Moving On (Miller's Valley by Anne Quindlen)

Nothing like walking through reviews of a book and realizing that I am going to be one of the few who rate it with 3 stars. Three stars: I liked it. It was fine. There's the issue, isn't it? We don't like to receive a 'C' grade, an average grade. We don't like to be "fine" or "nice." I can't really label the book as "nice" as once again this summer I've just finished a sad book (with somewhat of a "happy" ending, I guess). I am desperate to move on to something witty and humorous and happy. However, I didn't choose this book (it was a book discussion group choice for the month of July-August), and moving on from sad books is not why I chose the title "Moving On" for this post.

The people of Miller's Valley must move out and move on because their town is going to be covered in water; it will be a "drowned town". This is not a plot spoiler as we learn this immediately in the novel.

Still, I could have chosen a variety of themes to focus on from Quindlen's novel: eminent domain, 1960s and Vietnam (or any war era sending back soldiers into civilian life), family relationships, friendship, pro-life/pro-choice/sex, growing up / growing old, loneliness, identity and home.

All those themes touch my life in one way or the other, but I keep coming back to what it means to "move on." When does moving on help us grow and thrive, and when is moving on equivalent to cutting ourselves off from what matters and/or simply running away? When does someone else's moving on become something we have to deal with, get through, and get over?

If a reader is willing to look into that theme running throughout Miller's Valley and throughout the lives of its characters, then she or he will have lots to think about in this "quiet" book (a number of reviewers who rated this book three stars were wishing they had paid attention to the "quiet" label -- this means the story may move a bit slower than one would like).

The book is an excellent choice for discussion, but I'm not purchasing the book for my own shelves.

💕💕💕💕 One of the most important actions we can take with our children (and with ourselves) is to help them build up friendships that will last a lifetime. Some childhood friendships will fall by the wayside -- oh! what a great analogy I've fallen into! Some friendships will fall on footpaths where the busy birds of this life will eat them up. If the friendships seem like good ones, pick up the seeds and move them to a place where they can be nurtured. Some friendships fall  among the rocks. Make sure that not all of your children's friendships and your own friendships stay in the rock or acquaintance region. Some friendships will fall among the weeds. Those are the tough calls to make when it comes to friendships. To have friendships among the good soil, those are friendships that last a lifetime and in rain and shine, help us to thrive and grow. Too often I've either moved on from friendship to friendship or planted friendships everywhere without making sure that I have deep friendships.

--------------Matthew, Mark, Luke, and Acts in the New Testament all write of "shaking the dust off of   [one's] feet." Words for moving on. My comments here address whether we read those stories in light of the reality that God is Love (see my ongoing blog post about this in this link here.  ) or if we read it as if God were made in our own image and if we shake off dust, then we either hate you or can't stand you or feel something other than God love for you. What if we look at "shaking of the dust" as moving on and moving past so that we can thrive and grow, so that we are not continually dragged down into the taking any number of unhelpful actions: being someone's rescuer and getting in the way of the Holy Spirit; becoming morose and stuck in the past; getting angry and becoming depressed about the past, unable to hear the goodness to which God is inviting us...

What if "shaking off the dust", "moving on", means we are invited to move away from bitterness, wrath, malice, evil words -- to put them off, to shake them off -- and to put on, move toward kindness compassion, and forgiveness? It may mean that moving on and away from someone or something is healing for our souls...and may lead to healing for theirs as well.

What if "shaking off the dust" means a moving on which is also helpful to the person or people from whom we are moving on or moving past? If the person can not hear and feel our love, can not hear and feel that the kingdom of God has come near to them, do we trust God in perfect love to send someone else? Just because we need to shake the dust off of our feet does not mean that God has abandoned the people. Truly, if these actions of shaking off the dust in protest as a testimony does not change any minds, if after time and time again, a person chooses to walk away from the freedom offered in Jesus, in God, in Love with a capital 'L', then the person gets to have what he or she wants and that is a life outside of the kingdom of God. That is sad, but the judgment does not come from us. Shaking dust off of our feet does not make us superior. It is merely an action done in love directed by God who is Love because we who are moving on are not the ones to carry the message of love there. We need to discontinue reading the words of Jesus as though he is saying them with hate and instead read them as a parent who deeply loves his children. "And you, Capernum, [think, dear children, about this] will this get you to heaven? No, you will go down to Hades [Sheol, a place of darkness, a place of death, a place where nothing grows or thrives; this is not what I want for you; change your mind, dear children, for I love you with an unfailing love].

**********I continue to think on this topic of moving on, shaking the dust off my feet. This question comes to mind. When do I move on and when do I stay put? It might have to do with what leads me toward  God and which leads me away from God. It probably has a lot to do with what is most helpful for both the one who is not listening and to me as well. Which "moving on" "shaking the dust off" move me toward God and away from anything that puts me in the place only God can hold or takes me away from anything I idolize? Which "moving on" or "shaking the dust off" takes me farther away from God's invitation to me (think of Jonah and Ninevah)? 

Eating and Living (The Blue Zones Solution by Dan Buettner)

Do I post this with my 52 Books in 52 Weeks Challenge type of posts or with my siblings blog on health? The competitive side of me (not that 52 in 52 is a competition...haha) won out, but I will copy this into our family health blog as well (found here).

Photography is not my strength so apologies ahead of time. This mushroom soup is actually excellent. It did not come from the recipes in The Blue Zones Solution but I have been inspired by Dan Buettner's research into the Blue Zones ever since I first read his articles for National Geographic.

This book goes beyond those National Geographic articles which covered how people in Blue Zones ate and lived. Blue Zones are those areas of the world where the most centenarians live. In The Blue Zones Solution, Buettner revisits those zones in Greece, Japan, Italy, Costa Rica, and, yes, even the United States. In Part Two of the book, his team learned from Finland how to teach three areas of the United States how to create their own Blue Zones. In Part Three, Buettner discusses making a Blue Zone a personal choice, followed by Part Four, the recipes.

Since I've been reading a number of other health books with food protocols in them (Genius Foods, The End of Alzheimer's, and The Plant Paradox), I had comparisons to make. There are some situations that most writing healing food books seem to agree upon: the Standard American Diet is SAD, not just an acronym, but truly 😢, and sugar is not good for us. (See my post on that here.)

However, there are some differences. Legumes. Centenarians eat them, no question about that. And, they do eat bread, just not ones with the kind of grains in the typical SAD meal plan. Legumes and grains are not high on the list of some of these other protocols. That being said, the books previously mentioned are fighting back against some specific diseases (Alzheimer's, inflammations of many types).

I find reading a combination of these healing food protocols and paying attention to one's own body and medical tests are a good start to finding a healing protocol designed for oneself.

The Blue Zones Solution also addresses lifestyles of centenarians, not just healing foods, but a thriving lifestyle, this and the recipes make the book worth buying.

Buettner's Mushroom Stew includes white wine, soy sauce, and rice -- all of which are not healing for my Celiac's, thyroid, sky high iron, or potential for Alzheimer's so I offer my version which I made the day before yesterday and thought tasted quite good! It made just two servings (1 for the day before and 1 for yesterday).

Deborah's AIP  (Autoimmune Protocol) Mushroom Soup
(I use food that has not been sprayed with chemicals, etc.: truly organic in practice, not just on the label)

In a saucepan, cover the following with water:
2 small stalks of celery, sliced thin (I included the leafy parts which I took out before eating)
2 carrots, sliced thin
3 cloves of garlic, chopped or diced
5-6 dried shiitake mushrooms
1/2 onion, diced

I simmered this until the vegetables were soft. The dried mushrooms remained a bit chewy when I was ready to eat so when I...

Blend about 3 ladles and include all of the mushrooms until smooth. NOTE: I learned to hold a towel over the top of the blender when I blend something hot. This is supposed to prevent the top from flying off from the heat. I have not had any flying top disasters.

Put the blended soup into the rest of the soup and simmer to thicken it up. I started grabbing spices, salt, and pepper which I thought were AIP (I didn't double check.) I just dashed them in. Mediterranean salt, pepper, curry, turmeric, and dill weed.

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Blue Zone ideas for raising children: Besides being mindful about what one eats, having an optimal circadian rhythm for sleep and bedrooms that are cool, quiet, and dark, are beneficial for health. Working in the yard, planting a garden all practices for thriving. Creating a group of mutually committed friends, not just at a stage of life, but people with whom you will be young with and grow old with, is something that people do who live in Blue Zones.

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Interesting that a spiritual practice is fasting. It turns out that almost every healing protocol involves a form of fasting. NOT starving as in harmful practices. But, practices such as making one's last meal of the day be at least 3 hours before bedtime. In today's fast paced busy world, we're often grabbing food at 9 pm and then sending the children to bed. The Creator who made our bodies apparently knows our bodies need to relax at a meal and then give our bodies time to digest it before heading off into some good sleep. 

Walking (Sensible Shoes by Sharon Garlough Brown)

This is the second time I have read this book, and I thought I had already reviewed it. However, I did not, and that may be a good situation. The first time I read this book, I read it as a novel directly after reading a fabulously well-written story. Bad spot to be in. Even when one brings her 'A' moves, if the one that came before was an A+, it's difficult to be valued for what you at number two brought to the game. The irony is that I do not remember the title or story of the book I read before this one. I do remember Sensible Shoes which made it all the more annoying when a friend kept asking me if I had heard of, bought, read this book. I told her three different times over the course of six months that I had. I finally decided to pick the book back up and read it again.

I'm glad I did. This time I read the book for what it is: a well-written story about walking through the spiritual journey of four women. Although as this same friend above also keeps saying, "It's not just a woman's book." Indeed, the stories of trying to be perfect, trying to help everyone, trying to escape our pasts, trying to navigate the storms of life apply to male and female alike.

I knew the first time around that the book was filled with a great deal of wisdom (from which I gained insight and changes), but the second time around I was surprised by how my opinion changed about the literary quality. Brown writes well. What takes getting accustomed to is reading a book of wisdom directly addressing spiritual journeys written in the form of a novel. Once I stopped attempting to pin the book down to a specific category, I could relate -- haha, I started to write "relax" and autocorrect popped up with "relate" so, yes, I could not only relate to the book, learn from the book, but also enjoy the literary quality of the book.

On the spiritual side, Brown does a great job of diffusing common misunderstandings about Christian spiritual formation practices, mostly through Charissa, a young married woman who is working on her Ph.D. in English literature. Charissa is caught between wanting an A (make that A+) from her professor and partaking in some unorthodox (to her) practice where she can't just check off her good behaviors on a checklist.

I gained even more insight and transforming changes -- drawing even more deeply into relationship with God -- with this second read.

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Parents (of the four main characters) do not not come off too well in this book. I just now realized this.  That's a bit sad since this story development makes it seem as if parents totally mess up our lives and they're the reason we need transformation. Even the most wonderful parent in the world can not raise a child who never grows up needing to do some changing to grow! With that flaw in the story addressed, let's just say that one can learn what direction NOT to go from the parents in this book. (And, yes, sometimes our parents did cause issues just as we did or will cause in our children's lives. It would help our children tremendously if we could heal the hurts and avoid bending in the same direction as the parents in this novel or our own parents if that is the case.)

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As mentioned above, this novel involves spiritual practices, and there are many from which to choose which makes this a book worth buying. I'll come back to it time and again as I would never attempt everything at once. One practice I've looked at before in my life, but came back to again this time, was how I view God. How one views God will drive my entire reading of the Bible and every aspect where God is mentioned to me, discussed with me, etc. One practice that came to my mind two Mother's Days ago happened because I was reading 1 Corinthians 13. Yeah, that chapter. The chapter read so often at wedding ceremonies instructing the couple to live this chapter out. I realized God has this love! With that in mind, whenever I read the Old or New Testament; whenever I or someone else is discussing God, if the picture of God that comes out of that reading or that discussion does not fit 1 Corinthians 13, I explore what is going on in my head. Where is my picture of God coming from? 

Day 4 -- Simplify on This Fourth Day of Advent

Simplify is great word to think about, but I found it difficult to take a picture of it (and truth be revealed: it is a bit difficult to implement at times)! After rejecting several ideas (a calendar with less dates filled in? a closet with less clothes?), I wondered how God simplifies in nature.

I started with a tree (which is pictured below), but decided on the image above because of the three different types of plants. Each holds a key to simplifying. The evergreen in the background can stay green all year, but daily it needs to simplify its branches by dropping a few needles continuously. The red deciduous tree has a simplified rule of life that includes green buds, full green foliage, the beautiful autumn colors, and finally what looks like bareness in the winter. So, too, the grape vine with its buds, followed by leaves and fruit, then dropping of the leaves, and finally a cutting back. Then, each plant starts its cycle again.

I have seasons in my life as well, and I am learning that it is an excellent idea to simplify by dropping activities, cutting back, and then, when the season is right, to begin again. In this way, I can bear good fruit.

And, if all else fails, trust a seven-year-old to show you how to simplify by using one's imagination. No need to buy another nativity set; make do with the one you have.

What's IS That Noise?

What is that racket, that commotion, that noise, I hear?

A) the running commentary and video in my head
B) traffic, Internet video clips, radio, podcasts, phone beeps
C) slogans and messages on billboards, clothing, bumper stickers, and everywhere else
D) All of the above

If you're like me, the answer is 'D' -- all of the above. When I lose my keys, the Internet is down at work, the latest text message carries with it a downturn in a friend or family member's health, and social media is broadcasting the latest in who is angry at whom, I feel like the momma elephant in the children's book Five Minutes Peace by Jill Murphy.

"The children were having breakfast. This was not a pleasant sight."

Murphy has this one right. I'm in the middle of reading a book Behind the Beautiful Forevers by Katherine Boo. It's a non-fiction story about life in a Mumbai undercity. Children are not having breakfast there, but they're not really considered the poor in India which makes me wonder how desperate do you have to be to be poor in India. In the meantime, down the street, folks are upset because a major coffeehouse has changed the design of their cups.

The children of the world are having (or not having) breakfast, and it is not a pleasant sight.

During all this morning hour, as in Murphy's book, everyone is vying for momma's or our attention: Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! Then, Can I? Can I? Can I? And, I'll add during this season: Buy me...Buy me...Buy me...

Dallas Willard writes: "We are immersed in birth-to-death and wall-to-wall 'noise' -- silent and not so silent" (The Divine Conspiracy 9). It's not just the morning hour, 24/7 we are "smothered in slogans" (ibid) and facing our own video thoughts.

All the momma wants in this children's book is five minutes of peace, and along with slowing down, five minutes of silence filled with peace helps me and others bring "truth, goodness, strength, and beauty into our lives" (Willard 10). Five minutes of stillness with God cuts through my first instinct to blame someone for "accidentally" picking up my keys (when I simply put them in a different place), cuts through the panic of how will I get my job done, cuts through the despair, cuts through sheer nonsense. God comes alongside and I stop scapegoating (blaming others), and I gain creativity and hope and wisdom. I can lift up my eyes and see someone else at the breakfast table other than myself. That will be the subject of a different post, but for now, for those who might be scared about 5 minutes with God, I leave you with this: God likes you; He loves you. He's like Mr. Rogers except hundreds upon hundreds times better.

Joining me on this journey of practice? Slowing down and 5 minutes of stillness with God.
Joining me reading? Pages 9 - 13 of The Divine Conspiracy. 

Conquering Anger -- Part I

This angry face image came from a man blogging about his anger at the Twins (baseball team). That kind of anger baffles me. I suppose if he has money he has gambled on the game and they are losing, then that means he is losing as well. It seems like strange behavior to me since his anger can not change the outcome of the game. However, I have been angry. Many times in my life. Yet, when I read on my 365 Writing Prompts list (found not on my List Board as previously blogged; it's on my 2014? Board), the day twelve prompt was "What is making you mad?" and nothing was making mad. In fact, I was having a difficult time remembering the last time I was angry. I am sure my children or husband could tell me in an instant, but I am no longer in the habit of being mad. So, "Conquering Anger" is what I contemplated this past Sunday.

I was interrupted after writing that last sentence (interruptions in the past would have made me angry), and in the intervening time, I realized how long a post this could become! Therefore, I am just going to tackle the first situation that came to mind when I think of my anger: Exhaustion.

Exhaustion, fatigue, tiredness. As a young mom with four children, I encountered fatigue often. I was not in the best of conditions to be kind, loving, or gentle. Sad to say, I made the situation worse by adding more activities to my life at a time when I could have been trying to get some rest. Wait! Don't get mad at me if you are a stay-at-home mom! I'm just telling my story here of one of the factors that made it easy for me to embrace anger.

Even when the children were in school, and I was working outside of the home, I added too many activities. Staying busy with activities happens to be a part of my cultural upbringing. That may not be the case for all readers, but where I live, people value one another by what they accomplish.

I have learned that I have value irregardless of what I accomplish. Those of you who have read some of my previous posts know that I am currently reading a book titled The Swerve. If you believe that you are nothing but atoms, I guess it makes sense that you should live for nothing but pleasure and avoidance of pain. I just haven't quite figured out how everyone can do that all at the same time. I'm thinking as I write here (I imagine you can tell that), and accomplishing something can give a person pleasure, but again, don't we get back to this idea that one is valued because of accomplishments? Also, what do we do when what we want to accomplish conflicts with another's person's desire for accomplishment? Much of the time, we get angry.

Being angry may give temporary pleasure and get a person what he wants, but then the person or people on the receiving end experience pain. I get the impression that people are just supposed to choose to all work together so that everyone will experience pleasure at the same time. Yeah. It doesn't seem to be working.

To be blunt, it takes more faith for me to believe in the "Swerve" than it does for me to believe in a good, loving, Triune God who says I have value, not because of what I do, but because I am uniquely created. He loves for me to be the ultimate me as He created me to be. (Okay, way too much rhyming there.) He doesn't want a cookie cutter person. He doesn't want me to have to do every activity that comes my way just so I can show society that I am a person of value. And, I certainly don't have to be doing anything to earn His love.

He knows my body needs rest to be the best me, and to be the kind of person that simply does not feel driven to anger, wrath, malice, or temper tantrums.

I know there are all kinds of situations that involve times when rest is out of reach such as for the student pictured below (and here is the link to go to some sort of event planning blog that suggests eleven ways to get a good night's sleep -- you might not be able to buy a new bed #11, but the rest are do-able). But, look how long this post is already. Feel free to comment. I'll title this Part I and see where it goes from here.

Wait a Second: I Need to Pull Myself Together

Every time I write, I seem to find myself in an ironic situation. I am in a bit of a hurry to finish this blog on "Slowing Down." Yesterday, I practiced with the Wholeness Tradition (yes, it is called by other names; next week I will explain why I choose to call it "Wholeness") by slowing down.  However, I am writing about yesterday on a day when my schedule is packed from eight in the morning until ten at night. I am feeling the pressure to hurry. Life never goes well when I hurry or when my schedule is packed. I have forgotten to pick up children at soccer fields and swimming pools. Every accident I have ever been involved in has been caused by someone in a hurry, either me or the other driver.  

Last week I slammed my head into this tree branch. The granddaughters were at my house, the dog needed to be exercised and then put into her kennel, and I was in a hurry. I quickly threw the ball for the dog; she retrieved it back and forth, and as I went to get the ball from under a bush (it is sometimes hard to tell who or what is actually doing the fetching), I did not realize I was standing so close to the tree. I whipped around like a tornado and found I did not have tornado powers. I flew backwards and hit the ground when I smacked head first into the branch. My hurrying only took more of my time as I stumbled around putting the dog into her outdoor yard, went inside to apply a cold wash cloth to my head (my mother's cure for all ills), and sat down to do an Internet check on head injuries (I was fine). 

As a mother of four children, I know the times come when moving fast and I do mean fast are necessary. Corraling four children when one breaks free to run into the street requires the skills of Superwoman. But I think those times are more rare than we make them out to be. So yesterday as I walked down the hallway, I slowed down the pace and my heart rate followed my lead. Again, aerobic exercise or cardio walking is the time and place to work on my heart; rushing because I am stressing does not lead to wholeness and wellness.

I had the opportunity to squeeze in one more activity yesterday, an activity I had been trying to accomplish for a couple of weeks. However, to do so would shortchange all my other activities and even hinder the additional activity; therefore,  I did not add it. 

The first image up above came from a blog written in 2011. I can not vouch for the rest of the posts in this blog since this is the first time I have ever read anything from it, but in this post, the author makes the argument that our busyness is destroying our relationships. It is a good read, and I leave you with the link here. Busy is the new fine -- great title, yes? Sad title, but oh so accurate. I think I will continue to practice slowing down today by ending here, in plenty of time to get ready for my next appointment. :D