Moving On (Miller's Valley by Anne Quindlen)

Nothing like walking through reviews of a book and realizing that I am going to be one of the few who rate it with 3 stars. Three stars: I liked it. It was fine. There's the issue, isn't it? We don't like to receive a 'C' grade, an average grade. We don't like to be "fine" or "nice." I can't really label the book as "nice" as once again this summer I've just finished a sad book (with somewhat of a "happy" ending, I guess). I am desperate to move on to something witty and humorous and happy. However, I didn't choose this book (it was a book discussion group choice for the month of July-August), and moving on from sad books is not why I chose the title "Moving On" for this post.

The people of Miller's Valley must move out and move on because their town is going to be covered in water; it will be a "drowned town". This is not a plot spoiler as we learn this immediately in the novel.

Still, I could have chosen a variety of themes to focus on from Quindlen's novel: eminent domain, 1960s and Vietnam (or any war era sending back soldiers into civilian life), family relationships, friendship, pro-life/pro-choice/sex, growing up / growing old, loneliness, identity and home.

All those themes touch my life in one way or the other, but I keep coming back to what it means to "move on." When does moving on help us grow and thrive, and when is moving on equivalent to cutting ourselves off from what matters and/or simply running away? When does someone else's moving on become something we have to deal with, get through, and get over?

If a reader is willing to look into that theme running throughout Miller's Valley and throughout the lives of its characters, then she or he will have lots to think about in this "quiet" book (a number of reviewers who rated this book three stars were wishing they had paid attention to the "quiet" label -- this means the story may move a bit slower than one would like).

The book is an excellent choice for discussion, but I'm not purchasing the book for my own shelves.

💕💕💕💕 One of the most important actions we can take with our children (and with ourselves) is to help them build up friendships that will last a lifetime. Some childhood friendships will fall by the wayside -- oh! what a great analogy I've fallen into! Some friendships will fall on footpaths where the busy birds of this life will eat them up. If the friendships seem like good ones, pick up the seeds and move them to a place where they can be nurtured. Some friendships fall  among the rocks. Make sure that not all of your children's friendships and your own friendships stay in the rock or acquaintance region. Some friendships will fall among the weeds. Those are the tough calls to make when it comes to friendships. To have friendships among the good soil, those are friendships that last a lifetime and in rain and shine, help us to thrive and grow. Too often I've either moved on from friendship to friendship or planted friendships everywhere without making sure that I have deep friendships.

--------------Matthew, Mark, Luke, and Acts in the New Testament all write of "shaking the dust off of   [one's] feet." Words for moving on. My comments here address whether we read those stories in light of the reality that God is Love (see my ongoing blog post about this in this link here.  ) or if we read it as if God were made in our own image and if we shake off dust, then we either hate you or can't stand you or feel something other than God love for you. What if we look at "shaking of the dust" as moving on and moving past so that we can thrive and grow, so that we are not continually dragged down into the taking any number of unhelpful actions: being someone's rescuer and getting in the way of the Holy Spirit; becoming morose and stuck in the past; getting angry and becoming depressed about the past, unable to hear the goodness to which God is inviting us...

What if "shaking off the dust", "moving on", means we are invited to move away from bitterness, wrath, malice, evil words -- to put them off, to shake them off -- and to put on, move toward kindness compassion, and forgiveness? It may mean that moving on and away from someone or something is healing for our souls...and may lead to healing for theirs as well.

What if "shaking off the dust" means a moving on which is also helpful to the person or people from whom we are moving on or moving past? If the person can not hear and feel our love, can not hear and feel that the kingdom of God has come near to them, do we trust God in perfect love to send someone else? Just because we need to shake the dust off of our feet does not mean that God has abandoned the people. Truly, if these actions of shaking off the dust in protest as a testimony does not change any minds, if after time and time again, a person chooses to walk away from the freedom offered in Jesus, in God, in Love with a capital 'L', then the person gets to have what he or she wants and that is a life outside of the kingdom of God. That is sad, but the judgment does not come from us. Shaking dust off of our feet does not make us superior. It is merely an action done in love directed by God who is Love because we who are moving on are not the ones to carry the message of love there. We need to discontinue reading the words of Jesus as though he is saying them with hate and instead read them as a parent who deeply loves his children. "And you, Capernum, [think, dear children, about this] will this get you to heaven? No, you will go down to Hades [Sheol, a place of darkness, a place of death, a place where nothing grows or thrives; this is not what I want for you; change your mind, dear children, for I love you with an unfailing love].

**********I continue to think on this topic of moving on, shaking the dust off my feet. This question comes to mind. When do I move on and when do I stay put? It might have to do with what leads me toward  God and which leads me away from God. It probably has a lot to do with what is most helpful for both the one who is not listening and to me as well. Which "moving on" "shaking the dust off" move me toward God and away from anything that puts me in the place only God can hold or takes me away from anything I idolize? Which "moving on" or "shaking the dust off" takes me farther away from God's invitation to me (think of Jonah and Ninevah)? 

Listening (The Art of Listening in a Healing Way by James E. Miller)

The Art of Listening in a Healing Way by James E. Miller "reveals the art of being a healing listener" as the back cover states. It's a small book -- 80 pages and truly only half of those pages have full size paragraphs printed on them. On the left hand, even numbered pages are quotes and beautiful pictures of flowers. Still, I would buy this book again with no problem (the price is typically reasonable), and I easily rate it four stars. If I had not been so stingy with my star ratings lately, I would give it five stars because listening is a skill desperately needed today. When listening becomes an art form, all manners of goodness takes place.

The book is made up of statements such as "Healing listening is founded on wonder" and "Healing listening begins with a triple intention." Each statement is explained, described, and illustrated with a combination of instruction, inspiration, research, and example. Occasionally, another quote will be found on the right hand instructional/inspirational side such as the one by Irish poet William Butler Yeats on page 29: "We can make our minds so like still water that beings gather about us to see their own images..." Miller concludes: "Your still presence gives others the opportunity to see their own reflections. Your quiet being offers a hush in which others can find and hear their own voices."

Much of the book may not even be new to the reader; however, it is good to be reminded that the gentle art of listening is a gift we can bring to one person at a time in a world with voices shouting and clamoring to sell us something, whether that which is being sold is an emotion, a viewpoint, a product, or a service.

And, now I have come to the end of my spring-early summer reading books! (I won't count this one toward my 52 books read in 52 weeks because it is so small.)

To see the reviews of each of these titles, click on the links in the titles: Summer Hours at the Robbers Library, Leadership and Self-Deception, Small Country, Joyful Journey, Plant Paradox, Hillbilly Elegy, and Calypso.

💕 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

My mother taught her children as we became parents: "If your boys start to talk to you, stop everything and listen because that may be the only time you will get to hear what they have to say." She had it partly right. My brother is a quiet person so if he starts talking, we want to stop and listen. However, girls can be quiet, too. And, even when children are not quiet, boys and girls, they need a listening ear. I have two quiet children (male and female) and two talkative ones (male and female). At least they were talkative when young, but, friends and family, with goodnatured intentions, made jokes about their talkative ways, and now they are much quieter, and that can be a sad outcome.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I've included this spiritually transforming practice before but it's good to practice again and again. Choose a day to intentionally listen to people, without interrupting, without advising, without giving your version or your example or your story. It doesn't mean that you and I will never talk again. We need people who will listen to us as well, but as a practice, listening can be an awakening experience. 

This Isn't the God I Grew Up With Pt.1 (Joyful Journey Listening to Immanuel)

"This Isn't the God I Grew Up With" has been a title in my draft posts for awhile. When I read Joyful Journey Listening to Immanuel (by E. James Wilder, Anna Lang, John Loppnow, and Sungshim Loppnow), I knew I wanted to pair the title with the book review. However, as I wrote, I discovered the thoughts behind the title were too many for one post coupled with a book review. Therefore, I'll start with a short review (so I can copy onto Goodreads easily), and then follow up with how the God (god?) I grew up with would have compromised the practice of Immanuel journaling.

Joyful Journey is a fantastic personal growth / transformational book. My only complaint was the cost for such a slim book but then I found out I could have bought it for a better price directly from Life Model Works (see also the JoyStartsHere website). Life Model Works joins brain science with spiritual life and scripture. This particular book walks the reader through improving awareness that God is with us, God is good, and God is willing to help us. The fourth chapter guides the readers through what to do with the disconnect that comes through trauma and intense emotions. The steps in journaling start in chapter five although I was introduced first to the journaling aspect of Joyful Journey. One more general comment: the authors address both fears within the Christian community ("Are you sure this is scriptural?") and the connections to what we are learning about the brain. Essentially we have a Creator who designed our brains for connection -- "neurologists are even identifying that there is a region in our prefrontal cortex in charge of how we conduct ourselves that is nourished and developed best in this environment of loving relationships. Through these connections we actually become our true selves as God originally intended. We are able to have meaningful relationships and develop our brains and minds for success and abundance through loving connections" (11).

Chapter Six develops Immanuel journaling within community and with community, the practice of "shalom check". Shalom check can help guide the journaler in knowing if this is "the right relationship, at the right time, in the right place, at the right strength and in the right amount" to share with people (52). Also, I find it a good check for knowing those same qualities of God's peace, shalom, for myself and my actions, my journaling. The authors' checklist for shalom include:

Do I feel peacefully calm? (This topic "fits" together correctly now.) 
Am I sensing God's loving presence? (Underlining mine.)
Am I confident that nothing can take me away from God's love? 
Am I portraying my weakness accurately? 
Am I still sensing God's interactive presence in my painful memory? 
Have my joy, peace, and hope increased? 
Has my desire to love and serve others increased? (54).

This checklist would have invalidated the view of God which I grew up with. As I walk through Immanuel journaling, thankfulness fits in with most views of God. Sometimes that thankfulness is more along the lines of "Thank you for not squashing me like a bug today" than along the lines of "Thank you for the the beauty surrounding me" but gratitude is usually a given. The authors do make the connection between gratitude and the control center of the brain on the right hand side (34-45); however, if gratitude is impossible at the moment because our relational circuits (RCs) are off (covered in chapter four), then starting with what God sees in our body and what God hears from us, and stating to ourselves that God is with us (Immanuel), God wants to be with us, is a first step to restoring relational circuits.

Here is where I would have hit a roadblock with the god I grew up with. God did NOT want to be with me when I was a bad girl, an angry child (or adult). The god I grew up with stopped listening to me if I started to whine or complain. Basically, the god I grew up with resembled either Zeus (capricious and wrathful) or Santa Claus ("He knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake!" -- Or you're going to get coal in your Christmas stocking) or  George Burns (Oh, God! 1977 movie with Burns portraying God as an old man who expects actor John Denver to deliver God's message to the human race that they have everything they need and so the human race needs to get on with life).

Those gods are not going to be interested in me hearing the words: My dear child...my beloved...I delight in you...

If those gods saw me, they're going to throttle me; if they hear what I'm thinking, I'm going to get punished and sent to my room for sure. God gives his beloved sleep; therefore, if I don't sleep, I must have done something wrong. Even worse, as this happened to be the conversation among childhood friends this past week (No, I did not bring it up!), one dear friend had been told that God sent her illnesses because she must have done something bad. I wish this were an uncommon thought; however, another writer/teacher was told the same thing when his daughter was born with a defect that took her life at a young age.

Now I know and trust that God who sees me and hears me, loves me and understands me, wants to be with me, wants to do something about what I am going through. It may not be what I think I want in the moment, and I've lived long enough now to know that when I think I am right, I'm not always right (see below in the heart section).

Interestingly, I did an exercise this past week of drawing with my non-dominant hand my earliest thoughts of God. Surprisingly, the pictures were not the same as my pictures of God that I learned as I grew up! My earliest pictures were of a smiling Jesus with arms stretched out or of a picture on my best friend's wall. Two children crossing a bridge with God protecting them which as I write this, I realize that it actually must have been a guardian angel; however, that was my picture of God: protecting me and opening up arms to me.

Now I know and trust that when Jesus says to his disciples: "If you have seen me, you have seen the Father (God)" that is to be my picture of God. The 1 Corinthians 13 passage so often recited at weddings is a picture of God. Those attributes are the attributes of God. Anything less is not God.

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

I so regret as I raised my children that I raised them in the way I was taught, not by my mother necessarily, but by some well-meaning women, who might have said, "God is love" but their version of love was fairly strict. An example that stands out in my mind is children do not get out of bed or out of the playpen just because they are crying. I'm fine with an overtired child crying for a brief time because when he or she is overtired, then no amount of attention is going to stop the crying. In fact, the attention may just keep the child from getting the sleep needed. But, if mom is trying to be perfect to please God, you can imagine what that mother's children will go through. I thought I was so right just as the women who taught me thought they were so right. I wonder now how many children have a picture of a Santa Claus god who "sees them when they're sleeping; he knows when you're awake; he knows if you've been good or bad, so be good for goodness sake!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As a spiritual formational practice, place your bible in front of you opened to 1 Corinthians 13. As you journal, picture God loving you, being patient with and kind to you, not dishonoring you, not easily angered with you. Yes, God does not delight in evil, but you can admit your weaknesses, and God, whether you are at the place of admitting all or not in that place yet, God protects you, teaches you how to trust, how to hope, how to persevere. Where it looks like God has not protected you or your loved ones, God will be with you in that trauma and suffering. I know that this can cause people to either not believe in God or to hate God, but I've never gone that direction because 1) I've had too many times of experiencing the unseeable God who calls me "beloved child" "delightful one" even when, especially when, I fail,  and 2) I can not figure out how we could have a perfectly good world without God making everyone a robot type of person with no choices.

Why Sunday Sermons Might Not Work (aka "Bring Forth Fruit")...or Parent / Teacher Lectures or Employer Evaluations (Leadership and Self-Deception)

An extremely long title for a very thin book with a title guaranteed to repel some readers! Who willingly goes into exploring self-deception?

I read it because my daughter read it for work. If you want your company to be top notch, this book (or something similar) is a must read. I write "something similar" because some reviewers hate the narrative form of the book. If you hate reading example stories, and you can read to-the-point, tell me like it is informational statements  which you then apply to yourself, then go for it. My understanding is that some of the other books are tied to religious organizations and this book is appropriate for non-religious settings.

I read it before heading out to a conference with 200 people and found the concept of "being in the box" toward people useful. If I found myself starting to think ill of another person, I would ask myself if I was in the box toward him or her and why. Some reviewers did not like the "in the box" "out of the box" descriptions. They are difficult to explain. I think in other fields they might be described as treating people as "other" -- other than yourself, someone not of your kind. We don't realize that we are forgetting that we do have our humanity in common, that the other person feels just like you and I would feel if we were receiving that sermon, that lecture, that evaluation, but we don't stop to think about that. We deceive ourselves unconsciously into thinking we have good reasons for acting the way we do, but the other person is being ____________ (fill in the blank, but make it worse than you are or would be).

At our place of employment, we make mistakes and think we need to blame others so we won't feel so badly about our actions. Same for families and communities.  Yet it is better for a business, better for families, better for communities when people treat each other well. Lectures or Sermons are not the way to solve the problem. When lectures and sermons by employers, parents, teachers, pastors don't lead to change, we blame the listener, the student, the worker, the child, the congregant.

What the stories in the book can do that concrete factual statements can not is to give examples that lead the reader to realize "I do that. I pretend to be asleep and let my spouse get up with the child. I yell at my son for squealing the tires when he gets in on time as I asked. I make it look like someone is already sitting in the empty seat next to me so that no one will sit there even though people are looking for seats (because my needs are greater than that stranger's, even though I have no idea what that stranger is going through)."

The section on collusion is also powerful. We hate conflict, but we don't want to think we might be the one in the wrong. We don't want to give our son permission to be out for the evening because he has been irresponsible in his actions lately. We grudgingly give permission with a set time to be in, and if our child is late, it proves our point that he is irresponsible. We want him to be responsible, but at the same time, we want him to get the point that he has been irresponsible. Yet, our actions make him more irresponsible than ever. Oh, the games we play in our brains!

This is why I hesitantly suggest that there is a bit of this going on with Sunday sermons. If a congregation were perfect, there might be no need for a pastor to tell them to be better! I read this John Ortberg quote today: "We spend too much time arguing about Christianity and not enough time marveling at Jesus." This probably deserves a post of its own, but I combined the review of the book  (thoroughly secular) with an issue I see in Sunday sermons: with a bit of rephrasing (of perhaps a Dallas Willard quote), Sundays tend to be filled with too much "God is good. You're really not doing well at all. Try harder, and go tell someone about Jesus" rather than marveling at Jesus and learning to do what he did: love God and love others. Go to weddings and drink the wine. Eat with people who are different from you. See them as people with feelings like your feelings. Listen to them like you like to be listened to. Know that you're not going to be humiliated by God who loves you. As we learn to trust that Someone holds us, we also learn to love and not humiliate others.

Lest you think the book is all warm fuzzies, no one who does something wrong ever gets those issues addressed. That is not the case at all. It's about learning how to address those wrongs and still treating another person as a human being who is like yourself. There's a lot more in this short book such as being in a box a long time with another person, so much so that you can't even remember when you first started blaming them for everything that goes wrong. People on both sides of a conflict may be "in the box" with one another (how fun is that).

I bought the book; I give it a five.

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

We now know that children think differently from adults but feel the same emotions.  I wish I had had access to a book like this when I was raising my children. When talking with children (or anyone for that matter), I know have to ask myself two questions: Would I like to be talked to the way I just talked to that person (or was going to talk to them)? When I have the feeling part of it sorted out, then I also need to think about the personality of the person to whom I'm talking. With adults who we have not known for a long time, this may take some time; however, with children, if we start from birth, we have some time to learn a child's personality and what he or she responds to.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I found the "in the box" illustrations very helpful in this book. When bad characteristics came into my head about a person, it was a great trigger for me to think, "Am I in the box toward this person?" "Why?" "Is he or she really like that?" "Did I think those thoughts about this person before this incident?" "What prompted these thoughts in my head?" "Oh, maybe it's because I'm hoping this friend will fill a need that can not be filled at this particular time. That doesn't make them a bad person." Etc. The "in the box" concept has continued to be a transforming one.

Moving (The Address by Fiona Davis)

Lovely book cover, sad story that ends well for at least one of the characters (that for my friend who hates sad endings). This is next month's book for discussion at my local library. It's a quick read in spite of the dual time line (1880s/1980s) which in the words of one reviewer "are hard to escape these days." The historical aspect is interesting -- the Dakota New York apartment house where, if it doesn't ring a bell, John Lennon was shot. The other historical aspect and the one that makes this book sad is the portion of the story involving the asylums where women were sent when they were deemed crazy. At a different time, I might have been more energetic about reading this story, but this is the third book in a row where I have been reading about the horrible situations women have been placed in and forced to go through. Nellie Bly's cameo appearance in this story is definitely a highlight. If you get ahold of the book and you have the time, it's worth reading. It's a good choice for a book discussion group, and there were a couple of plot twists: one reasonable, one...eh, maybe. I'm ready to go back to my health and education book reading for awhile, but don't hesitate to recommend a fictional book to me. Just don't make it a sad one for awhile!

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

I'm going to finish out this section with the last 3 tips on listening gleaned from a 2014 blog piece by Janice Taylor. With the hearts portion of my blog (the mom/grandma portion), I'd say my mom gave her children good advice. Although she applied it to listening to sons, it's more appropriate and less gender specific to apply it to all children, "When a child speaks, stop what you are doing to listen." She applied it to boys feeling that they spoke less. Sometimes that's true and sometimes not. Basically, if I'm with a child (or adult) who rarely speaks up, if he or she starts talking, it would be good to stop and listen! This is a practice I did not excel at.

In the area of good practices, I finish with the last three tips as promised above.

7. Listen rather than judging. This works for a connection with the book. One, several times, characters were not listened to, and two,  some major misjudgments occur.

8. Listen rather than finishing the speaker's sentence.

9. Listen rather than sharing every single story from your own life that might relate closely or loosely to what the speaker is saying.

Surviving (The Legacy Series: Legacy, Prodigy, Champion by Marie Lu)

The first book in this series, Legacy, is not shown here because it was my daughter's book. She thought I stole borrowed it from her when I reviewed it last week. (See that review here.) However, I did not take the book home with me; thus, I only have these last two in the series which I checked out from the library. Notice the books are from the Teen section, and know also that the books have nothing to do with London -- that's just my morning coffee cup. The series takes place in the United States (and I realized this morning that I do not have a US coffee cup -- hint to family and friends).

Why did Lu (or her publishers) title this series the Legacy series? Really, the first book mainly involves the prodigy character(s). But, can you imagine a series titled the Prodigy series? It sounds a bit elitist, which the prodigy character, June, is. We can consider Day as the anti-prodigy character who is a prodigy that didn't make the cut but survives anyway (not a plot spoiler).

This series ranks ahead of the average teen series because of what Lu brings to the table of literature. Sure, it's typical teen fare: parents dead, lots of violence and fighting to survive, love interests (will she go with _______ or with ________ when you know all along that she's meant to be with ____).

However, though it irks me to have dead good adults in teen fiction, I do think the legacy that June and Day have involves parents and siblings who strive for good, in fact, gave their lives up fighting evil. Lu also employs symbolism and allusion, trademarks of good literature. Take the names of the main characters: June and Day -- season and time of the most light, at least in the northern hemisphere where this story takes place. Then, the kiss in Prodigy is so strong of an allusion, if you don't see it, you have some missing pieces in your literary background. I would rate Prodigy  as the strongest of the three books with a 4 star rating.

As for Champion, the last in the series, one can not just stop at Prodigy! I surmise my issue with Champion is that it moves beyond my originally agreeing with a Commonsense review stating that Legacy was for readers 12 and up. I will say, though, that when Lu brings in the theme of who we become, what shapes us, then she leads us into a story much more than the average teen fiction.

"How had he slowly twisted into the Elector who created such a dark nation? What path had he chosen to follow?" (Champion 263).

We know the legacy of three characters and the choices they make along the way which lead them into the people they become. We also see the choices of a few other characters and what led to their rise or fall. In this respect, I like the story. I'm still giving it 3 stars, but who doesn't finish a series?! Three stars won't stop someone from finishing to see what the end holds. And, to Lu's credit, she does go for a more complex ending. I do intend to read more of her novels.

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

Writing stories. The deeper aspects of the Legacy series are what elevates this series: the choices that characters make, who they are and who they become. Too often, I saw students from first grade to high school think their normal everyday lives were not as exciting as the latest action movie they happened to watch. I made it my goal to encourage them to see that their daily lives had value in story form. A couple of weeks ago I gave my granddaughters a file of their dad's art work and written work. One of their favorite pieces was a story that he wrote about his dad, their grandpa. The story was loved by Grandpa as well. It's unusual for someone not to want to be a hero (or perhaps "heroic" would be a better word), but heroes don't happen overnight. Small daily actions grow heroes. Daily life, daily choices matter. June and Day, the characters in these books, have flaws, make mistakes. Sometimes our mistakes provide comic relief in our stories and sometimes they provide transparency and reality, but our mistakes need not hold us back from becoming people who in the midst of surviving also grow and thrive in goodness.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm into these practices on listening since a friend sent me nine "DO NOTs of an Active Listener" from a 2014 blog of Janice Taylor's. I wish I could figure out how to turn them into DOs except, basically, the DO part of each one is "Just listen." 😌

4. DO NOT interrupt; do not cut the speaker [your child, your student, your friend, your ___?] off mid-sentence. Allow him/her to finish the thought. Just listen.
5. DO NOT plan your responses as the speaker is speaking. Just listen.
6. DO NOT give advice unless specifically asked for it. Just listen. 

Certainly this book series is an opportunity to think about social justice as well. How one goes about social justice is a good topic of discussion or of listening: to God, to others, before judging, jumping to conclusions and finding oneself more of a hindrance than a help.

The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood and Altared by Claire and Eli

The Handmaid's Tale -- Let's just get the caveat out of the way. There's sex in this book. Not just sex but distorted, destructive sex. So, why did I read this book? Well, I didn't know this about the book when I started. However, I had seen this title around for many years. It came out in 1986, and I, for some odd reason, thought it had to do with geishas. Yet, this April I was on vacation, and my daughter had the book on her bookshelves. She said that it was a dystopian novel (and she knows I read dystopian novels). Specifically, it's a dystopian satire. The quote by Jonathan Swift's A Modest Proposal gives us one clue that this is the case. An interview with Margaret Atwood led me to read the book. In the interview, Atwood said that none of the horrors in this book have been dreamed up. While they have not happened in one place at one time, they have happened or are happening somewhere in the world. Here from an article in 2012, Atwood comments:

"I made a rule for myself: I would not include anything that human beings had not already done in some other place or time, or for which the technology did not already exist. I did not wish to be accused of dark, twisted inventions, or of misrepresenting the human potential for deplorable behaviour. The group-activated hangings, the tearing apart of human beings, the clothing specific to castes and classes, the forced childbearing and the appropriation of the results, the children stolen by regimes and placed for upbringing with high-ranking officials, the forbidding of literacy, the denial of property rights: all had precedents, and many were to be found not in other cultures and religions, but within western society, and within the "Christian" tradition, itself. (I enclose "Christian" in quotation marks, since I believe that much of the church's behaviour and doctrine during its two-millennia-long existence as a social and political organisation would have been abhorrent to the person after whom it is named.)

"The Handmaid's Tale has often been called a 'feminist dystopia', but that term is not strictly accurate. In a feminist dystopia pure and simple, all of the men would have greater rights than all of the women. It would be two-layered in structure: top layer men, bottom layer women. But Gilead is the usual kind of dictatorship: shaped like a pyramid, with the powerful of both sexes at the apex, the men generally outranking the women at the same level; then descending levels of power and status with men and women in each, all the way down to the bottom, where the unmarried men must serve in the ranks before being awarded an Econowife." For the full article go here. 

Please note: The situations in this book are happening or have happened! Secondly, Atwood places the word "Christian" in quotation marks because she thinks what has been done in Christ's name would have been abhorrent to Christ. There are Christ-followers in this book who die for trying to prevent the activities in this society. Thirdly, while feminists have embraced this book, for readers to miss the satire against repressive regimes is to limit the impact of the story. 

Here I get to whether satire has the same value visually in a televised show. I say no. Atwood's introduction in the book includes a quote from A Modest Proposal, and I include here the start of Swift's proposal: 

"I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee or a ragout."

Swift continues on with how to the poor Irish. Can you imagine (or maybe you can; I think it would be horrible) watching a show of someone eating a one-year-old child? 

For me, turning The Handmaid's Tale into a commercial, entertaining commodity strips the book of all of its power, all that the satire was fighting against. This is even more true given that the series is continuing to stray from the original story. 

As I turn to the other book, a book written by two Christ-followers, Altared, the question must arise in some minds: why would I couple this non-fiction book with Atwood's? I do so because Claire and Eli (no last names on purpose) offer, in the words of one reviewer: "A much needed wake-up call -- a plea for a paradigm shift in the way we think of love, marriage, and ourselves as followers of Jesus." 

Also, this comment "real love has little do with looking for Mr. or Ms. Right" hits at the core theme of this book. The body of Christ, as seen in our church institutions, has bought into the culture's view of love, or I might say, Dean Martin's view: "You got to get yourself somebody because you're nobody until somebody loves you" and Dean is definitely talking about lower case 's' here. Yes, this includes the church who makes singles feel less than they are because they are not one half of a couple. Instead of a top priority of getting to the altar (hence the title Altared), Claire and Eli invite the reader to make love for God and love for one's neighbor the greatest priority. 

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

Books, banned books: what do you let your children read? A large number of books that I have taught in my classes were banned at one time or another: Uncle Tom's Cabin, Huckleberry Finn, Animal Farm, Brave New World...I propose (not a modest proposal and not a satirical one) that if you son or daughter wants to read a book that you let them and also do the following: 

1) Read the book at the same time as your child is reading it. For some offspring, nothing says "uncool" like mom or dad reading a book he or she wants to read. 

2) Read the book and discuss, as in let your son or daughter do the talking and be a listener. What kind of questions could you ask? "What did you appreciate about the book?" "Why do you think people want to read this book?" "What do you wish I would understand or get about this story?" 

Finally, in this section, as a former literature teacher, I would like to add that not all books you've been told are "bad" are actually bad. Two brief illustrations. A colleague and I were pulled into the principal's office for teaching A Tale of Two Cities because "it was about rape". For the life of us, we could not figure out what we were being called on the carpet for. Finally, we reminded each other that the peasant woman probably was raped, but this was Dickens, for heaven's sake, no graphic details at all. Then, come to find out, a commentary at the back of the particular book we were reading said the entire book was about the "rape of women through all ages". I think the commentator missed the point of the book; however, that being said, the story itself did not include any rape scenes. Then, one of my all time favorite books was brought into question. Brave New World. A story way ahead of its time when Huxley wrote it. A highly moral story. A story were readers are told that everyone is encouraged to have sex with everyone but the only "graphic" illustration of this is when Lenina drops her zippicamiknicks on the floor, and my students were as disgusted by this as John was horrified. Interestingly, many of the same parents complaining about the book had high schoolers who had already seen (and perhaps had laughed with them) when Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds run into each other in the nude in The Proposal. A critique of this movie is not my point; the fact that my students had seen much more nudity on the screen than is in Brave New World is my point. 

With no apologies for making this blog post even longer, I include a paragraph from an article"Brave New World (is Here!) From a New York Post 2012 article:

If Orwell’s “1984” is a cautionary tale about what we in the capitalist West largely avoided, Aldous Huxley’s “Brave New World” is largely about what we got — a consumerist, post-God happyland in which people readily stave off aging, jet away on exotic vacations and procreate via test tubes. They have access to “Feelies” similar to IMAX 3-D movies, no-strings-attached sex, anti-anxiety pills and abortion on demand. They also venerate a dead high-tech genius, saying “Ford help him” in honor of Henry Ford just as today we practically murmur “In Jobs We Trust.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spiritual practice -- listening -- 3 ideas from a blog by Janice Taylor, 2014, quoted in a Salem Alliance Church 2018 Conference flyer: 

1. DO NOT allow your brain to race ahead of your lips! We speak at about 100 to 150 words per minute, but we think at 250 to 500. Just listen. 

2. DO NOT anticipate what will be said. Just listen. 

3. DO NOT be distracted by the people or things around you. Keep your eyes focused on the speaker. Just listen. 

Training (Solomon's Oak by Jo-Ann Mapson)

Once upon a time, after being heartbreakingly laid off, I mentioned to a friend that I wanted to review books and connect each book with an -ing word (swimming, walking, sleeping, etc.). "Training" works for this book, but so does "grieving", and both of those indirectly. "Living" describes the contents of this novel, but "living" is one of those generalized words that works for just about any story.

Surprisingly, this is the February meeting choice for our local library book discussion group. While the setting will be known to all of the members (since it is set in our own county and the next county over), the author mentions the faith of the dead husband early on. He had built a chapel on the property where he would go to pray. This automatically screams out "Christian romance novel" to the majority of the members of the book club and some may not even read to the end. Those same members would be wrong. Is that a plot spoiler? Mapson treats everyone kindly in this novel: believer and non-believer alike, so her target audience is obviously not going to be on the far ends of the religious/not religious spectrum.

Left with readers in the middle, those looking for classic symbolism are going to fall away. Solomon's  Oak fits the definition from Oxford Living Dictionary (online): "A fictitious prose narrative of book length, typically representing character and action with some degree of realism." Solomon's Oak is a story with a slightly typical ending in one area but not in two other areas (which I can not mention without spoiling the ending).

Is the book worth checking out of the library and reading? Definitely (for reasons I will mention below). Is it worth buying? Hmmm, that depends on what you want to remember from the book after you are done reading it which brings me to "training."

Mapson's realism comes in describing the training of her dogs (and even in some respects, her horses). The descriptions of training might be a bit much for some readers. I wouldn't say it was overdone, and I liked the variety of approaches she took with her dogs. I might still question her foster son's demonstration of building a relationship in two hours with a snapping, snorting four-year-old mare, but it fits the storyline. As Mapson writes in the story: "It's my belief that animals can help a human being travel to the wounds of childhood. The best part is, once you go there, you can fix things. Get on with life."

The animals in the story are as much a part of the story as the human beings. The main character, Glory, fosters a teenager not doing well in the county social system. The teenager, Juniper, connects with one of the dogs. Part of Juniper's issues involves a mystery, just enough for those of us who don't read mysteries. Maybe not enough of a mystery for readers of that genre.

"Fostering" could have been another word along with "grieving." The English assignment written by Juniper on Christmas is one part of this novel that makes it a definitely-read-this novel. All of the English assignments written by Juniper are as academically bad to read as you would expect from a girl who hates school (with good reason), but the essay on Christmas is eye-opening.

Grieving is what both the teenager and Glory and Joseph are doing. Yes, there's a man and there's a romance, but the characters work well in the story.

"Wedding" is another -ing word but not in the same category. Mapson's attention to detail may annoy some readers who just want to get on with the story. I think each part is described well, including another -ing word: homeschooling -- homeschooling via the John Holt method. Holt would have loved the description as it is a perfect example of what he believed in.

Annoyances for me?
Mild -- Page 72 when Glory and her sister Halle (I could have included "sibling" as a word as well) are discussing their mom who is sixty-two years old as if that is old. Granted the mom has inflammatory arthritis, but still sixty-two is not ancient!
More than mild -- Mapson starts off great with an omniscient viewpoint (something that seems to have fallen by the wayside in recent years), and then she falls into the same modern flaw I see often these days. Let's change the narrator by titling the chapter with the character's name. Why not learn how to write in the omniscient view all the way through the novel?

On Goodreads, I won't be giving it 5 stars because I reserve that for books I buy, but "Juniper's" essay on Christmas and the details on activities that could be learned within these pages along with a good story push it from 3 (my original thoughts when I started the book) to a 4.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Since my blog introduction mentions slow track spiritual formation, my take away from this book: "training" when it is done well is not a bad word. We accept training for sports or sporting events. We accept the idea of training for animals, but somehow the idea of training ourselves in the area of spiritual formation seems so unspiritual as if training is too mechanical and lacks mystery. It helps me to think of training as helping my body learn good habits, in this case, good habits of coming to God in relational ways and learning good habits of being kind and patient and forgiving to others so that I can love them as Jesus tells me to love them.

A take away from the book: training myself to listen and not assume what I think is cheery (in the book for Juniper, Christmas) will be cheery to someone else, training myself to look and listen because one dog is not like every other, one human being is not like every other, one person's grief is not like another person's grief.

Day 2 -- Journey on This Second Day of Advent

Every year our Advent tradition includes the journey of our holy family from the back of the house to "Bethlehem" -- our fireplace mantle. This year our youngest granddaughter is using this tradition as the focus of her speech in her second grade classroom so she started Joseph, Mary, and the camel (no donkey) on their journey and took pictures to accompany her speech.

In general, their journey is without incident unless they take a fall (staged here for benefit of a picture) or they are beset by monsters (also known as the dog).

That's Joseph falling. Joseph's journey could not have been planned even in his wildest dreams. A carpenter, he was betrothed to a young woman who he clearly cared enough for that even without an angel's intervention he would not put a scarlet letter 'A' on her and make her a public spectacle. After the angel awakens Joseph and tells him to "Fear not," he gladly takes Mary as his wife, but still has to deal with the government. He gets to travel 35 miles from Nazareth in Galilee to Bethlehem in Judaea with his pregnant wife who is due to give birth just so he can pay taxes in his family's hometown.

On top of those circumstances, everyone else from Bethlehem is also traveling home and the inns are full. So Mary and Joseph get to have their firstborn in with the animals. Not such an auspicious beginning; however, shepherds come visiting because angels have told them that their Saviour has been born. Even Mary is as quiet as her husband after this visit.

The family gets about 2 years of peace and then Magi come to visit them followed by the news that Herod is out to get them. Once again, Joseph is visited by the angel of the Lord, and once again, Joseph finds himself on the road, fleeing to Egypt with the young child Jesus and his mother Mary.

Then comes the news that Herod is dead and they can return to Israel, but they can not return to Judaea because Herod's equally horrible son reigns there. They wind up in Nazareth of Galilee.

It's quite a journey for this family. What journey are you on? I have had a number of journeys in the past few years. Some of those journeys have been journeys of celebration. Yesterday I attended a delightful bridal shower for a former student. She is embarking on a journey of joy, but even those journeys need preparation. However, that is an advent word for another day.

More often than not these days, I know of more journeys like Joseph and Mary's -- journeys filled with ups and downs. I have learned that we have our own ways of dealing with these journeys.

Joseph is a quiet man who obviously cares for his family. When at 12 years of age, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph travel with the extended family to the feast in Jerusalem, and Jesus stays behind, it is Mary who says, "Son, why have you dealt this way with us? Your father and I have been in deep sorrow as we looked for you."

When Mary gets visited  by an angel, she asks questions and launches into a song of praise. Mary goes visiting her cousin. Mary talks. Both Mary and Joseph are people of action, but one seems a bit more extroverted than the other.

I am a borderline introvert. (Does that also make me a borderline extrovert?) I can handle large and small gatherings and like Mary, I don't mind speaking up. Yet, I get my energy from times of quiet. My husband does not like crowds, and he would never be on social media; however, to my surprise, he gets his energy from being with people (just one or two at a time). I am learning to listen to the stories of the journeys of others and not jump in so quickly with "helpful suggestions." Love and listening, I am finding, are always welcome to those on a journey.

I also love this from church service yesterday:
"Wondrous are you, Holy One of Blessing,
All you create is a sign of hope for our journey..." 

Fourth Day of Advent: Listen

Not only did I struggle to find an image for today's AdventWord "listen", I also struggled to write an upbeat encouraging Christmas-y ("Sleigh bells ring, are you listening?") blog. Then, the picture I took (the second one below) when posted shows mostly the wall in the post! So, for purposes of posting, I am adding the picture directly below: Grandpa listening to his granddaughter while the youngest one listens to both.

We struggle to listen and be plugged in -- to God, to each other. Perhaps there are too many voices and too many noises for us to hear the Lord God's still, small (small in sound, quiet) voice, a powerful voice gentle and meek. Not like a baby's voice, as precious as the Christmas image of Jesus as a baby is. Yet when we quiet ourselves, we can hear Him, and in hearing Him, we can then hear the lonely, the lost, the hurting. We can hear Him say:

"But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you....Love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and you shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil. Be ye merciful, as your Father also is merciful" (portions from Luke 6:27-36 -- the whole passage is Jesus' amazing argument as to why we are called to love).

My friend in the picture above listened not only to this dear man play the piano in a shopping mall, but also listened as he told us his story. She brought a moment of joy to his lonely life. Her presence was a gift which said to him, "You are loved."

As we go about shopping during this Advent season, might we consider that the gift of listening is truly one that says, "You are loved."