Opting Out of Resolutions; Opting In to Encouragement

If you have broken any of your resolutions made a mere 18 days ago, you are not alone. Some have even taken to tweeting their failures. Failures. That's my issue with resolutions. Either you accomplish them or you fail. I've opted out of resolution making for a number of years now, but it's only this year that I have replaced resolution making with something else: Keeping track, hopefully on paper, of what went well each day and where I need new strategies. If I don't write it down, then I'm at least practicing thinking about these two questions:

1) What went well today?
2) Where do I need new strategies?

Resolutions don't have solutions. I know: the sentence sounds cheesy and trite, but it helps me remember what I'm looking for: solutions, not failure. Failure needs to be an option. Yes, many of us have heard the famous quote: "Failure is not an option," but the person saying that had a great deal of practice (read: failures) before the day arrived when the practice boiled down to a moment in time when it was important not to fail.

A resolution that makes its way onto the top ten resolutions list every year is "Stop Smoking." It's a great resolution, but some folks don't realize the average smoker quits 8 to 10 times before succeeding. If we looked at resolutions in the same light as we would an inventor or a scientist, we would expect a great deal of failed attempts. Like a scientist, I have a vision of what I want to see happen and I am encouraging myself in that goal, that vision, by continuing what is leading me closer and considering how I can change what went awry by practicing a new strategy. This is what that looked like in my life the first day I tried it.

You might not have any problem calling people, or making your bed, or picking up clothes, but I've never liked using the telephone. Texting was God's gift to me! Maybe you made it an hour without smoking...or gossiping...or eating something unhealthy. Maybe you got out of bed 5 minutes earlier than the day before or gave your son or daughter your undivided attention. Maybe you took the time to be grateful or kind or patient. Did you look up and notice something beautiful outside your window? Did you attempt to smile at the barista? (Please smile at the barista. My daughter is one.) Whatever you did well, no matter how small, it was a step in the right direction.

Then, get creative about strategies for what didn't go the way you had hoped or planned. As it turned out, keeping a running list of actions to do works for me. It helps if I gather up all that I need to do on the computer and wait to do them later in the day. When I start off my day with social media, the rest of my day runs amuck. The next step for me is to make list-making a habit. I know it works for me; I'm just not in the habit of doing it.

As mentioned in my last blog post, I trust that people can change -- with encouragement, practicing falling down and getting back up, one day at a time, one step at a time. 

Changes, Visible and Not So Visible

I didn't get far in my return to blogging...some things don't seem to change, but there is hope. When I read what I posted two years ago on January 11, 2014 , I almost could have just put up the same posting. Almost. This is what my desk looks like now. Different room, a whole lot less clutter.

Just so you can see the difference, here is what it looked like two years ago:

Sometimes change is my life is highly visible and good like the differences between these two pictures (or between the color of my hair in 2014 and the color now)! Much of the time the change that I see may not be something I want as the two past years have had many times of sadness. The change that I do want is often slow and not obvious, such as the change necessary to accomplish my number one goal in 2014: to be more like Jesus than the previous year. The challenge with this type of goal is that the more I know of Jesus, the more aware I am of how far I fall short. Nevertheless, if I revisit the same writing prompts I used on 1/11/14, I would still make #1 the same, but perhaps with a change in wording.

#1 -- My number one goal this year is to live my life the way Jesus would live my life if He were I.

I also at that time digressed to answer some January writing prompts from Pinterest. I digress again as I revisit those prompts.

#2 -- I continue to be most grateful for Jesus in my life, especially in the midst of sadness or chaos or turmoil. I am practicing how to be gracious, kind, and loving in those circumstances. I am also grateful for a group with those same goals, a cohort group that I spent two years studying with. In 2014 I included our first picture together from October 2013. Here I include our last time together last June 2015.

#3 -- Am I content? Yes, even more so with what I have or don't have materially, but not so content that I don't need to continue practice becoming kind, growing in patience and gentleness, nurturing encouragement, following after Christ.
#4 -- Best memory of last year? Definitely being with the crazy loving people pictured above, but also being with the crazy loving siblings pictured below.

#5 -- Last major accomplishment? Two years of monthly postings and discussions on Blackboard, 4 semesters of practices, 8 papers, 1 major project, I didn't even count the number of books read -- graduating in my International Renovare program was a major accomplishment.
#6 -- I listed what possessions I could not live without, and I made a joke about liking to be clothed. I'm surprised none of my friends or former students called me out on that one. I CAN live without my pictures, but I would be the poorer for it. I do like pictures, some of which can be replaced thanks to technology these days. My books. I have a lot of books. A LOT. Again, I can live without them, but I can't replace the notes I've made in some of those books. Still, there is something to be said for discovering anew old thoughts.
#7 -- Can people change? I still trust that people can change.
#8 -- Last good thing I ate? My homemade tamales. One of these days, I may share the recipe. How is that spiritual formation? Incarnational. Daily life with Jesus. :D
#9 -- Current favorite snack? I still like carrot sticks, but I currently am also snacking on dates.
#10 -- What made me smile on the 10th day of January? Definitely my granddaughters. They came over for Sunday dinner, and we always play family games after dinner.
#11 -- My favorite accessory? I still do not accessorize and even the hat I had in the original post is now long gone.

And, now since today is actually the 14th day of January, I include prompts 12, 13, and 14.
#12 -- What is making me mad? Uh, nothing is making me mad. This is causing me to wonder if I am ever mad when I write.
#13 -- What did I have for dinner...well, since it's morning, I can't answer that. In fact, I'm not sure what we're having for dinner tonight unless I go to the grocery store.
#14 -- What did you get done? I'm going to get this blog post done! And, I'm going to practice just writing it without worrying about its reception. I'm taking a Sabbath from the opinions of others. I just started a new Priscilla Shirer study, Breathe. I'll close with some paragraphs from that study. (Ha! I like the element of surprise to myself as I write: I start with a plan but then I'm surprised at where I end.)

Shirer quotes from Heschel's book: The Sabbath: Its Meaning for Modern Man:
"The words: 'On the seventh day God finished His work' (Genesis 2:2), seem to be a puzzle...We would surely expect the Bible to tell us that on the sixth day God finished His work. Obviously, the ancient rabbis concluded, there was an act of creation on the seventh day. Just as heaven and earth were created in six days, menulza was created on Sabbath. After six days of creation -- what did the universe still lack? Menuha. Came the Sabbath, came menuha, and the universe was complete."

"Menuha, which we usually render 'rest' means here much more than withdrawal from labor and exertion, more than freedom from toil, strain or activity of any kind. Menuha is not a negative concept but something real and intrinsically positive. This must have been the view of the ancient rabbis if they believed that it took a special act of creation to bring it into being, that the universe would be incomplete without it. 'What was created on the seventh day? Tranquility, serenity, peace, and repose.'"

Later Shirer will quote Brad Lomenick as she encourages her readers to ponder where margin, the type of margin brought about by a positive meaning of Sabbath, might bring about tranquillity, serenity, peace, and repose. This is what I'm contemplating this first month of the new year.

Shalom.