Moving On (Miller's Valley by Anne Quindlen)

Nothing like walking through reviews of a book and realizing that I am going to be one of the few who rate it with 3 stars. Three stars: I liked it. It was fine. There's the issue, isn't it? We don't like to receive a 'C' grade, an average grade. We don't like to be "fine" or "nice." I can't really label the book as "nice" as once again this summer I've just finished a sad book (with somewhat of a "happy" ending, I guess). I am desperate to move on to something witty and humorous and happy. However, I didn't choose this book (it was a book discussion group choice for the month of July-August), and moving on from sad books is not why I chose the title "Moving On" for this post.

The people of Miller's Valley must move out and move on because their town is going to be covered in water; it will be a "drowned town". This is not a plot spoiler as we learn this immediately in the novel.

Still, I could have chosen a variety of themes to focus on from Quindlen's novel: eminent domain, 1960s and Vietnam (or any war era sending back soldiers into civilian life), family relationships, friendship, pro-life/pro-choice/sex, growing up / growing old, loneliness, identity and home.

All those themes touch my life in one way or the other, but I keep coming back to what it means to "move on." When does moving on help us grow and thrive, and when is moving on equivalent to cutting ourselves off from what matters and/or simply running away? When does someone else's moving on become something we have to deal with, get through, and get over?

If a reader is willing to look into that theme running throughout Miller's Valley and throughout the lives of its characters, then she or he will have lots to think about in this "quiet" book (a number of reviewers who rated this book three stars were wishing they had paid attention to the "quiet" label -- this means the story may move a bit slower than one would like).

The book is an excellent choice for discussion, but I'm not purchasing the book for my own shelves.

💕💕💕💕 One of the most important actions we can take with our children (and with ourselves) is to help them build up friendships that will last a lifetime. Some childhood friendships will fall by the wayside -- oh! what a great analogy I've fallen into! Some friendships will fall on footpaths where the busy birds of this life will eat them up. If the friendships seem like good ones, pick up the seeds and move them to a place where they can be nurtured. Some friendships fall  among the rocks. Make sure that not all of your children's friendships and your own friendships stay in the rock or acquaintance region. Some friendships will fall among the weeds. Those are the tough calls to make when it comes to friendships. To have friendships among the good soil, those are friendships that last a lifetime and in rain and shine, help us to thrive and grow. Too often I've either moved on from friendship to friendship or planted friendships everywhere without making sure that I have deep friendships.

--------------Matthew, Mark, Luke, and Acts in the New Testament all write of "shaking the dust off of   [one's] feet." Words for moving on. My comments here address whether we read those stories in light of the reality that God is Love (see my ongoing blog post about this in this link here.  ) or if we read it as if God were made in our own image and if we shake off dust, then we either hate you or can't stand you or feel something other than God love for you. What if we look at "shaking of the dust" as moving on and moving past so that we can thrive and grow, so that we are not continually dragged down into the taking any number of unhelpful actions: being someone's rescuer and getting in the way of the Holy Spirit; becoming morose and stuck in the past; getting angry and becoming depressed about the past, unable to hear the goodness to which God is inviting us...

What if "shaking off the dust", "moving on", means we are invited to move away from bitterness, wrath, malice, evil words -- to put them off, to shake them off -- and to put on, move toward kindness compassion, and forgiveness? It may mean that moving on and away from someone or something is healing for our souls...and may lead to healing for theirs as well.

What if "shaking off the dust" means a moving on which is also helpful to the person or people from whom we are moving on or moving past? If the person can not hear and feel our love, can not hear and feel that the kingdom of God has come near to them, do we trust God in perfect love to send someone else? Just because we need to shake the dust off of our feet does not mean that God has abandoned the people. Truly, if these actions of shaking off the dust in protest as a testimony does not change any minds, if after time and time again, a person chooses to walk away from the freedom offered in Jesus, in God, in Love with a capital 'L', then the person gets to have what he or she wants and that is a life outside of the kingdom of God. That is sad, but the judgment does not come from us. Shaking dust off of our feet does not make us superior. It is merely an action done in love directed by God who is Love because we who are moving on are not the ones to carry the message of love there. We need to discontinue reading the words of Jesus as though he is saying them with hate and instead read them as a parent who deeply loves his children. "And you, Capernum, [think, dear children, about this] will this get you to heaven? No, you will go down to Hades [Sheol, a place of darkness, a place of death, a place where nothing grows or thrives; this is not what I want for you; change your mind, dear children, for I love you with an unfailing love].

**********I continue to think on this topic of moving on, shaking the dust off my feet. This question comes to mind. When do I move on and when do I stay put? It might have to do with what leads me toward  God and which leads me away from God. It probably has a lot to do with what is most helpful for both the one who is not listening and to me as well. Which "moving on" "shaking the dust off" move me toward God and away from anything that puts me in the place only God can hold or takes me away from anything I idolize? Which "moving on" or "shaking the dust off" takes me farther away from God's invitation to me (think of Jonah and Ninevah)? 

To Read or Not to Read (Shelf Life ed.Gary Paulsen and Vinegar Girl by Anne Tyler)

I don't have to read every book I start. This was an important decision I made last week. See the stack of books below.

These are just a few of the books I intend to read! At the time I took this picture, I forgot there was one in my purse.

(Yes, the purse looks like it could be replaced, but that's a blog piece for another day: not filling our waste or dump sites.) My actual decision not to read a book came while reading these two books:

I finished Shelf Life; I returned Vinegar Girl to the library. Both of these books have something in common. In Shelf Life, editor Gary Paulsen asked prominent authors to write short stories  which included the mention of a book. This was done to promote and benefit ProLiteracy Worldwide. Vinegar Girl by Anne Tyler is the third book of Random House's "Hogarth Shakespeare" project where a novelist updates a story from Shakespeare.

I picked up Shelf Life from work and I almost did not finish it as the stories at the beginning did not interest me. Sure, they mention a famous book (or two) in each story, but the stories came across like the results of a writing assignment rather than what would naturally come from the author. However, some of the students at the school where I work had this book as required reading so I pushed on and I liked the stories at the end. Also, the last section "About the Contributors" fascinated me.

Vinegar Girl written by well-known author Anne Tyler was supposed to be my "light-hearted" read after reading through a series of depressing books. It was okay, but I kept thinking the original Shakespearean play The Taming of the Shrew was a lot better. This isn't just me insisting on the original Shakespeare. I like his stories retold in modern language. I just kept thinking: "Wait, she's changing up the actual story." In the middle, I decided that I could stop reading. Just because I had started reading the book did not mean I had to finish it. Not only did I have all those other books I wanted to read (see first picture), but these books came in two days later (and The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie by Alan Bradley looks like it might be the light-hearted read I have been looking for.)

💕💕💕💕 About 70% of the people who look at my blog do so on a mobile device and I now realize the website post does not always come out well on a mobile so I'm working to fix that. I still have not figured out how to add the translation widget to the mobile format, but I'm playing with how to divide up the sections such as this one that connects the reading to family life and the one below connecting to spiritual transformation.

I don't actually have the answer to the question I'm raising in this section. How do we get our children and students to enjoy some of the best literature of the ages when testing on anything kills most of the joy?

-------------As for spiritual transformation and reading, I have not, I believe, mentioned reading scriptures which surely would be included in any spiritual transformation plan. Again, testing destroys a whole lot of joy. While reading Old Testament scriptures and New Testament scriptures will help any reader because of the vast number of biblical references and allusions made in books, reading of the bible can make a transformative difference. And, while some readers may gasp at the word "can", reading the bible knowing that God loves you, the reader, and delights in you, makes a difference between reading it  and being transformed and thinking that God is out to get you and not being transformed. Also, skillful readers know to picture in their minds what they are reading. See the second book review You Gotta Be the Book in this blog post "Five Books..." to read a discussion of how important it is to picture what we are reading, yet so often that information is not offered to those reading the bible.  

Retiring and Transitioning (Next by Vanderbloemen and Bird)

The short version of how I came to be reading this book: I thoroughly disliked hearing the statement: "All pastors are interim pastors." Wait! Don't stop reading because I used the word "pastor." I promise that this post will apply to all, not just pastors.

I still don't like the statement as used by authors Vanderbloemen and Bird. While I have dear friends who are wonderful interim pastors, I think the use of it in the book carries with it a negative feeling even if the authors do not intend to write in that way.

In this case, why do I give the book three stars which means I like the book? I would go so far as to say, for pastors and churches the rating is 4-5 stars and a necessary book to read. As someone not on an elder board and not a pastor, I appreciated the ideas in the book to know how to help a community of faith and a workplace community. I appreciated being challenged to think about how we all need to build bridges for others.

For the first two communities mentioned above, I like to think of leaders moving on in the best of circumstances as a time of commencement. They are about to begin a new part of their journey in life and how can the leaders bless their community and how can the community bless them. In the worst case situations, dealing with grief within a community is needful. For good or for ill, being prepared from the moment a leader takes up his or her position is the great idea conveyed by this book. The authors do go into every nitty gritty detail (money, loss of momentum, etc.) As one reviewer put it, for a book about pastoring, it seems like the the authors deem a good succession as one with continued tithing and continued growth. I have to wonder about some of the examples in the book: what happened to love God and love others.

The takeaway for me in this book is how does anyone: a parent, a woman or man, a employer, a leader, and, yes, a pastor, leave a legacy, not of wealth but of that which she or he has contributed to the world just being who they are and what they have been doing on this journey? Our unique identity can not be passed on, nor should we want it to be, but people are going to continue on without us. How can we make those transitions as smooth as possible for them?

Vanderbloemen and Bird's last chapters are some of the best. On page 171-172 of the next-to-the-last chapter, they bring in the work of William Bridges, an authority on change and transition "[who] helps us understand the emotional side of those transitions. He argues that the single biggest reason organizational changes fail is that no one has thought about endings or planned to manage their impact on people. His argument is that changes don't do you in. Rather transitions do you in.

"He explains the way the concepts differ. Change is situational....new location...retirement...reorganization...a shift...Transition is psychological. It is a process people go through as they internalize and come to terms with the details of the new situation the change brings about."

I have just participated in seeing a community carry out V&B's suggestions well: The pastor and his family verbalized a personal goodbye, the community had opportunities to say goodbye and to honor the pastor and his family. The grief of the community was and is being recognized. The pastor and family was gifted and blessed.

I wanted to include the beautiful words spoken during these celebrations and services but it would make the post too long so if you know me personally and would like me to get those to you, I will. If I don't know you, but you ask in the comment section, I will start putting those in my replies in the comment section.

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I've mentioned in this section before the need to know who would take care of your children if something were to happen to you. My children are grown so now my concern about what comes next is not to leave them with too many of my possessions to go through and try to get rid of or find places for. Also, as I think about my job, how can I make it easier for the person who one day will follow me? And, those who follow behind me will have their own contributions to make, but how can I leave my little section of the path clear so that they can more easily extend the path and travel farther than I could go?

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HUMILITY -- oh, does preparing for one's successor take humility. To practice little habits daily so that when that day comes, we can do so with grace and love and peace -- this, this is following Christ.
My indirect ways of practicing humility have been in choosing to get in the slow line at grocer's stores and letting people with less groceries than I to go ahead of me. Humility. Why is my time so much more than other people's time? Read the book Leadership and Self-Deception (link to the review here). When we take action which lacks humility, we want to make the others as people not like us, people who deserved whatever action we took.

Another little indirect step toward humility I took yesterday involved the dish soap. Yes, the dish soap. I tend to leave it out on the counter. My spouse loves tidiness. He mentioned that he is always putting it away. Please note that he did not say it to "put me in my place". It's not a slippery slope toward slavery if I choose to put the dish soap away as an indirect way to practice humility. This may not be a good practice for someone with an abusive spouse. I'm a creative messy person and my spouse likes some order. I'm not ready for a hoarding reality show, and he's not ready for psychological care; we're just different and  I'm confident in myself and my abilities; therefore, for me, putting away the dish soap is a practice I thought I would try. You can figure out your own small step of practicing humility.  

Lamenting (Hillbilly Elegy by J.D. Vance)

The diversity of my spring/summer reading selections boggles my mind.

The book Hillbilly Elegy by J.D. Vance was thrown into the mix by my library book discussion group. Most of the time when the group chooses a memoir, I don't make it to the end. Vance's book broke that pattern. That doesn't mean I'm giving it five stars (I've vacillated between 3 and 4 stars), but I did finish it within three days of reading and parts of his story resonated with me.

An elegy is a lament, and I'm not so sure this book is a lament as much as it is a cry for help. Reviewers disagree about the value of the book and, as usual, the ratings depend on how they take the book personally.

Connections for me revolved around whether conclusions Vance made could happen in my community and, if I had a similar background with a different result, what made my life different from Vance's?

On page 56, Vance comments on students and college that applied to my life, and I wasn't born or raised anywhere near Appalachia. "To move up was to move on. That required going to college. And yet there was no sense that failing to achieve higher education would bring shame or any other consequences. The message wasn't explicit; teachers didn't tell us that we were too stupid or poor to make it. Nevertheless, it was all around us, like the air we breathed: No one in our families had gone to college..."(56). Not a single counselor or teacher talked to me about getting into college. I did all the work myself (and very poorly). I was an intelligent person who read a lot, but never knew how to study to get good grades. Thankfully, I had access to a community college and it was there that grades began to matter to me. I didn't think about "moving up"; I thought about having that college degree and proving that I had worth.

This memoir (one reviewer questioned calling it a memoir when the author is thirty-one!) is a must read for Christ-followers who care about making a difference. On page 96, Vance discusses: "Many of the sermons I heard spent as much time criticizing other Christians as anything else...My new faith had put me on the lookout for heretics. Good friends who interpreted parts of the Bible differently were bad influencers...All of this talk about Christians who weren't Christian enough, secularists indoctrinating our youth, art exhibits insulting our faith, and persecution by the elites made the world a scary and foreign place" (97).

Vance's thoughts on Marine Corps boot camp, I believe, hold a key to some solutions: "Marine Corps boot camp, with its barrage of challenges big and small, began to teach me I had underestimated myself", and this -- "...I had never felt empowered--never believed that I had the ability and the responsibility to care for those I loved" (163, 167). The Corps taught him how to compare banks and shop for loans (175). Just as with college preparation, no one at school taught lower middle class students like myself how to do finances. Vance states: "I'm not saying ability doesn't matter. It certainly helps. But there's something powerful about realizing that you've undersold yourself--that somehow your mind confused lack of effort for inability. This is why, whenever, people ask me what I'd most like to change about the white working class, I say, 'The feeling that our choices don't matter" (177). There's no reason to put forth effort if one thinks effort does not change the circumstances.

This may be the difference between the community and family of Vance and my family. My family background may be one of times of poverty, but they were (and some still are) farmers. Farmers know that they may not be able to control the weather, but they can control tilling the soil, putting seed in the ground, and tending to crops and farm animals. One's effort makes a difference.

I'm a bit surprised that I don't want to buy the book as it does have statements I'd like to remember: "I don't believe in epiphanies. I don't believe in transformative moments, as transformation is harder than a moment. I've seen far too many people awash in a genuine desire to change only to lose their mettle when they realized just how difficult change actually is" (173). Vance writes: "We're more socially isolated than ever, and we pass that isolation down to our children. Our religion has changed--built around churches heavy on emotional rhetoric but light on the kind of social support necessary to enable poor kids to do well" (4). Thought-provoking.

I almost titled my blog post: "Politicking" as the book was later used to explain election results. The emails Vance cites on pages 192-193, I have seen and had discussions with relatively upscale family members and their friends who believed fake news and conspiracy theories. One's culture lives on no matter how little or how much money one earns. Also, reviewers have castigated Vance's book saying they believe it is his way to begin a run for public office. Is a person more noble who doesn't plan to go into public office but just seemingly "falls" into it? I ended up liking Vance and his wife and the decisions they make. This book is definitely a great discussion group book choice.

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Too often when parents and others start discussing "consequences", the topic is tied to consequences for one's naughty actions. What about consequences of perseverance and practicing and taking risks and failing yet trying again? Researcher Carol Dweck's work in growth mindset is excellent for learning how to teach children the "power of believing that you can improve".

Dweck's work wasn't around when I was raising my children; however, we did believe that our efforts could change circumstances. We may not have farmed, but we did garden.

What can you and I continue to do to help others know that they can persevere, practice, take risks and fail yet try again?

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See above. I don't know that I believe all transformation is harder than a moment, but I do believe transformation comes with daily moments. As Dallas Willard often said or wrote, and I paraphrase him, "indirectly doing practices which enable us to do that which we have not been able to do by our own direct effort." Vance could not in one direct moment overcome his cultural belief that his efforts did not have an impact on consequences yet the Corps taught him moment by moment he could keep his room clean, keep his hair cut, iron his uniforms, run not only a mile continuously but, in the end, three miles continuously, fail and be able to try again.

As Dallas wrote in The Great Omission: "Grace is not opposed to effort, it is opposed to earning. Earning is an attitude. Grace, you know, does not just have to do with forgiveness of sins alone" (61).  

Surviving (Small Country by Gaël Faye)

Small Country by Gaël Faye is a difficult novel to read, not because of the prose, which is outstandingly beautiful, but because of the horrors within it, which are tragically ugly. Why in the world would I recommend the book to anyone? Let me answer that with a conversation in the book itself as the main character Gabriel asks Madame Economopoulos if she has read all the books lining the shelves on her walls.

"Have you read all those books?" I asked her.

"Yes, I've even read some of them many times over. They're the great loves of my life. They make me laugh and weep and question and reflect on things. They allow me to escape from myself. They've changed me, they've made me a different person."

"A book can change us?"

"Of course a book can change you. It can even change your life. It's like falling in love. And you never know when such an encounter might happen. You should beware of books, they're sleeping genies." (140)

There wasn't much laughing or escaping from myself in this book. Weeping, questioning, reflecting -- there were plenty of those times. I'm trying to think of how to explain those times without giving away moments in the book, moments so real and detailed that the story feels more autobiographical than fiction. A character named Donatien brings up God, but rather than asking where God is, he puts the blame on humankind. The question to reflect upon becomes how can one help? Do we allow two small countries to annihilate each other along with all the powerless ones trying to survive? Rwanda and Burundi are extremely small. It took me three times and a final Internet search to find them on my world map.

Follow the boy's first finger out horizontally and just a tad bit up, and you can see two tiny pieces as if they are small puzzle pieces of Tanzania. They also both touch the Democratic Republic of the Congo. Uganda sits above Rwanda. If you want to feel where prejudice can ultimately take you when it tears apart an entire country or two, this is it.

If you're willing to face the challenge of reading the book, you will have excellent writing to read. Kudos to both the author Faye and the translator (in my case, Sarah Ardizzove translated it into English). On Goodreads, reviewer Liberty Hardy had the best recommendation I've read for diving into this book: "Don't forget, books that break your heart also strengthen your soul."  It is one of those books that can be read quickly but sit long on your mind and heart.

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I don't have the answers for how we keep our children from being overwhelmed by tragedy, keep them from being inured to violence because they may see so much of it in media, and keep them from being without compassion. I'm not sure if I lived in that tension between all those poorly or well. I was surprised as 2011 came to a close by how many of my students (living in the West) grew bored with 9/11 stories. Yet some of the most vocal became caring medical professionals. Perhaps the expression of boredom was a way for a teenager to keep fear away. Feel free to comment on how to address this with children, students, teenagers, adults. Again, my apologies for making you wait before seeing your comment appear, but if it is on topic (and not trying to sell anyone something), I will add it to the blog.

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In the formation of spirit, a human navigates a variety of streams. Six that I am familiar with as a Christ-follower are as follows: 1) Incarnational -- practicing life every day living as Jesus would live my life if Jesus were me 2) Holiness or wholeness or virtuous -- practicing life aiming for good and thriving 3) Spirit-filled -- practicing life living and loving with passion and joy 4) Word-centered -- practicing life with a life-giving message (and when necessary using words, as St. Francis supposedly said) 5) Contemplative -- practicing a life of prayer 6) Compassionate -- practicing a life of compassion. All of these prepare my mind, body, heart, soul for both tragedy and joy. For more on the Six Streams, use this link here.

Eating and Living (The Blue Zones Solution by Dan Buettner)

Do I post this with my 52 Books in 52 Weeks Challenge type of posts or with my siblings blog on health? The competitive side of me (not that 52 in 52 is a competition...haha) won out, but I will copy this into our family health blog as well (found here).

Photography is not my strength so apologies ahead of time. This mushroom soup is actually excellent. It did not come from the recipes in The Blue Zones Solution but I have been inspired by Dan Buettner's research into the Blue Zones ever since I first read his articles for National Geographic.

This book goes beyond those National Geographic articles which covered how people in Blue Zones ate and lived. Blue Zones are those areas of the world where the most centenarians live. In The Blue Zones Solution, Buettner revisits those zones in Greece, Japan, Italy, Costa Rica, and, yes, even the United States. In Part Two of the book, his team learned from Finland how to teach three areas of the United States how to create their own Blue Zones. In Part Three, Buettner discusses making a Blue Zone a personal choice, followed by Part Four, the recipes.

Since I've been reading a number of other health books with food protocols in them (Genius Foods, The End of Alzheimer's, and The Plant Paradox), I had comparisons to make. There are some situations that most writing healing food books seem to agree upon: the Standard American Diet is SAD, not just an acronym, but truly 😢, and sugar is not good for us. (See my post on that here.)

However, there are some differences. Legumes. Centenarians eat them, no question about that. And, they do eat bread, just not ones with the kind of grains in the typical SAD meal plan. Legumes and grains are not high on the list of some of these other protocols. That being said, the books previously mentioned are fighting back against some specific diseases (Alzheimer's, inflammations of many types).

I find reading a combination of these healing food protocols and paying attention to one's own body and medical tests are a good start to finding a healing protocol designed for oneself.

The Blue Zones Solution also addresses lifestyles of centenarians, not just healing foods, but a thriving lifestyle, this and the recipes make the book worth buying.

Buettner's Mushroom Stew includes white wine, soy sauce, and rice -- all of which are not healing for my Celiac's, thyroid, sky high iron, or potential for Alzheimer's so I offer my version which I made the day before yesterday and thought tasted quite good! It made just two servings (1 for the day before and 1 for yesterday).

Deborah's AIP  (Autoimmune Protocol) Mushroom Soup
(I use food that has not been sprayed with chemicals, etc.: truly organic in practice, not just on the label)

In a saucepan, cover the following with water:
2 small stalks of celery, sliced thin (I included the leafy parts which I took out before eating)
2 carrots, sliced thin
3 cloves of garlic, chopped or diced
5-6 dried shiitake mushrooms
1/2 onion, diced

I simmered this until the vegetables were soft. The dried mushrooms remained a bit chewy when I was ready to eat so when I...

Blend about 3 ladles and include all of the mushrooms until smooth. NOTE: I learned to hold a towel over the top of the blender when I blend something hot. This is supposed to prevent the top from flying off from the heat. I have not had any flying top disasters.

Put the blended soup into the rest of the soup and simmer to thicken it up. I started grabbing spices, salt, and pepper which I thought were AIP (I didn't double check.) I just dashed them in. Mediterranean salt, pepper, curry, turmeric, and dill weed.

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Blue Zone ideas for raising children: Besides being mindful about what one eats, having an optimal circadian rhythm for sleep and bedrooms that are cool, quiet, and dark, are beneficial for health. Working in the yard, planting a garden all practices for thriving. Creating a group of mutually committed friends, not just at a stage of life, but people with whom you will be young with and grow old with, is something that people do who live in Blue Zones.

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Interesting that a spiritual practice is fasting. It turns out that almost every healing protocol involves a form of fasting. NOT starving as in harmful practices. But, practices such as making one's last meal of the day be at least 3 hours before bedtime. In today's fast paced busy world, we're often grabbing food at 9 pm and then sending the children to bed. The Creator who made our bodies apparently knows our bodies need to relax at a meal and then give our bodies time to digest it before heading off into some good sleep. 

Surviving (The Legacy Series: Legacy, Prodigy, Champion by Marie Lu)

The first book in this series, Legacy, is not shown here because it was my daughter's book. She thought I stole borrowed it from her when I reviewed it last week. (See that review here.) However, I did not take the book home with me; thus, I only have these last two in the series which I checked out from the library. Notice the books are from the Teen section, and know also that the books have nothing to do with London -- that's just my morning coffee cup. The series takes place in the United States (and I realized this morning that I do not have a US coffee cup -- hint to family and friends).

Why did Lu (or her publishers) title this series the Legacy series? Really, the first book mainly involves the prodigy character(s). But, can you imagine a series titled the Prodigy series? It sounds a bit elitist, which the prodigy character, June, is. We can consider Day as the anti-prodigy character who is a prodigy that didn't make the cut but survives anyway (not a plot spoiler).

This series ranks ahead of the average teen series because of what Lu brings to the table of literature. Sure, it's typical teen fare: parents dead, lots of violence and fighting to survive, love interests (will she go with _______ or with ________ when you know all along that she's meant to be with ____).

However, though it irks me to have dead good adults in teen fiction, I do think the legacy that June and Day have involves parents and siblings who strive for good, in fact, gave their lives up fighting evil. Lu also employs symbolism and allusion, trademarks of good literature. Take the names of the main characters: June and Day -- season and time of the most light, at least in the northern hemisphere where this story takes place. Then, the kiss in Prodigy is so strong of an allusion, if you don't see it, you have some missing pieces in your literary background. I would rate Prodigy  as the strongest of the three books with a 4 star rating.

As for Champion, the last in the series, one can not just stop at Prodigy! I surmise my issue with Champion is that it moves beyond my originally agreeing with a Commonsense review stating that Legacy was for readers 12 and up. I will say, though, that when Lu brings in the theme of who we become, what shapes us, then she leads us into a story much more than the average teen fiction.

"How had he slowly twisted into the Elector who created such a dark nation? What path had he chosen to follow?" (Champion 263).

We know the legacy of three characters and the choices they make along the way which lead them into the people they become. We also see the choices of a few other characters and what led to their rise or fall. In this respect, I like the story. I'm still giving it 3 stars, but who doesn't finish a series?! Three stars won't stop someone from finishing to see what the end holds. And, to Lu's credit, she does go for a more complex ending. I do intend to read more of her novels.

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Writing stories. The deeper aspects of the Legacy series are what elevates this series: the choices that characters make, who they are and who they become. Too often, I saw students from first grade to high school think their normal everyday lives were not as exciting as the latest action movie they happened to watch. I made it my goal to encourage them to see that their daily lives had value in story form. A couple of weeks ago I gave my granddaughters a file of their dad's art work and written work. One of their favorite pieces was a story that he wrote about his dad, their grandpa. The story was loved by Grandpa as well. It's unusual for someone not to want to be a hero (or perhaps "heroic" would be a better word), but heroes don't happen overnight. Small daily actions grow heroes. Daily life, daily choices matter. June and Day, the characters in these books, have flaws, make mistakes. Sometimes our mistakes provide comic relief in our stories and sometimes they provide transparency and reality, but our mistakes need not hold us back from becoming people who in the midst of surviving also grow and thrive in goodness.

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I'm into these practices on listening since a friend sent me nine "DO NOTs of an Active Listener" from a 2014 blog of Janice Taylor's. I wish I could figure out how to turn them into DOs except, basically, the DO part of each one is "Just listen." 😌

4. DO NOT interrupt; do not cut the speaker [your child, your student, your friend, your ___?] off mid-sentence. Allow him/her to finish the thought. Just listen.
5. DO NOT plan your responses as the speaker is speaking. Just listen.
6. DO NOT give advice unless specifically asked for it. Just listen. 

Certainly this book series is an opportunity to think about social justice as well. How one goes about social justice is a good topic of discussion or of listening: to God, to others, before judging, jumping to conclusions and finding oneself more of a hindrance than a help.

Becoming -- a Three Book Review

I grew up thinking I was not creative. My parents didn't put this idea in my head. I simply felt I never came up with any new thoughts. This belief came to full fruition in my junior year of college. Our first activity in my Foundations of Education class was to think of as many ideas as possible using a pair of eyeglasses. Um, look through them; start a fire... When the class as a whole listed the ideas possible, I realized where I had missed the possibilities. The one idea that remains, of the many my classmates had, is to use them for an ant corral*. How effective of an ant corral that would be doesn't matter. What matters is I suddenly saw that I could learn how to be creative! I just needed to see connections beyond my normal parameters for a given object or subject. This is a long introduction to say that I am exercising my creativity by combining these three books for review: Legend by Marie Lu, The Crossroads of Should and Must by Elle Luna, and Becoming Dallas Willard by Gary Moon. They happen to be the first three books I read during my school break.

I give Legend by Marie Lu three stars. I like it. It's a good beach read, library read, vacation read. I liked it enough to seek out the other two books in the series once I returned home. I read somewhere (and, of course, now I can't find it) that Lu was intrigued with the idea of the poor criminal meeting up with the good person such as in Les Misérables. In this story, the criminal has the better morals of the two; however, I think not only Les Misérables but other stories have influenced Lu, all to the good. (Without being too much of a plot spoiler the ending matches the ending of The Tale of Two Cities with a bit of a twist...or maybe not such a twist...since I could also say that it matches a bible story.) Lu comes to the table of the past and updates the stories, freshens them up. Legend is a well-written, easy to read story of a dystopian future. It annoys me that the good adults in YA fiction are always dead or will die (an exception to this standard practice might be The 100; however, since I've only seen the television series and have not read the books, I'll have to check with the granddaughter to confirm that adults do live in that series). A Commonsense review noted that this book could be read at 12+. I agree with that. If you are in the + range as I am but you have enjoyed reading The Hunger Games series or the Divergent series, then you will probably enjoy this series as well.

I give The Crossroads of Should and Must by Elle Luna four stars. I have bought my own copy so that I can write in it. The "shoulds" have driven much of my life. Oldest child, what can I say more? Yet, pairing up "should" and "must" as opposites stretches my thinking about these two words. They are both modals. I used to describe modals as words your mom uses: "You should clean up your room." "You must clean up your room." "Would you please clean up your room!" Modals also express "ability or possibility" but somehow I never caught on to that. I focused on the "permission and obligation" part of the modal definition. Basically, "should" is born out of duty, someone's idea of correctness, our own or someone else's criticism. "Must" as used in this book involves what we love, what drives us, what wakes us up in the morning eager to get on with the day -- with the caveat that what drives us needs to help us thrive, not kill us. Alcoholics must have a drink, but that's not what is going to help them thrive and grow. I did tell my daughter, "Hmmm, I must read, but I don't think I can get paid doing that." She had some ideas of how readers get paid. Previewing books, a reader's dream job, yes? Yet, I get to choose what I read at the moment. I'm not sure how much I would enjoy being forced to read something. The Crossroads of Should and Must is a gift book, an inspirational book, an artsy book. The price is right for me and I want to play around with the questions and thoughts in the book. 

Finally, I arrive at the book I pre-ordered so that it arrived on the first day out in the public and arrived in time for me to read it while flying out of my home state. I easily give Becoming Dallas Willard by Gary Moon five stars, and not just because I've sat under Dallas's teaching (and Gary's, too, come to think of it) or know some of the people that helped Gary make this book be the best it could be. I read the book every page from title page to endnotes in four days, and I will read this book again and again. It won't be sitting on a shelf looking pretty. Why would I re-read a biography? I first "met" Dallas in 2003 when he was a keynote speaker at a teacher's convention. About the same time, one of my sisters gave me his Divine Conspiracy  to read (I had a tough time getting past page 80 that first time of reading). Ten years later in 2013, I sat close enough to hear and see his interactions with people as he gave some of the last lectures of his life. In other words, I met him at a time when who he was seemed unachievable to me: incredibly kind and gentle at the same time that he was incredibly brilliant and humorous. This story Becoming Dallas Willard illustrates so well how the Dallas who closed out this life in 2013 was not the same Dallas who entered it in 1935.

He grew up in more challenging circumstances than many American readers; however, like many of us, he was a normal teen capable of activities that indicated his brain was not fully developed (read, foolish, dumb, stupid, thoughtless). There's nothing wrong with being a super good, moral, kind teenager, but I was not, and it's helpful to see that someone I respect and admire became that better person. He also sat under some of the same church teaching that I did and came to realize how it fell short of the fuller trusting real relationship one could have with Jesus, who "will walk right up to you", and that the kingdom of God and invisible things are real (131-132). Dallas failed in some of the same ways I have failed as a parent. To learn from someone who has struggled with my same struggles encourages my soul. Because spiritual practices were so much a part of Dallas's life, the book is a veritable source of spiritual practices in life narratives. Even the section of Dallas's years as a philosophy professor, which some reviewers have not enjoyed, I appreciated. How does the transformed life look during the hours of employment?

What does the transformed life look like when one comes out from under all the "shoulds" we or our culture places upon us? What does the transformed life look like when light and goodness shine forth? That's the connecting thread between these three books. Dallas Willard became who he was/is because his "must" was a vibrant relationship with Jesus, knowing that the kingdom of God is real and living in light of that eternal truth. He practiced in indirect ways actions that enabled the love of Jesus, the goodness, the kindness, the intelligence, the beauty and art of a life with Jesus to naturally flow out when it was directly needed.  Fictional characters June and Day become better characters as the light overcomes the darkness, good overcomes evil. (Granted there's a bit more violence in the Legend series than might be desired, but without characters who practice goodness, there would be no story. Violence would not overcome violence.)

Who are we becoming? People who live stunted lives because the "shoulds" keep us boxed up in fear? Or, people, who because of fear or anger live violent, ruined lives (this will come more into play in the second and third books of the Legend series)? Or people, as today's Sacred Space describes and a person that I saw in Dallas Willard -- a person who "reach(es) the fresh and challenging possibilities that God wish me (us) to realise"?

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This is my section of the blog for "been there, wish I had not done that" or "been there, I'm so glad I did". As mentioned above, I failed in the same way that Dallas did in certain areas of parenting. Believing church instruction of "spare the rod, spoil the child" has to count as one of my failures. Along with believing some teaching about a child being willful when he or she cries. More than likely, it is an overtired, over-stimulated child, a hungry child, a wet or hurting child. I'm thankful there is so much more research out now than there was when I was raising a child. Sure, there are ways to spoil a child, but I have a feeling that it has more to do with giving a child an overabundance of material goods rather than giving a child an abundance of hugs, presence, partnership in doing chores, direction and guidance in learning to live in an overactive world.

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"What most often stops me achieving freedom is my tendency to be caught up in fears and exceptions about what I 'ought' or 'should' be. My usual automatic responses tie me down and inhibit me from exploring new areas of growth. I ask and pray for a greater sense of inner freedom and that I might reach the fresh and challenging possibilities that God wishes me to realise" (Sacred Space, Monday, April 23, 2018).

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* This morning as I sat on my back porch, I noticed that a lead line had corralled an ant. Actually one ant was corralled inside the loop and another ant was corralled outside the loop. I thought ants could crawl up surfaces so I was surprised that neither one tried to crawl over." 

Braving (Braving the Wilderness by Brené Brown)

I checked this book out of my local library and read it at the end of March. If I can find a book at the library, I like to read them first to see if I actually want to spend my money to buy it and keep it on my shelves forever. Since this book received a high rating from a friend who does not give books high marks, I thought this latest book of Brown's might be a keeper. As I read it, I was sure that I was going to order my own copy. However, it is now the middle of April and as I prepared to write this review, at first I could not think of what was in the book!

I sat with this thought (or lack thereof) and then some of the contents came back to me. Stand up for what you believe AND be kind (my paraphrase). As some reviewers stated, the book doesn't contain earth-shaking new information, but reminders are good. In the social media that I participate in, I see people standing up for what they believe, and they are definitely not kind. Plus, the stories in Brown's book resonated with my life. Christians castigate Brown for cussing and non-Christian cussers castigate her for her faith. I can just imagine what some of my friends and acquaintances think of my social media posts ("How could she post that and still be ....?") or of my reviews ("She read that book?"). Brown favors no one in this book (in spite of what some reviewers wrote). No matter what side of an argument one falls on, there will be someone on that side who is downright mean in their anger.

As for the comments that it is a highly American book, the examples are definitely from American life; however, disagreements and injustice are universals. The greatest world leaders that I know of have stood against injustice and have exhibited love.

If you're looking for research data, this is not the book for you. Brown refers to her research but does not include the data (even qualitative research includes data). This is more of a summary in narrative form of what she has learned. It would make a great book discussion group read. Also, see the comments below for how I think this book is formational.

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So often in raising young children, we strive to teach them to be kind. I wonder if we teach them to be kind at the cost of teaching them how to courageously stand against injustice? Then, as they grow older and they're naturally prone to want to argue, in classrooms, they are similarly quite often taught how to debate.

How can we, instead, teach them from a young age and beyond how to "reason together." Dallas Willard is one of my favorite authors and teachers. As a superior philosopher, he would have been able to demolish many an argument in a debate; however, I heard him say not only in person at a conference, but also in recorded teaching sessions, that he would not debate someone. If someone wanted to have a discussion and seek out the truth together, he was all for that.

Think about: have you ever known a debate to win someone over? I'm sure that someone somewhere has, but numbers-wise, more people have been won over to a different opinion by being seen and being listened to.
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I think I've put this spiritual formation practice in this section before, but it bears repeating. Try going an entire day listening to others without critiquing them, contradicting them, debating them. Reflect on what you learn from such a day. 

Journeying, Persevering, Surrendering, Embracing (The Sensible Shoes Series by Sharon Garlough Brown)

With -ing words such as those in the title, it's no wonder that I have not had the time to write. I'm actually way ahead of my goal in Read 52 books in 52 weeks ; however, I'm just now sitting down to write. Yesterday I finished this series, so I'm reviewing the books together (although I did already review the first book here Sensible Shoes).

As mentioned in my review of the first book of this series, Sensible Shoes, it helps going into the reading of these books treating them as a new type of genre: one that is a cross between non-fiction spiritual formation practices and literature. This new genre works if you realize that at the beginning. Brown writes skillfully, even eloquently at times, but I didn't observe this during my first time reading because I kept tripping over the spiritual formation practices. The spiritual formation practices were good, but I was not accustomed to seeing them embedded within fiction. My second time around, I enjoyed both (and discovered beauty in Brown's writing).

By the time I read the second book in this series, Two Steps Forward, I had an invested interest in the characters. In this book, Brown begins developing the main male characters as well. Some of the shiny good characters in the first book lose their luster in the second book. Charissa's husband needed to lose some of his because he seemed too good to be true in the first book. He seems real in the second although it took a few chapters for me to accept the new side of John.

As for one of the four original women in the Sensible Shoes group, Meg, some readers won't be disappointed in her at all. Not that I was disappointed in her, as much as I wanted her to be light shining to her daughter's creepy older "boyfriend." I suspect I expect more of my novel characters than I do of myself.

The third book in the series, Barefoot, is at times too real. It's not an escape book, a beach read. If you have much drama going on in your own life at the moment, you might want to save this book for another time. On the other hand, if you have a lot of trials and tribulations, maybe you will want to feel like you're not alone and to know how the situations could be handled. I did find that to be true. I embraced a couple of the practices, and since this is the "surrendering" book, I can say that I learned to surrender situations that I could not control or change. God brought peace into those situations without me micromanaging everything (which tended to make situations worse just as it did in the book). Mini-spoiler alert: tears involved in this book.

I can't say that the last book, An Extra Mile, is any less real. There were times when I would think I wanted to ask the characters, who I thought were least like me, what were they thinking. Then, there were the characters that I felt sorry for because, of course, I resonated with their feelings and actions. I had been there, done that. The parents of the main women continue to be a rather disappointing lot which I did not like. I take that back. Abby's mom is likable (Abby's mom doesn't figure much into the story, however). Also, persevere through the reading if you find yourself like I did thinking, "Wow, their treatment of the bad character is as bad as the character him or herself." Eventually, good comes into the story.

Since my own siblings are my sensible shoes group, I do want to share this series with them. I'll need to buy my own set to keep because I'll want to keep coming back to the spiritual formation practices within the book (easily accessed both as separate pages and at the end of the book).

Because so much of these books are about being real and telling God exactly how we feel (angry, disappointed, heartbroken, and, yes, glad, too) and knowing we are God's beloved, here is the non-social media worthy picture of this set of books. 😏

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This is my section of my blog where I usually list either my regrets in parenting or my kudos in parenting. I could regret not having the type of teaching in these books, but I had no control over that. I grew up in the culture I grew up in, just as the parents did in this series. For parents now, this series would be a great help in parenting...and grandparents in grandparenting...

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This section I use for a spiritual formation practice. I wasn't going to include any because there are so many to choose from in this series, but then I was flipping through the last book in the series An Extra Mile, and I came across the one meditating on John 11:17-44 where Lazarus has died. Brown brings insight into the story that I had never thought of before. Mary is always the good sister, right? Funny how we categorize people as good or bad, not that their actions are good or bad. Mary does everything right. However, Brown has her character Hannah see Martha as the confronter and Mary as the avoider. From Hannah's journal:

"I look at the text again, and I'm reminded of how differently the two sisters grieved. Martha, the confronter. Mary, the avoider. I've been both sisters. I've had my moments of angrily accusing you of not caring, and I've had my moments of keeping my pain to myself and privately nursing my disappointment.

"I watch Mary sitting there in the house, surrounded by people who are probably wondering aloud about Jesus' power -- couldn't the One who had healed the blind man, they ask later, have kept this from happening? -- and none of their words comfort or soothe. They just compound the pain. Then Martha reappears in the doorway, and her countenance is softened, and she speaks gently and says, 'The Teacher is here, and he's calling for you.'

"That's what breaks the stewing. The ruminating. The rehearsing of the confusion and the wound. 'Jesus is here, and he wants to see you. He's calling for you.' Those summoning words shift everything and gently move Mary forward in her grieving. Those are the words I need to keep hearing, Lord, as I move forward with all of the losses and all of the gains. So many joyful gains to celebrate even as there are so many deaths to mourn. You summon me. I summon you. Come and see the things I have buried. Come and see the places where I'm disappointed and the places where I have hope. Meet me here with resurrection life. Not just me. All of us. Please" (29-30). 

Walking (Sensible Shoes by Sharon Garlough Brown)

This is the second time I have read this book, and I thought I had already reviewed it. However, I did not, and that may be a good situation. The first time I read this book, I read it as a novel directly after reading a fabulously well-written story. Bad spot to be in. Even when one brings her 'A' moves, if the one that came before was an A+, it's difficult to be valued for what you at number two brought to the game. The irony is that I do not remember the title or story of the book I read before this one. I do remember Sensible Shoes which made it all the more annoying when a friend kept asking me if I had heard of, bought, read this book. I told her three different times over the course of six months that I had. I finally decided to pick the book back up and read it again.

I'm glad I did. This time I read the book for what it is: a well-written story about walking through the spiritual journey of four women. Although as this same friend above also keeps saying, "It's not just a woman's book." Indeed, the stories of trying to be perfect, trying to help everyone, trying to escape our pasts, trying to navigate the storms of life apply to male and female alike.

I knew the first time around that the book was filled with a great deal of wisdom (from which I gained insight and changes), but the second time around I was surprised by how my opinion changed about the literary quality. Brown writes well. What takes getting accustomed to is reading a book of wisdom directly addressing spiritual journeys written in the form of a novel. Once I stopped attempting to pin the book down to a specific category, I could relate -- haha, I started to write "relax" and autocorrect popped up with "relate" so, yes, I could not only relate to the book, learn from the book, but also enjoy the literary quality of the book.

On the spiritual side, Brown does a great job of diffusing common misunderstandings about Christian spiritual formation practices, mostly through Charissa, a young married woman who is working on her Ph.D. in English literature. Charissa is caught between wanting an A (make that A+) from her professor and partaking in some unorthodox (to her) practice where she can't just check off her good behaviors on a checklist.

I gained even more insight and transforming changes -- drawing even more deeply into relationship with God -- with this second read.

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Parents (of the four main characters) do not not come off too well in this book. I just now realized this.  That's a bit sad since this story development makes it seem as if parents totally mess up our lives and they're the reason we need transformation. Even the most wonderful parent in the world can not raise a child who never grows up needing to do some changing to grow! With that flaw in the story addressed, let's just say that one can learn what direction NOT to go from the parents in this book. (And, yes, sometimes our parents did cause issues just as we did or will cause in our children's lives. It would help our children tremendously if we could heal the hurts and avoid bending in the same direction as the parents in this novel or our own parents if that is the case.)

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As mentioned above, this novel involves spiritual practices, and there are many from which to choose which makes this a book worth buying. I'll come back to it time and again as I would never attempt everything at once. One practice I've looked at before in my life, but came back to again this time, was how I view God. How one views God will drive my entire reading of the Bible and every aspect where God is mentioned to me, discussed with me, etc. One practice that came to my mind two Mother's Days ago happened because I was reading 1 Corinthians 13. Yeah, that chapter. The chapter read so often at wedding ceremonies instructing the couple to live this chapter out. I realized God has this love! With that in mind, whenever I read the Old or New Testament; whenever I or someone else is discussing God, if the picture of God that comes out of that reading or that discussion does not fit 1 Corinthians 13, I explore what is going on in my head. Where is my picture of God coming from? 

Transitioning (We Never Asked for Wings by Vanessa Diffenbaugh)

Here's the argument I have been having with myself concerning this book: Is this simply a "beach read" or is it something more?

A "beach read" book can be read without thinking while basking in the sun, and the reader can count on a happy ending. Right now I have a particular friend in mind as I picture her squirming and my imagination hears her saying, "Don't do it. Don't you dig deep and make the ending anything but happy!"

Can I at least dig deep and tell you that you can still have your happy ending?

Here's something else about beach read books: they're predictable in that bad situations do not remain bad situations. The heroine Letty, who many Goodreads reviewers can't stand, has good people help her...and good people who have to admit that they are at least partly responsible for her dysfunctional life. In this novel, enormously stupid mistakes do not end in disaster, but then again, they don't end as though they never happened.

I was ready to label the book as a feel good book just because Letty and her son Alex are helped out of their messes. Then, I wondered at why I thought tragedy is more real than goodness. I know people like Letty. I want to help them out the way Letty's coworker, Rick, does and to be cautious about helping out the way that Letty's mom does (a mom with good intentions). I also know someone like Rick. She is a bartender; she knows how to cook; she has resources the way that Rick does. It would be easy to comment that wealthy people help Letty out, but then that means the reader has forgotten that poor people helped Letty out in the beginning of the novel. What if the goodness shown in this book is what reality truly can look like?

My friend, mentioned in paragraph two, can stop reading here so that we can stay friends. While I'm glad that the social issue of immigration is brought to our attention in this book, I have issues with a person with physical challenges being used to bring about growth in a main character. While Yesenia is more developed than characters like her used to be in novels; still...well, I can't say more without including some spoilers.

For those interested in the Enneagram, I find thinking about the Enneagram numbers of these characters intriguing. Letty's mom provides a good view of what helping (Enneagram #2) gone wrong looks like while Rick is a solid view of what good helping looks like. Alex tries to be a reformer, and just like an Enneagram #1 gone overboard, he makes a mess of things.

I chose "Transitioning" for the title of this review rather than "Grounding and Flying" or "Planting and Flying." Planting and Flying tying into the idea of the two characteristics our children need: roots and wings. Frankly, I'm not sure anyone has been given roots at the beginning of this novel. However,  transitions are plentiful in this novel. How we react to transitions directs our stories.
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So many lessons can be gleaned from this novel. The challenge is not to swing far over to one side or the other -- being neither a "helicopter" parent constantly hovering nor being a military general to avoid having a child like Luna! Finding out what drives our children and encouraging them while helping them avoid the pitfalls. Is he a reformer? Is she a helper? Is he a performer? Is she an artist? Is he a researcher? Etc. (And, of course, switch the pronouns as needed.)

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So many opportunities for social justice exist, I won't single out one. A good practice is to find what one is passionate about and get involved. It's also good to realize a person can not help out with everything. Be patient and loving with people who do not get on the same social justice train that you do. Let's support each other in the best way that we can, and know that it takes all of us to work on the parts that we can to fight against all the social injustice that occurs in the world today.

Keeping and Caring -- (Soul Keeping by John Ortberg)

The amount of days I spent reading this book neither indicates a massive size book nor an obtuse vocabulary. It is only 194 pages long, and the vocabulary is accessible (a well-used sentence in the book is "Huh?" in response to some weighty thought put forward by Dallas Willard).

In 2013 when Ortberg stepped in for Dallas, when Dallas's illness kept him from delivering the morning conference session, I heard Ortberg say, "I do Dallas for Dummies," not implying that we were dummies but referring to a set of books that turn scholarly topics into everyday language (Web Application Security for Dummies; Water Treatment for Dummies, etc.). 

So consider this a book on soul keeping in everyday language. It took me two and a half months to read because mostly I read this book in the evening right before I fell asleep. I'm not sure if that led to a disjointed feel to it or reading it while I was sleepy or the fact that I had been taught much of the material in the book. For someone who has never heard or read the teachings in this book, you are in for a life changing read as Ortberg writes so well of "What the Soul Is," "What the Soul Needs," and "The Soul Restored."

In the middle of the book, I might have given the book 3 out of 5 stars, even knowing how important the topic of the book is. However, by the time I reached "The Soul Needs Blessing" and "The Soul Needs Satisfaction," I revised that rating to 4 stars. This is the type of book I'm glad I own because I will keep coming back to it, knowing that I can get a refresher read in easily accessible language and thought.

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This section after the line of hearts is my "Regrets that I have which I hope will encourage both myself and the reader to choose differently, knowing that we all will have regrets, but still knowing that maybe we can learn from each other's regrets."

Dallas Willard was asked if he regretted anything. He replied, "I regret the time I have wasted." To which Ortberg responds: "Huh? If there is any human being on the planet who has not wasted time, it is Dallas. I don't think he'd know what a television was if one hit him on the head...But I think, maybe, this time I know what he means...The reason our souls hunger so is that the life we could be living so far exceeds our strangest dreams...I watched him and thought of what a redeemed soul can be:
* To be able to say yes or no without anxiety or duplicity
* To speak with confidence and honesty
* To be willing to disappoint anybody, yet ready to bless everybody
* To have a mind filled with more noble thoughts than could ever be spoken
* To share without thinking
* To see without judging
* To be so genuinely humble that each person I see would be an object of wonder
* To love God" (190-191).

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This section after the dotted line is my "spiritual formation practices" -- This book is filled with lots of great ideas to practice. I chose this one from page 166 as Ortberg quotes Dallas Willard:
"If you want to really experience the flow of love as never before, the next time you are in a competitive situation [around work or relationship or whose kids are the highest achieving or looks or whatever], pray that the others around you will be more outstanding, more praised, and more used of God than yourself. Really pull for them and rejoice in their success. If Christians were universally to do this for each other, the earth would soon be filled with the knowledge of the glory of God." 

Remembering: (Gypsy Triptych by Schoorl), Godparents, and Who Gets the Dogs

I must explain my rating of the book Gypsy Triptych (before I muse further on godparents and dogs), a book that would make an excellent reading group discussion choice. Jump to paragraph six to find out who I think might enjoy the book.

I don't hate the book; I don't even dislike the book. This issue is giving three, four, or five stars to a book written by a childhood friend, the daughter of my brother's godparents. As with my review of Tender at the Bone which indicated that a reader would either love the book or stop reading depending on whether one wanted recipes in a book, so too with Gypsy Triptych and dreams. This book will either be a reader's dream book or a nightmare.

Gypsy Triptych is a family friend's fictionalized memoir. The author indicates that there is fact amongst the fiction, and one reviewer found it intriguing to guess at which parts were fact and which were fiction. I did as well. I also enjoyed walking through my memories of the location (fact) and memories of Schoorl's family (much of it spot on -- accurate).

Another caveat for friends and family to whom this would matter: Schoorl writes, "I was a firm believer in the power of prayer, magic, dream, science, and reincarnation." Whether this is Schoorl herself, her character, or just a part of the dream it is written in, I do not know. Those who have read my blog before (or know me) know that I do not believe in reincarnation; however, I agree to disagree with authors and keep reading.

One reviewer mentioned some grammatical errors. Thankfully, the errors are not too numerous and there are some beautiful sentences such as "The sea looked so calm, like a prisoner who hides the secret torments of his life" and "He was deep in slumber, looking like he was sleeping off years of woe." One section involving the various homes where Schoorl's character (or Schoorl herself) lived in is a bit confusing. I can imagine the members of my local library book discussion group getting frustrated with keeping track of what is going on. I can understand. As it turns out, I am concurrently reading Henry Miller's Big Sur and the Oranges of Hieronymus Bosch, and Miller's memoirs equally jump around in sequencing so Schoorl is in good company with her writing style.

Regarding dreams, Schoorl comments, "I was accustomed to living this way with dream scenes decorating the walls of my mind, shy wallflowers, guests I myself invited." I did find the thought "I had been trying to dream with intention" a new thought that I tried myself later that night.

Who I think might enjoy the book -- those who are tired of reading typical memoirs (often ones I never finish reading -- let's drop names of everyone famous I have ever been in contact with and drone on and on or let me tell you my story which includes so much adventure and illegal activities that the book is more of a peep show than something that resonates with one's life), those who would enjoy dreams in a book, those who live in the San Bernardino County area or are interested in that area, those who have had second chances at love or are interested in second chances, those who are in book discussion groups.

I won't list all of the questions I think would be relevant to a group discussion (too many), but I will move on with something I found intriguing early on (pages 8-9): "Whenever it seemed that I would misremember and relate events from my childhood incorrectly, or that I didn't remember anything the same way my siblings did, I just reminded myself that they weren't gifted with better memories, but that it was rather quite natural for me to remember less since I was the youngest. I wasn't being incorrect intentionally. I focused on things that were important to me, not important to them. I remembered things that were in my line of vision."

In my line of vision as I read this book were Schoorl's descriptions of her parents who were my brother's godparents.

I look at these photos now and think "How young they were!" If something had happened to my parents, my brother (according to godparent tradition) would have gone to live with them. It was fascinating to think how his life would have changed. I think he still would have gone to college just as Schoorl and her sister did. His godparents were intellectuals who strongly believed in education. Would he have met my sister-in-law, a woman he met in high school and has been in love with since that time?

I was fourteen when the picture above of my brother and godparents was taken. Too young to take care of all my siblings, although as I grew older I wanted to do so if anything happened. Plenty happened -- the death of a marriage -- but not the death of my parents. My own godparent had forgotten that she was my godparent when we met up later in life. It wasn't memory loss, but merely the aspects of coming from a large extended family.

My aunt loved to travel and did it often, almost traveling to every part of the world so I know I would have kept something I have now: the love of traveling. I would have had a good life, and by good, I mean a life of loving God and loving others.

And, just to end with a cute dog picture: these are my granddogs although I doubt my daughter would call them that!

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I've started adding these little notes that my older self wished I could have told my younger parent self. My husband and I did not choose godparents for our children. I think I assumed my sisters would step up and take care of them. It is something to think about: choosing godparents and choosing in way that you can picture how your child or children would grow up with those parents.

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I've also started including practices for spiritual formation, for thriving. One thread that keeps running through Schoorl's book is the loneliness she felt growing up, something that surprised me given my family of seven lived down the street from Schoorl...until I recalled that we moved away while my siblings were still in elementary school which meant Schoorl also was still in elementary school. A good practice might be to look at one's community. Do you and I have a number of friends (enough to balance the loss of friends who move away or later in life, move into eternity) that we are willing to keep in contact with (more than Christmas cards)? 

Top Shelf with the Memories on the Left in the Bedroom -- Journals, Memoirs, and Writing, Oh My!

This is my second bookshelf post. For some people, this shelf on a bedroom hutch would not be for books. It would be for pictures or knick knacks. Not so in a reader's house. If you are a mom and here for a mom moment, skip down to the hearts. If you are interested in the spiritual practices side of this blog, skip down to the dotted lines. Those of you interested in brief synopses of the books, keep reading.

From left to right:
Streams in the Desert devotional journal -- not written in. I have this habit of buying beautiful journals and then not wanting to mar the pages. My original Streams in the Desert by L. B. Cowman is on the other side of the hutch, well used and well read.

I am Inspired reflections journal -- 15 pages written in while I was in Russia. It was a good choice for Russia as it is lightweight. Twice before I had traveled to Russia and not written down my thoughts when I was there. The experienced travelers say to reflect while you are on the journey or you will forget. I found this to be true, but difficult to implement. My last written words are in Russian. Unfortunately, I have dropped my practices and have forgotten much so I'm not sure what it says. Мы is "We"; Сару is probably Sarah, my daughter, with whom I was traveling. I know the last word is "house" and the next to the last, I think, is "old" and we were visiting an old, very old, house.
Мы двинули Сару к её новому дому.

What to do with the other pages? Sigh. I have many, many journals and a tendency to pick one up and start writing, no matter the date or subject. In other words, if my children or grandchildren ever read them, they will find the scope and sequencing way out of sync (out of order). I did have a idea for young moms (or anyone really), see 💕 below.

Live This Day a birthday book of questions and reflections -- not written in (are you sensing a pattern here?). I picked this up at a yard sale for 25 cents. I had grand plans of writing in it on my birthday every year, but I did not think about it two months ago.

Mere Christianity journal -- a beautiful leather journal (ahem, also not written in). I had bought one for one of my students as a graduation gift, liked it so much that I bought one for myself. There is a beautiful violet pressed inside.

All Shall Be Well by Paraclete Press -- colorful pages, quotes by saints of old (the cover quote by Hilda St. Clair), opportunities to draw and write, WRITTEN IN! I turn often to the first two pages. On one side is a quote by Teresa of Avila: "Let nothing disturb you. Let nothing frighten you. God alone is enough." On the other side are boxes in a variety of colors with these instructions: "Write your fears in each of these boxes. Now mark an X over each one and write underneath each one, "God is bigger than this." I have not literally filled in those boxes, but when I am fearful, I sometimes come to this page and mentally fill in the box, cross it out, and say to myself, "God is bigger than this." If you happened to read my post Magi-Community-Regrets-Resolutions, you will know that I took issue with those who respond to all situations with a blanket: God is enough. I responded, "God is enough AND God wants community." I still think that is true. I also know God is enough and bigger than all my fears. God also uses the community of saints (and sinners) to love me and strengthen me.

Writing About Your Life by William Zinsser -- I need all the help I can get. Obviously, what I need most is either the time or the will to sit down and start writing.

Old Friend from Far Away by Natalie Goldberg -- Yes, another "The Practice of Writing Memoir" Gulp, not written in. Yes, this is a "how-to" writing memories with actually exercise pages. Maybe I could put one page from a journal or memory book down on my list of "to-do" (see hearts below).

The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence -- so loved, the front cover is there but no longer attached. The copyright on this book is 1982. I may have had it longer than that. I can't say that I have read and re-read the book as much as I have constantly been reminded by the title that I can practice being aware of the presence of God.

Born for Battle by R. Arthur Mathews (copyright 1978) -- I've also had this book for a very long time. Every time I think about passing it along something happens to remind me of its value. The battle in this book is not against flesh and blood but against the spiritual forces of wickedness in heavenly places. What saved the book on the bookshelf this week was a section "God's Good Purposes in Human History" in Dallas Willard's book The Allure of Gentleness. It's too long of a discussion to post here, but I recommend Willard's book.

The Calvary Road by Roy Hession -- This is another book that I sometimes think of passing on and then I see the words I have underlined. The author, at least as he wrote the book, writes humbly and lovingly (which always draws me in) of openness and transparency.

If by Amy Carmichael -- Another little book I have had for a long time. When I pull it down, it is usually to remind myself of her poem "Love through me, Love of God" -- the second stanza is as follows:

Powers of the love of Good, 
Depths of the heart Divine, 
O Love that faileth not, break forth, 
And flood this world of Thine. 

Boundless Love by six women -- As I took the picture of this bookshelf, I wondered, "Do I have this book up here because I'm too lazy to pass it on?" So, I pull it down and start to read. The short vignettes by these women are so good. They were all grey-haired when the book came out, and I have been looking for writings by older women. The back page is a appropriate synopsis: "Our faith begins and ends with the love of God. In the face of life's struggles, how deeply we need to trust in a love greater than ourselves..."

A Heart Like His by Mike and Amy Nappa -- Written like a blog would be written, before there were blogs.

I Celebrate You, Grandmother! -- Back to the journal type of books. A gift book I found at a yard sale and couldn't pass up...even though my grandmothers died many years ago. I'm not sure what I intend to do with it! Hope my grandchildren find it and fill it in for me? Hah!

A Closer Walk by Catherine Marshall -- I keep pages 102-103 permanently bookmarked. These are the pages when Marshall discusses the day she decided to practice "fasting from criticism." Her account is hilarious (always hilarious when someone else it is happening to someone else). She writes: "My critical nature had not corrected a single one of the multitudinous things I found fault with." Those last three words are key words. Most of us, myself especially included, would not think of ourselves as critical. The word "critical" applies to someone mean, doesn't it. However, Marshall fasted from speaking out anything that day with which she found fault (whether she was right or not!). See below the dotted line for what she learned from this day.

Finally, A Time To Pray 365 Classic Prayers to help you through the year, compiled by Philip Law -- The title states it all, and I've used this book a lot.

Would I put any of these books on my Ideal Bookshelf? -- I don't know. Possibly the All Shall Be Well. Small, good quotes, good reflections.

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This morning, I wanted to accomplish as much as possible. I tend to jump from one activity to the next, getting things done, but maybe not as efficiently as possible (and forgetting some things in the middle of doing others). I have practiced making a list in the past and it has worked for me (as long as I don't lose all the little sticky notes, pieces of paper, etc.). Typically I jump from one activity to the next as they come to mind. This morning as I thought of something that needed to be done, I jotted it down on a piece of paper. This kept me from thinking of a computer activity and then finding myself still on the computer an hour later. I kept a list of everything that needed to be accomplished on the computer.

It did occur to me as my list grew that this might be overwhelming to a parent who is already overwhelmed. (One obviously can not put "change baby's diaper" on the list.) I wondered if putting one thing down per page, such as in this disposable little journal, might look more do-able. Once an action is crossed off, the page can be used again. It becomes more of a list making device than a journal, but one can look back and see how she made it through the day, and when there are encouraging words on the page to continually look at each time, an inexpensive journal (often found at the dollar store or cheaply at a yard sale) can be better than plain sheets of paper (easily lost).

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If you're looking to practice a day of fasting from criticism, it might help to read what Marshall discovered:
1) A critical spirit focuses on ourselves and makes us unhappy. We lose perspective and humor.
2) A critical spirit blocks the positive creative thoughts God longs to give us.
3) A critical spirit can prevent good relationships between individuals and often produces retaliatory criticalness.
4) Criticalness blocks the work of the Spirit of God: love, good will, mercy.
5) Whenever we see something genuinely wrong in another person's behavior, rather than criticize him or her directly, or -- far worse -- gripe about him behind his back, we should ask the Spirit of God to do the correction needed. (Marshall 104)