to" writing memories with actually exercise pages. Maybe I could put one page from a journal or memory book down on my list of "to-do" (see hearts below).

The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence -- so loved, the front cover is there but no longer attached. The copyright on this book is 1982. I may have had it longer than that. I can't say that I have read and re-read the book as much as I have constantly been reminded by the title that I can practice being aware of the presence of God.

Born for Battle by R. Arthur Mathews (copyright 1978) -- I've also had this book for a very long time. Every time I think about passing it along something happens to remind me of its value. The battle in this book is not against flesh and blood but against the spiritual forces of wickedness in heavenly places. What saved the book on the bookshelf this week was a section "God's Good Purposes in Human History" in Dallas Willard's book The Allure of Gentleness. It's too long of a discussion to post here, but I recommend Willard's book.

The Calvary Road by Roy Hession -- This is another book that I sometimes think of passing on and then I see the words I have underlined. The author, at least as he wrote the book, writes humbly and lovingly (which always draws me in) of openness and transparency.

If by Amy Carmichael -- Another little book I have had for a long time. When I pull it down, it is usually to remind myself of her poem "Love through me, Love of God" -- the second stanza is as follows:

Powers of the love of Good, 
Depths of the heart Divine, 
O Love that faileth not, break forth, 
And flood this world of Thine. 

Boundless Love by six women -- As I took the picture of this bookshelf, I wondered, "Do I have this book up here because I'm too lazy to pass it on?" So, I pull it down and start to read. The short vignettes by these women are so good. They were all grey-haired when the book came out, and I have been looking for writings by older women. The back page is a appropriate synopsis: "Our faith begins and ends with the love of God. In the face of life's struggles, how deeply we need to trust in a love greater than ourselves..."

A Heart Like His by Mike and Amy Nappa -- Written like a blog would be written, before there were blogs.

I Celebrate You, Grandmother! -- Back to the journal type of books. A gift book I found at a yard sale and couldn't pass up...even though my grandmothers died many years ago. I'm not sure what I intend to do with it! Hope my grandchildren find it and fill it in for me? Hah!

A Closer Walk by Catherine Marshall -- I keep pages 102-103 permanently bookmarked. These are the pages when Marshall discusses the day she decided to practice "fasting from criticism." Her account is hilarious (always hilarious when someone else it is happening to someone else). She writes: "My critical nature had not corrected a single one of the multitudinous things I found fault with." Those last three words are key words. Most of us, myself especially included, would not think of ourselves as critical. The word "critical" applies to someone mean, doesn't it. However, Marshall fasted from speaking out anything that day with which she found fault (whether she was right or not!). See below the dotted line for what she learned from this day.

Finally, A Time To Pray 365 Classic Prayers to help you through the year, compiled by Philip Law -- The title states it all, and I've used this book a lot.

Would I put any of these books on my Ideal Bookshelf? -- I don't know. Possibly the All Shall Be Well. Small, good quotes, good reflections.

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This morning, I wanted to accomplish as much as possible. I tend to jump from one activity to the next, getting things done, but maybe not as efficiently as possible (and forgetting some things in the middle of doing others). I have practiced making a list in the past and it has worked for me (as long as I don't lose all the little sticky notes, pieces of paper, etc.). Typically I jump from one activity to the next as they come to mind. This morning as I thought of something that needed to be done, I jotted it down on a piece of paper. This kept me from thinking of a computer activity and then finding myself still on the computer an hour later. I kept a list of everything that needed to be accomplished on the computer.

It did occur to me as my list grew that this might be overwhelming to a parent who is already overwhelmed. (One obviously can not put "change baby's diaper" on the list.) I wondered if putting one thing down per page, such as in this disposable little journal, might look more do-able. Once an action is crossed off, the page can be used again. It becomes more of a list making device than a journal, but one can look back and see how she made it through the day, and when there are encouraging words on the page to continually look at each time, an inexpensive journal (often found at the dollar store or cheaply at a yard sale) can be better than plain sheets of paper (easily lost).

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If you're looking to practice a day of fasting from criticism, it might help to read what Marshall discovered:
1) A critical spirit focuses on ourselves and makes us unhappy. We lose perspective and humor.
2) A critical spirit blocks the positive creative thoughts God longs to give us.
3) A critical spirit can prevent good relationships between individuals and often produces retaliatory criticalness.
4) Criticalness blocks the work of the Spirit of God: love, good will, mercy.
5) Whenever we see something genuinely wrong in another person's behavior, rather than criticize him or her directly, or -- far worse -- gripe about him behind his back, we should ask the Spirit of God to do the correction needed. (Marshall 104)

Cooking (Tender at the Bone)...or Eating

When reading book reviews, one must necessarily read with a pinch of salt. I choose to write "pinch of salt" here because the book I finished last Tuesday was a book with recipes, but it was not a cookbook. Readers who hate for an author to include recipes are going to hate this book, maybe not even finish it. Those who don't mind will read the book and enjoy the story where author Ruth Reichl discovers that "food could be a way of making sense of the world." As for me, the recipes did not interfere with my reading of the book, and if I were to buy the book for myself (it was loaned to me by a friend), I would be buying it because I wanted the recipes.

Reichl's story is a memoir, of sorts. She writes: "This book is absolutely in the family tradition. Everything here is true, but it may not be entirely factual. In some cases I have compressed events; in others I have made two people into one. I have occasionally embroidered." As it turns out, I have fallen into a genre of reading that I don't usually read: memoirs. I'm reading four of them currently. I have discovered that memoirs have quite a bit of fictional edge to them.

Reichl states, "I learned early that the most important thing in life is a good story." Hmmm, sounds like a good book discussion question there. I hope this means her mom was not quite as dysfunctional as she sounds in the book. Her mother's habit of serving moldy food did influence me. I immediately went to my refrigerator and threw out the turkey bones I had been saving to make bone soup. Granted, her mom had them in the refrigerator two weeks and I only had them in three days, but her mom's "Everything Stew" made me squeamish at the thought of using the bones less than fresh off the turkey.

When an author embellishes a memoir, a person with an average adventurous life (me) can feel as if only people with amazing stories are worthy of being published. I don't know about the worthy part, but certainly Reichl may have felt that need in order to have her book published. As a story, it's a fun, easy read (four days).

I did have one experience that connected with one of hers. Risotto. I am here to save your meal if you find yourself in Italy, at a local market buying Arborio rice because there isn't any other rice on the shelf. You take your groceries back to the little place you are renting for the week in Tuscany. You measure out the water, just like you would for rice at home. You measure out the rice: 1/2 the amount of the water.

STOP!

Your rice will never cook this way. EVER. You will give up on it and eat the rest of the meal without the rice.

Risotto, an Italian dish made with Arborio rice must have little amounts of broth added to it and you must stir and stir and stir. As the site in the link below states it: "you have one job and one job only" to keep stirring while you add the broth. Risotto Recipe for Beginners

I have not tried cooking it the way Reichl mentions in the book: "...cover the rice with boiling broth and bake it". She does not include a recipe. I surmise that she does not think it is a good idea either.

Another take away from the book: a mentor to Reichl makes her "taste salad dressings over and over until I could pour out the precise ratio of olive oil to vinegar without looking at what I was doing. 'It's like typing, ' she said, 'you have to know it in the fingers so that you do not think about it with the head. You will need this later.'"

This is quite a profound practice. More and more I am coming to realize the body has memories which the mind forgets. I see this in my father with his Alzheimer's. I see it when I come to the computer ready to put in one of the many passwords I use. My fingers remember that which I might have a difficult time telling someone if I had to do it without moving my fingers. And, I am finding it in my spiritual life as well. In the recent past, walking with Christ has been too much of a cerebral walk and not enough of a bodily one. While saying they don't believe in Gnosticism, some Christians act gnostic! Only spirit is good, and matter is evil.

What?! Where have I taken you, the reader? Jesus loved to eat: see how often he is doing it in the gospel accounts. This is a joyful book, and I hope the character of Doug (Reichl's husband) is a true one. He really is a turning point in the book. His goodness brings out joy in Reichl's dad and courage in Reichl herself (along with her friend Marion).

So, I end with recommending this book to those who can handle recipes within a story, and if, in addition to reading the book,  you would like to watch a joyous movie (different story) about food and love and goodness bringing out the best in a group of stiff, straight-laced, religious group, watch Babette's Feast.
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A suggested practice: Really enjoy making a meal. Look at the colors. Smell the fragrances. Taste and taste and taste again. Sit down to eat. Take your time. Savor the meal (or if you're at my house, feel free to chuckle with me over my mishaps). Love the people you're with. Thank God for whatever has been provided. Bless the food, the hands that prepared it, those who eat it. (If you have sandpaper people in your life -- which involves other practices -- then, in this practice, start with just you and God enjoying the meal, or a few people willing to enjoy communing over a meal with you.) 

Training (Solomon's Oak by Jo-Ann Mapson)

Once upon a time, after being heartbreakingly laid off, I mentioned to a friend that I wanted to review books and connect each book with an -ing word (swimming, walking, sleeping, etc.). "Training" works for this book, but so does "grieving", and both of those indirectly. "Living" describes the contents of this novel, but "living" is one of those generalized words that works for just about any story.

Surprisingly, this is the February meeting choice for our local library book discussion group. While the setting will be known to all of the members (since it is set in our own county and the next county over), the author mentions the faith of the dead husband early on. He had built a chapel on the property where he would go to pray. This automatically screams out "Christian romance novel" to the majority of the members of the book club and some may not even read to the end. Those same members would be wrong. Is that a plot spoiler? Mapson treats everyone kindly in this novel: believer and non-believer alike, so her target audience is obviously not going to be on the far ends of the religious/not religious spectrum.

Left with readers in the middle, those looking for classic symbolism are going to fall away. Solomon's  Oak fits the definition from Oxford Living Dictionary (online): "A fictitious prose narrative of book length, typically representing character and action with some degree of realism." Solomon's Oak is a story with a slightly typical ending in one area but not in two other areas (which I can not mention without spoiling the ending).

Is the book worth checking out of the library and reading? Definitely (for reasons I will mention below). Is it worth buying? Hmmm, that depends on what you want to remember from the book after you are done reading it which brings me to "training."

Mapson's realism comes in describing the training of her dogs (and even in some respects, her horses). The descriptions of training might be a bit much for some readers. I wouldn't say it was overdone, and I liked the variety of approaches she took with her dogs. I might still question her foster son's demonstration of building a relationship in two hours with a snapping, snorting four-year-old mare, but it fits the storyline. As Mapson writes in the story: "It's my belief that animals can help a human being travel to the wounds of childhood. The best part is, once you go there, you can fix things. Get on with life."

The animals in the story are as much a part of the story as the human beings. The main character, Glory, fosters a teenager not doing well in the county social system. The teenager, Juniper, connects with one of the dogs. Part of Juniper's issues involves a mystery, just enough for those of us who don't read mysteries. Maybe not enough of a mystery for readers of that genre.

"Fostering" could have been another word along with "grieving." The English assignment written by Juniper on Christmas is one part of this novel that makes it a definitely-read-this novel. All of the English assignments written by Juniper are as academically bad to read as you would expect from a girl who hates school (with good reason), but the essay on Christmas is eye-opening.

Grieving is what both the teenager and Glory and Joseph are doing. Yes, there's a man and there's a romance, but the characters work well in the story.

"Wedding" is another -ing word but not in the same category. Mapson's attention to detail may annoy some readers who just want to get on with the story. I think each part is described well, including another -ing word: homeschooling -- homeschooling via the John Holt method. Holt would have loved the description as it is a perfect example of what he believed in.

Annoyances for me?
Mild -- Page 72 when Glory and her sister Halle (I could have included "sibling" as a word as well) are discussing their mom who is sixty-two years old as if that is old. Granted the mom has inflammatory arthritis, but still sixty-two is not ancient!
More than mild -- Mapson starts off great with an omniscient viewpoint (something that seems to have fallen by the wayside in recent years), and then she falls into the same modern flaw I see often these days. Let's change the narrator by titling the chapter with the character's name. Why not learn how to write in the omniscient view all the way through the novel?

On Goodreads, I won't be giving it 5 stars because I reserve that for books I buy, but "Juniper's" essay on Christmas and the details on activities that could be learned within these pages along with a good story push it from 3 (my original thoughts when I started the book) to a 4.
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Since my blog introduction mentions slow track spiritual formation, my take away from this book: "training" when it is done well is not a bad word. We accept training for sports or sporting events. We accept the idea of training for animals, but somehow the idea of training ourselves in the area of spiritual formation seems so unspiritual as if training is too mechanical and lacks mystery. It helps me to think of training as helping my body learn good habits, in this case, good habits of coming to God in relational ways and learning good habits of being kind and patient and forgiving to others so that I can love them as Jesus tells me to love them.

A take away from the book: training myself to listen and not assume what I think is cheery (in the book for Juniper, Christmas) will be cheery to someone else, training myself to look and listen because one dog is not like every other, one human being is not like every other, one person's grief is not like another person's grief.

Word, Star Word

My parents, and my friends' parents taught us this little ditty: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." I have no idea where the saying came from, but it is not true. Words can hurt, and words can heal, mend, help, and inspire.

Joanne Rogers's forward to The World According to Mister Rogers starts with this quote by Bessie Anderson Stanley:

"He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much, who has enjoyed the trust of pure women, the respect of intelligent men, and the love of little children, who has filled his niche and accomplished his task, who has left the world better than he found it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul, who has never lacked appreciation of Earth's beauty or failed to express it, who has always looked for the best in others and given them the best he had, whose life was an inspiration, whose memory a benediction."

Since words do have impact, I would add that the English language still has a challenge in ensuring that the "He" with which this quote begins also applies to "She," and each gender can enjoy the trust of pure women or pure men and the respect of intelligent men and women.

Joanne -- Mrs. Fred Rogers -- explains: "There were always quotes like that tucked away in Fred's wallet, next to his neatly folded bills, or in the pages of his daily planner book. Perhaps he liked having words of wisdom close to him, as if he wanted -- or needed -- to be constantly reminded of what was important in life. The outside world may have thought his qualities of wisdom and strength came naturally to him, but those close to him knew that he was constantly striving to be the best that he could be. He was as human as the rest of us" (1-2).

This post is not a review of that book. I only read those first two pages yesterday and intend to save this small size book for those weeks during the 52 Books in 52 Weeks Challenge when I'm not going to be able to finish a larger size book!

This post is about words. A word, actually. A word on a star. My word on a star last year was "Newness." You can read about last year's word here: This Isn't the Newness I Signed Up For.

I attend a small church and a big church. Big churches offer a lot, but small churches can also offer activities that would be difficult for mega churches: activities like ones where stars are placed all over the church. After service, those who want a star, take one off of the wall (or window sill or door jamb) and turn it over to reveal a word that can be used in meditation with God throughout the year.

I started thinking about this year's star last night while I was desperately trying to get to sleep (and berating myself for drinking coffee late in the afternoon). I thought about how I should go about picking my star: by color? by location within the church? I thought about what word I might get. There are over 400 words, and I was trying to prepare for the word I would get!

The word I picked up was not one that crossed my mind; however, first, I will explain how I decided. I came to church and said to myself: "I would like a star from around the beautiful stained glass window of Jesus and the woman." Next,  I thought about color: Not purple because for some reason I was thinking I already had a purple star, but that was the color of my granddaughter's star last year (she had "thankfulness"). I was drawn to a teal-colored star on the left and then a black star on the corner. (I really like black as my children know. They used to accuse me of only owning clothing in shades of black.) Meanwhile, the service began and I glanced at the stars in front of me. My eyes were drawn to a deep red star. I must explain that reds and pinks have never been my favorite colors...until the past two years. I have fallen in love with a deep red. My Christmas tree this year had deep red ornaments and twinkly white lights. Very typical Christmas colors, but highly unusual for me.

I chose a deep red star, turned it over, and read "Forgiveness." If you've read my blog for any length of time, you will know my reaction was one of my default reactions: "Oh no! Who or what am I going to have to forgive this year? From whom am I going to need to ask forgiveness?" I tend to jump  off the deep end in my immediate reactions. (For readers in other countries who may not have this saying, it refers to swimmers, usually beginners, who jump into the deep end of the pool to their detriment rather than learning to swim slowly stroke by stroke.)

After my immediate "Oh my life is going to fall apart" reaction, I settle into a calmer "Well, Lord God, this is going to be an interesting year." Here is my star in its star place:

I close by telling you that I love this picture above. So much is represented here: my husband and I (in our younger years at Christmas); items from Russia, England, and Japan; items old  from grandparents, aunt,  my childhood, my children's childhoods; handcrafted items; and items from special events. Nestled among those memories: a star of "newness" and now a star of "forgiveness."

It's an important word. I'll let you know come December 2018 how life turns out. Lord willing. 

Magi, Community, Regrets, Resolutions, God...Or, Musings on This Twelfth Day of Christmas

Our Magi have arrived to their, not biblically accurate but culturally acceptable, place with the Holy Family and the Shepherds.

Several times in 2017 I heard the statement made: God is enough. Indeed God IS enough, AND God in God's enoughness (with apologies to those of you reading this in translation since "enoughness" -- uncountably enough -- is not in a traditional dictionary)... God, being so enough to cover anything and everything, wants community, loves community. As Dallas Willard was so often heard to say:

"The aim of God in history is the creation of an all-inclusive community of loving persons, with Himself included in that community as its prime sustainer and most glorious inhabitant."

Picture Jesus, Immanuel, God with us, born to parents who could only afford turtle doves as their temple sacrifice after the birth of Jesus (so they were not wealthy). Angels gave them messages. An older cousin and her husband were part of their support group. Shepherds, perhaps multi-generational if the shepherds brought their older sons with them, came to honor them as well as Magi, obviously wealthy enough to make a long journey bringing gold, frankincense, and myrrh as gifts. Later they will be greeted (and given messages to ponder) by an old woman and an old man. Years later they will travel with family and friends, people Mary and Joseph trust so much, they won't look for Jesus for three days (and then discover he is not with them).

Here on this twelfth day of Christmas, on Epiphany Day when the manifestation of Jesus to the Gentiles as represented by the Magi is celebrated (and the Christmas tree is undecorated and put out into the trash barrel), I find myself thinking about community, regrets, and resolutions.

I'm not a New Year's Resolution maker. Resolutions set me up for failure. However, I do like to practice behaviors that will draw me to love God and love others. As I think of community, I want to practice listening and being present to those with a message, to those who support me, to those of all social classes, all ages, to my family and friends.

As for regrets, unlike a popular song lyric, I have more than a few, but when those regrets come to call, I don't want to waste present time (especially when I've apologized over and over for them) in regretting my regrets. Instead I want to practice taking the next right step I know to take (another Willardism) and not regret this present day sometime in the future. I won't always get it right, but as I fix my eyes on Jesus, I will be at peace. As I practice loving God with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength, and loving others as myself, I will still experience heartache and sorrows, but I will find comfort in sorrow, share joy and peace in tribulations, see beauty in the ashes.

While I'm musing, have you ever found yourself thinking of something and then completely unexpectedly, you read about something you are thinking of? This morning, I read this in Big Sur and The Oranges of Hieronymus Bosch by Henry Miller (the first time I've ever read a Henry Miller book):

"What could one bring that would be of value to the community? Just a normal, modest desire to do whatever needs to be done in whatever way it can be done. Briefly, two capable hands, a strong heart, and a certificate against disillusionment. If you have an intellect, bring it with you, but not the rubbish that usually goes with it...And, if you bring nothing else, bring a sense of humor..." (Miller 37). Sounds like a good practice to me. 

How Does One Choose for an Ideal Bookshelf?

One down, fifty-one more to go. Books, that is. I'm trying to read 52 books in 52 weeks. I happened to be at the library, and the librarians had  showcased My Ideal Bookshelf. I borrowed it before anyone else had the opportunity. It is the perfect book to start a year of reading. Every other page focuses on the ideal bookshelf of "more than one hundred leading cultural figures" -- basically the friends and friends of friends of the author and illustrator. I gave it five stars on Goodreads (this first paragraph is also almost word for word the same as that review) because I'm going to buy the book for my own library so that I can have all those lists of books at hand. I rejoiced to see one of my favorites Middlemarch on three ideal bookshelves. Moby Dick showed up on several as expected (but I'm still not going to read it in full). Then, there were books that were on a number of bookshelves that I had never heard of before. I liked the variety in the bookshelves: books on photography, design, technology, poetry, plays, fiction, non-fiction, childhood books and encyclopedias, math books (math!) and books in languages other than English.

I already used a picture of the book My Ideal Bookshelf on my last post where I shared that I was going to take the challenge "Reading 52 Books in 52 Weeks...Oh My!" so I'll share a picture, not of my ideal bookshelf (I don't know what I'll put on that bookshelf yet), but here are the books on our nightstand. Some of these have been here for quite a while!

Frankly, I cleaned it up a bit. I truly cleaned it up before the holidays and then cleaned it up some more before taking the picture. Since I realized I was going to practice "real" this year, here is the real view:

Clothes thrown on top and a diffuser that doesn't soak everything but puts a little bit of moisture into our dry air. After I took these two pictures, I also realized one of the books is backwards.

One of my writing professors for each assigned composition also assigned an article to read out of the book above. I had primarily been a novel reader up until that time (with plays and poetry included), but I really came to enjoy non-fiction magazine articles through the influence of this book. The book was on the stand because I thought my husband might enjoy reading short pieces while he was recovering from a serious infection in his leg. He's not much of a reader, so a very long time ago, I found the Paul Reiser book on Couplehood and thought I would read it out loud. The book is hilarious (or at least I thought so way back when).

Headed upward on the righthand side is Interior Castle by Teresa of Ávila which I intended to read but only made it to page twelve. I still intend to read it. Maybe I'll do that for one of my 52 books this year. I'm practicing not starting or acquiring anything new this year. Find that idea here in this post.

Author David writes: I keep imagining a tradition I’d like to invent. After you’re established in your career, and you have some neat stuff in your house, you take a whole year in which you don’t start anything new or acquire any new possessions you don’t need.

No new hobbies, equipment, games, or books are allowed during this year. Instead, you have to find the value in what you already own or what you’ve already started.

For those of you still reading because you're curious about the rest of the books on the stand: 

Continuing on the righthand side, from bottom to top: 

Quiet  by Susan Cain -- finished last year, need to find time to review it and add to Goodreads

Boo by Rene Gutteridge -- borrowed from younger daughter, keep meaning to loan it to my mom who would enjoy the story. 

On the lefthand side, bottom to top: 

Everyday with Jesus Bible with Devotions by Selwyn Hughes -- read through several times. It's a one-year reading bible. I enjoyed the groupings of OT, NT, psalm and proverbs readings along with the short devotional and prayer. 

Two books on preaching that I finished reading: Preaching by Timothy Keller and Communication for a Change by Stanley Jones. I think they're still on the stand because I haven't reviewed them yet. 

The Shoes of the Fisherman by Morris L. West is the oldest book I own in this grouping of books. It has my maiden name written on the inside cover. Originally published in 1963, I read the second edition in 1969 and as a high schooler, I was impressed with the story. I held onto the book for years and two years ago, I finally placed it into a "give it away" box. However, then I heard a speaker quote from the book and, suddenly, it wasn't just me that thought the book had worth. As it turns out, one of the participants in My Ideal Bookshelf also included mention of The Shoes of the Fisherman! 

With that comment, I have brought this post full circle back to My Ideal Bookshelf.