I Resolved Not to Make Resolutions

I have not made New Year's Resolutions for many years; however, this year on a whim and because my daughter did it first and showed me her list, I made a 20 Before 2020 List.

This is mine, not hers. We have a few in common if you adjust them slightly. She wants to read 26 books; for a second year in a row, I am attempting 52 books read in 52 weeks. She's going to take a new class and go to an art exhibit; I'm going to try and take an art class. I stole #4 from her: "12 Purges -- 1/month.

It is the last day of January, and I somewhat started a purge...sort of...kind of...okay, well, maybe not. Yet, the difference between a resolution and a (whatever this is...a to do list by a certain time...20 Actions Before 2020) makes itself most clear when I fail.

When I fail a resolution, I fail. End of story. End of resolution. Try again next year. When I fail at this list, I don't think of myself as failing. One, it was made up in fun and whimsy and a measure of reality. Two, when I failed at some of these, I actually succeeded at something better. That silly number 9 about using bookmarks? I learned not to use bills and checks, and I learned that old envelopes and library receipts (or coffee receipts) and napkins can be torn to mark special pages. Therefore, fancy bookmarks are not always the best choice for me to mark a page.

My 20 Before 2020 list is an opportunity to ask myself "What works?" and "What didn't work and why?" Or, "What didn't work, but worked out even better?" On one hand, I failed miserably on #12 -- tech free, utility free day / month. On the other hand, I succeeded because I kept trying each day to fulfill number 12 and, by the end of the month, I had more moments of turning out lights, of making decisions to not use technology or appliances. I became more aware and more conscious of my actions.

A third reason I don't feel like a failure: Many of these involve one action to be completed by the end of the year. One month has finished, but I have eleven more to go!

(P.S. For those wondering about "deeper" actions: I do have additions, but that's a whole other post, and who is to say that numbers 1-12 aren't deep?) 

Magi, Community, Regrets, Resolutions, God...Or, Musings on This Twelfth Day of Christmas

Our Magi have arrived to their, not biblically accurate but culturally acceptable, place with the Holy Family and the Shepherds.

Several times in 2017 I heard the statement made: God is enough. Indeed God IS enough, AND God in God's enoughness (with apologies to those of you reading this in translation since "enoughness" -- uncountably enough -- is not in a traditional dictionary)... God, being so enough to cover anything and everything, wants community, loves community. As Dallas Willard was so often heard to say:

"The aim of God in history is the creation of an all-inclusive community of loving persons, with Himself included in that community as its prime sustainer and most glorious inhabitant."

Picture Jesus, Immanuel, God with us, born to parents who could only afford turtle doves as their temple sacrifice after the birth of Jesus (so they were not wealthy). Angels gave them messages. An older cousin and her husband were part of their support group. Shepherds, perhaps multi-generational if the shepherds brought their older sons with them, came to honor them as well as Magi, obviously wealthy enough to make a long journey bringing gold, frankincense, and myrrh as gifts. Later they will be greeted (and given messages to ponder) by an old woman and an old man. Years later they will travel with family and friends, people Mary and Joseph trust so much, they won't look for Jesus for three days (and then discover he is not with them).

Here on this twelfth day of Christmas, on Epiphany Day when the manifestation of Jesus to the Gentiles as represented by the Magi is celebrated (and the Christmas tree is undecorated and put out into the trash barrel), I find myself thinking about community, regrets, and resolutions.

I'm not a New Year's Resolution maker. Resolutions set me up for failure. However, I do like to practice behaviors that will draw me to love God and love others. As I think of community, I want to practice listening and being present to those with a message, to those who support me, to those of all social classes, all ages, to my family and friends.

As for regrets, unlike a popular song lyric, I have more than a few, but when those regrets come to call, I don't want to waste present time (especially when I've apologized over and over for them) in regretting my regrets. Instead I want to practice taking the next right step I know to take (another Willardism) and not regret this present day sometime in the future. I won't always get it right, but as I fix my eyes on Jesus, I will be at peace. As I practice loving God with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength, and loving others as myself, I will still experience heartache and sorrows, but I will find comfort in sorrow, share joy and peace in tribulations, see beauty in the ashes.

While I'm musing, have you ever found yourself thinking of something and then completely unexpectedly, you read about something you are thinking of? This morning, I read this in Big Sur and The Oranges of Hieronymus Bosch by Henry Miller (the first time I've ever read a Henry Miller book):

"What could one bring that would be of value to the community? Just a normal, modest desire to do whatever needs to be done in whatever way it can be done. Briefly, two capable hands, a strong heart, and a certificate against disillusionment. If you have an intellect, bring it with you, but not the rubbish that usually goes with it...And, if you bring nothing else, bring a sense of humor..." (Miller 37). Sounds like a good practice to me. 

Opting Out of Resolutions; Opting In to Encouragement

If you have broken any of your resolutions made a mere 18 days ago, you are not alone. Some have even taken to tweeting their failures. Failures. That's my issue with resolutions. Either you accomplish them or you fail. I've opted out of resolution making for a number of years now, but it's only this year that I have replaced resolution making with something else: Keeping track, hopefully on paper, of what went well each day and where I need new strategies. If I don't write it down, then I'm at least practicing thinking about these two questions:

1) What went well today?
2) Where do I need new strategies?

Resolutions don't have solutions. I know: the sentence sounds cheesy and trite, but it helps me remember what I'm looking for: solutions, not failure. Failure needs to be an option. Yes, many of us have heard the famous quote: "Failure is not an option," but the person saying that had a great deal of practice (read: failures) before the day arrived when the practice boiled down to a moment in time when it was important not to fail.

A resolution that makes its way onto the top ten resolutions list every year is "Stop Smoking." It's a great resolution, but some folks don't realize the average smoker quits 8 to 10 times before succeeding. If we looked at resolutions in the same light as we would an inventor or a scientist, we would expect a great deal of failed attempts. Like a scientist, I have a vision of what I want to see happen and I am encouraging myself in that goal, that vision, by continuing what is leading me closer and considering how I can change what went awry by practicing a new strategy. This is what that looked like in my life the first day I tried it.

You might not have any problem calling people, or making your bed, or picking up clothes, but I've never liked using the telephone. Texting was God's gift to me! Maybe you made it an hour without smoking...or gossiping...or eating something unhealthy. Maybe you got out of bed 5 minutes earlier than the day before or gave your son or daughter your undivided attention. Maybe you took the time to be grateful or kind or patient. Did you look up and notice something beautiful outside your window? Did you attempt to smile at the barista? (Please smile at the barista. My daughter is one.) Whatever you did well, no matter how small, it was a step in the right direction.

Then, get creative about strategies for what didn't go the way you had hoped or planned. As it turned out, keeping a running list of actions to do works for me. It helps if I gather up all that I need to do on the computer and wait to do them later in the day. When I start off my day with social media, the rest of my day runs amuck. The next step for me is to make list-making a habit. I know it works for me; I'm just not in the habit of doing it.

As mentioned in my last blog post, I trust that people can change -- with encouragement, practicing falling down and getting back up, one day at a time, one step at a time. 

What to Post When You are Supposed to be Writing Assigned Papers

Don't laugh when you read that I pin (to my board on the Pinterest site). Remember, I am the one with paper piles from which no paper can ever be found. 

This is not a Google stock image. I have a personal relationship with this mess. There are no messes on Pinterest, a site which provides me with virtual file cabinets. I needed a list yesterday and, within two minutes, I found it on my Pinterest List Board. On that board was a list with 365 days of writing prompts. For your perusal are days one through eleven. You will have to either read to the end (or scroll down) to see why I am doing this. 

#1 -- My number one goal this year is to be more like Jesus than last year. 

#2 -- I am most grateful for Jesus in my life; if you want to read something other than Jesus as the answer, then it would be my family. See the third picture below.

#3 -- Yes, I am content…and no, I am not content. If content means to never change for the better, then no, I am not content. If by content, one means do I feel the need to strive for more possessions in my life, then I am happy to tell you that I am content with what I have. 

#4 -- Best memory of last year? Ahhh, now I get to post pictures. Last year had many sad memories, but mixed with the sadness were some great times. I will stick with just three. 

This picture does not do justice to the simple beauty of  our Christmas tree this year. I loved how unrushed and unhurried our Christmas was this year. 

I am learning with this great group of people. In October, we spent a week together and three more times over the course of two years, we will get together (in London, no less). 

I can't seem to control where my pictures end up: this gathering of my family happened in July. What a joy to gather all but six of us together in one place. Family gatherings count at the top of my memory list: Thanksgiving with youngest daughter in Redding; Yosemite with her and my youngest son's family; Sunday dinners. 

#5 -- Last major accomplishment -- figuring out how to get out of the caption mode to be able to continue writing. Seriously, any time I get out of a technological glitch counts as an accomplishment, or a miracle. Writing each day for forty-nine days, missing only two days, counts as an accomplishment. Staying married for forty years as of last April 15th definitely counts as an accomplishment, or a miracle. 

#6 -- What possession could I not live without? I could live without all my possessions -- see #3. Well, yes, clothing does count as a possession, and that is the one I need. I do like to be clothed. 

#7 -- Can people change? Yes. 

#8 -- Last "good" thing I ate -- define "good." If we are discussing "good for my health," then I guess it would be some buckwheat pilaf. If we mean "good, yummy," I ate a tasty piece of halibut with risotto (which I think also counts as healthy). 

#9 -- Current favorite snack -- carrot sticks (no, not because of any resolutions) 

#10 -- What made me smile on day ten -- my granddaughter K. On day nine, it was granddaughter S. :D 

#11 -- My favorite accessory? Lol! I am not against accessories; I just don't have time for them. My favorite accessory is probably this hat. 

This photo courtesy of my talented niece-in-law Brianne MacRunnel, owner of Brianne Janae Photography. I wear this hat (which no longer is anywhere close to being in this good of shape) to keep the dirt and weeds from getting all over me when I throw the ball for my dog. 

If you lasted this long, you may be wondering why this different type of posting. I had plans to practice the Word-centered life on Friday and write about it today. I did spend time in the Word (Matthew 13:18-23 The Parable of the Sower Explained to be exact), and I am creative enough that I could have turned that into a post; however, most of my day was spent with "words" -- lower case 'w' -- or in avoiding them. 

Here is an opportunity for my former students to gloat. It is easier to assign papers than it is to write papers, and I have two six-to-nine page papers due by the end of the month. I think I've written before about my relationship with cleaning and organizing. Yesterday, I found out that I can get so much cleaning and organizing done when I am supposed to be writing papers! I did manage to stay off of Facebook…but took that little detour over to Pinterest. Therefore, just so my students can enjoy watching me squirm as I live in their world of papers, assignments, and due dates, I wrote this post; now I am going to go tackle those papers. 

No Resolutions for Me on this Seventh Day of Christmas

Coffee. I know "Give up coffee" is on many resolution lists today. I know because January is a horrible month for my daughter financially. You see, she is a barista. This means she works at a rather well-known coffee shop, and during the month of January their sale of coffee drops to perilous lows. Therefore, the working hours of the baristas are cut. However, if they all can stay with their jobs until February, their working hours will come back. By February, 88 percent of people's resolutions are broken; thus, those who gave up coffee are back to buying cups of caffeinated energy in massive amounts.

I checked for resolutions on the Internet to see if making them is an international affair. Mostly it is a Western activity -- definitely not a third world issue. Who in a third world is making resolutions such as "I will eat less; I will stop accumulating"? But, I digress. This may be a topic for another day. I do live in a country that makes resolutions because we do need to eat less and buy less.

I am not resolving anything this year. Did I mention 88 percent of resolutions are broken within the month? On this seventh day of Christmas, however, I have noticed I have been given 7 of something, and it is not seven swans a-swimming. I have been given seven days in the week, and I'm going to use one of them to rest. The other six I am going to "practice" something that might have been a resolution if I had been so inclined to make a list of resolutions.

If you want to make a list, check out the site that goes with this image above. The Scientific American article includes some great thoughts about making your resolutions specific, attainable, etc. I may even incorporate some of their ideas in my "practices"; mostly, each day will be like a day of practicing for learning any sport or any instrument or anything I have ever wanted to learn.

If I mess up a "resolution," I tell myself what a failure I am -- I am part of the 88 percent of resolution failures.  If I have a bad day at "practice," tomorrow will probably be a little bit better because I will have learned something that I can use to make the next practice inch closer to my goal of improvement.

I'll let you know how this all goes. :D