To Read or Not to Read (Shelf Life ed.Gary Paulsen and Vinegar Girl by Anne Tyler)

I don't have to read every book I start. This was an important decision I made last week. See the stack of books below.

These are just a few of the books I intend to read! At the time I took this picture, I forgot there was one in my purse.

(Yes, the purse looks like it could be replaced, but that's a blog piece for another day: not filling our waste or dump sites.) My actual decision not to read a book came while reading these two books:

I finished Shelf Life; I returned Vinegar Girl to the library. Both of these books have something in common. In Shelf Life, editor Gary Paulsen asked prominent authors to write short stories  which included the mention of a book. This was done to promote and benefit ProLiteracy Worldwide. Vinegar Girl by Anne Tyler is the third book of Random House's "Hogarth Shakespeare" project where a novelist updates a story from Shakespeare.

I picked up Shelf Life from work and I almost did not finish it as the stories at the beginning did not interest me. Sure, they mention a famous book (or two) in each story, but the stories came across like the results of a writing assignment rather than what would naturally come from the author. However, some of the students at the school where I work had this book as required reading so I pushed on and I liked the stories at the end. Also, the last section "About the Contributors" fascinated me.

Vinegar Girl written by well-known author Anne Tyler was supposed to be my "light-hearted" read after reading through a series of depressing books. It was okay, but I kept thinking the original Shakespearean play The Taming of the Shrew was a lot better. This isn't just me insisting on the original Shakespeare. I like his stories retold in modern language. I just kept thinking: "Wait, she's changing up the actual story." In the middle, I decided that I could stop reading. Just because I had started reading the book did not mean I had to finish it. Not only did I have all those other books I wanted to read (see first picture), but these books came in two days later (and The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie by Alan Bradley looks like it might be the light-hearted read I have been looking for.)

💕💕💕💕 About 70% of the people who look at my blog do so on a mobile device and I now realize the website post does not always come out well on a mobile so I'm working to fix that. I still have not figured out how to add the translation widget to the mobile format, but I'm playing with how to divide up the sections such as this one that connects the reading to family life and the one below connecting to spiritual transformation.

I don't actually have the answer to the question I'm raising in this section. How do we get our children and students to enjoy some of the best literature of the ages when testing on anything kills most of the joy?

-------------As for spiritual transformation and reading, I have not, I believe, mentioned reading scriptures which surely would be included in any spiritual transformation plan. Again, testing destroys a whole lot of joy. While reading Old Testament scriptures and New Testament scriptures will help any reader because of the vast number of biblical references and allusions made in books, reading of the bible can make a transformative difference. And, while some readers may gasp at the word "can", reading the bible knowing that God loves you, the reader, and delights in you, makes a difference between reading it  and being transformed and thinking that God is out to get you and not being transformed. Also, skillful readers know to picture in their minds what they are reading. See the second book review You Gotta Be the Book in this blog post "Five Books..." to read a discussion of how important it is to picture what we are reading, yet so often that information is not offered to those reading the bible.  

Becoming -- a Three Book Review

I grew up thinking I was not creative. My parents didn't put this idea in my head. I simply felt I never came up with any new thoughts. This belief came to full fruition in my junior year of college. Our first activity in my Foundations of Education class was to think of as many ideas as possible using a pair of eyeglasses. Um, look through them; start a fire... When the class as a whole listed the ideas possible, I realized where I had missed the possibilities. The one idea that remains, of the many my classmates had, is to use them for an ant corral*. How effective of an ant corral that would be doesn't matter. What matters is I suddenly saw that I could learn how to be creative! I just needed to see connections beyond my normal parameters for a given object or subject. This is a long introduction to say that I am exercising my creativity by combining these three books for review: Legend by Marie Lu, The Crossroads of Should and Must by Elle Luna, and Becoming Dallas Willard by Gary Moon. They happen to be the first three books I read during my school break.

I give Legend by Marie Lu three stars. I like it. It's a good beach read, library read, vacation read. I liked it enough to seek out the other two books in the series once I returned home. I read somewhere (and, of course, now I can't find it) that Lu was intrigued with the idea of the poor criminal meeting up with the good person such as in Les Misérables. In this story, the criminal has the better morals of the two; however, I think not only Les Misérables but other stories have influenced Lu, all to the good. (Without being too much of a plot spoiler the ending matches the ending of The Tale of Two Cities with a bit of a twist...or maybe not such a twist...since I could also say that it matches a bible story.) Lu comes to the table of the past and updates the stories, freshens them up. Legend is a well-written, easy to read story of a dystopian future. It annoys me that the good adults in YA fiction are always dead or will die (an exception to this standard practice might be The 100; however, since I've only seen the television series and have not read the books, I'll have to check with the granddaughter to confirm that adults do live in that series). A Commonsense review noted that this book could be read at 12+. I agree with that. If you are in the + range as I am but you have enjoyed reading The Hunger Games series or the Divergent series, then you will probably enjoy this series as well.

I give The Crossroads of Should and Must by Elle Luna four stars. I have bought my own copy so that I can write in it. The "shoulds" have driven much of my life. Oldest child, what can I say more? Yet, pairing up "should" and "must" as opposites stretches my thinking about these two words. They are both modals. I used to describe modals as words your mom uses: "You should clean up your room." "You must clean up your room." "Would you please clean up your room!" Modals also express "ability or possibility" but somehow I never caught on to that. I focused on the "permission and obligation" part of the modal definition. Basically, "should" is born out of duty, someone's idea of correctness, our own or someone else's criticism. "Must" as used in this book involves what we love, what drives us, what wakes us up in the morning eager to get on with the day -- with the caveat that what drives us needs to help us thrive, not kill us. Alcoholics must have a drink, but that's not what is going to help them thrive and grow. I did tell my daughter, "Hmmm, I must read, but I don't think I can get paid doing that." She had some ideas of how readers get paid. Previewing books, a reader's dream job, yes? Yet, I get to choose what I read at the moment. I'm not sure how much I would enjoy being forced to read something. The Crossroads of Should and Must is a gift book, an inspirational book, an artsy book. The price is right for me and I want to play around with the questions and thoughts in the book. 

Finally, I arrive at the book I pre-ordered so that it arrived on the first day out in the public and arrived in time for me to read it while flying out of my home state. I easily give Becoming Dallas Willard by Gary Moon five stars, and not just because I've sat under Dallas's teaching (and Gary's, too, come to think of it) or know some of the people that helped Gary make this book be the best it could be. I read the book every page from title page to endnotes in four days, and I will read this book again and again. It won't be sitting on a shelf looking pretty. Why would I re-read a biography? I first "met" Dallas in 2003 when he was a keynote speaker at a teacher's convention. About the same time, one of my sisters gave me his Divine Conspiracy  to read (I had a tough time getting past page 80 that first time of reading). Ten years later in 2013, I sat close enough to hear and see his interactions with people as he gave some of the last lectures of his life. In other words, I met him at a time when who he was seemed unachievable to me: incredibly kind and gentle at the same time that he was incredibly brilliant and humorous. This story Becoming Dallas Willard illustrates so well how the Dallas who closed out this life in 2013 was not the same Dallas who entered it in 1935.

He grew up in more challenging circumstances than many American readers; however, like many of us, he was a normal teen capable of activities that indicated his brain was not fully developed (read, foolish, dumb, stupid, thoughtless). There's nothing wrong with being a super good, moral, kind teenager, but I was not, and it's helpful to see that someone I respect and admire became that better person. He also sat under some of the same church teaching that I did and came to realize how it fell short of the fuller trusting real relationship one could have with Jesus, who "will walk right up to you", and that the kingdom of God and invisible things are real (131-132). Dallas failed in some of the same ways I have failed as a parent. To learn from someone who has struggled with my same struggles encourages my soul. Because spiritual practices were so much a part of Dallas's life, the book is a veritable source of spiritual practices in life narratives. Even the section of Dallas's years as a philosophy professor, which some reviewers have not enjoyed, I appreciated. How does the transformed life look during the hours of employment?

What does the transformed life look like when one comes out from under all the "shoulds" we or our culture places upon us? What does the transformed life look like when light and goodness shine forth? That's the connecting thread between these three books. Dallas Willard became who he was/is because his "must" was a vibrant relationship with Jesus, knowing that the kingdom of God is real and living in light of that eternal truth. He practiced in indirect ways actions that enabled the love of Jesus, the goodness, the kindness, the intelligence, the beauty and art of a life with Jesus to naturally flow out when it was directly needed.  Fictional characters June and Day become better characters as the light overcomes the darkness, good overcomes evil. (Granted there's a bit more violence in the Legend series than might be desired, but without characters who practice goodness, there would be no story. Violence would not overcome violence.)

Who are we becoming? People who live stunted lives because the "shoulds" keep us boxed up in fear? Or, people, who because of fear or anger live violent, ruined lives (this will come more into play in the second and third books of the Legend series)? Or people, as today's Sacred Space describes and a person that I saw in Dallas Willard -- a person who "reach(es) the fresh and challenging possibilities that God wish me (us) to realise"?

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This is my section of the blog for "been there, wish I had not done that" or "been there, I'm so glad I did". As mentioned above, I failed in the same way that Dallas did in certain areas of parenting. Believing church instruction of "spare the rod, spoil the child" has to count as one of my failures. Along with believing some teaching about a child being willful when he or she cries. More than likely, it is an overtired, over-stimulated child, a hungry child, a wet or hurting child. I'm thankful there is so much more research out now than there was when I was raising a child. Sure, there are ways to spoil a child, but I have a feeling that it has more to do with giving a child an overabundance of material goods rather than giving a child an abundance of hugs, presence, partnership in doing chores, direction and guidance in learning to live in an overactive world.

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"What most often stops me achieving freedom is my tendency to be caught up in fears and exceptions about what I 'ought' or 'should' be. My usual automatic responses tie me down and inhibit me from exploring new areas of growth. I ask and pray for a greater sense of inner freedom and that I might reach the fresh and challenging possibilities that God wishes me to realise" (Sacred Space, Monday, April 23, 2018).

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* This morning as I sat on my back porch, I noticed that a lead line had corralled an ant. Actually one ant was corralled inside the loop and another ant was corralled outside the loop. I thought ants could crawl up surfaces so I was surprised that neither one tried to crawl over." 

Top Shelf with the Memories on the Left in the Bedroom -- Journals, Memoirs, and Writing, Oh My!

This is my second bookshelf post. For some people, this shelf on a bedroom hutch would not be for books. It would be for pictures or knick knacks. Not so in a reader's house. If you are a mom and here for a mom moment, skip down to the hearts. If you are interested in the spiritual practices side of this blog, skip down to the dotted lines. Those of you interested in brief synopses of the books, keep reading.

From left to right:
Streams in the Desert devotional journal -- not written in. I have this habit of buying beautiful journals and then not wanting to mar the pages. My original Streams in the Desert by L. B. Cowman is on the other side of the hutch, well used and well read.

I am Inspired reflections journal -- 15 pages written in while I was in Russia. It was a good choice for Russia as it is lightweight. Twice before I had traveled to Russia and not written down my thoughts when I was there. The experienced travelers say to reflect while you are on the journey or you will forget. I found this to be true, but difficult to implement. My last written words are in Russian. Unfortunately, I have dropped my practices and have forgotten much so I'm not sure what it says. Мы is "We"; Сару is probably Sarah, my daughter, with whom I was traveling. I know the last word is "house" and the next to the last, I think, is "old" and we were visiting an old, very old, house.
Мы двинули Сару к её новому дому.

What to do with the other pages? Sigh. I have many, many journals and a tendency to pick one up and start writing, no matter the date or subject. In other words, if my children or grandchildren ever read them, they will find the scope and sequencing way out of sync (out of order). I did have a idea for young moms (or anyone really), see 💕 below.

Live This Day a birthday book of questions and reflections -- not written in (are you sensing a pattern here?). I picked this up at a yard sale for 25 cents. I had grand plans of writing in it on my birthday every year, but I did not think about it two months ago.

Mere Christianity journal -- a beautiful leather journal (ahem, also not written in). I had bought one for one of my students as a graduation gift, liked it so much that I bought one for myself. There is a beautiful violet pressed inside.

All Shall Be Well by Paraclete Press -- colorful pages, quotes by saints of old (the cover quote by Hilda St. Clair), opportunities to draw and write, WRITTEN IN! I turn often to the first two pages. On one side is a quote by Teresa of Avila: "Let nothing disturb you. Let nothing frighten you. God alone is enough." On the other side are boxes in a variety of colors with these instructions: "Write your fears in each of these boxes. Now mark an X over each one and write underneath each one, "God is bigger than this." I have not literally filled in those boxes, but when I am fearful, I sometimes come to this page and mentally fill in the box, cross it out, and say to myself, "God is bigger than this." If you happened to read my post Magi-Community-Regrets-Resolutions, you will know that I took issue with those who respond to all situations with a blanket: God is enough. I responded, "God is enough AND God wants community." I still think that is true. I also know God is enough and bigger than all my fears. God also uses the community of saints (and sinners) to love me and strengthen me.

Writing About Your Life by William Zinsser -- I need all the help I can get. Obviously, what I need most is either the time or the will to sit down and start writing.

Old Friend from Far Away by Natalie Goldberg -- Yes, another "The Practice of Writing Memoir" Gulp, not written in. Yes, this is a "how-to" writing memories with actually exercise pages. Maybe I could put one page from a journal or memory book down on my list of "to-do" (see hearts below).

The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence -- so loved, the front cover is there but no longer attached. The copyright on this book is 1982. I may have had it longer than that. I can't say that I have read and re-read the book as much as I have constantly been reminded by the title that I can practice being aware of the presence of God.

Born for Battle by R. Arthur Mathews (copyright 1978) -- I've also had this book for a very long time. Every time I think about passing it along something happens to remind me of its value. The battle in this book is not against flesh and blood but against the spiritual forces of wickedness in heavenly places. What saved the book on the bookshelf this week was a section "God's Good Purposes in Human History" in Dallas Willard's book The Allure of Gentleness. It's too long of a discussion to post here, but I recommend Willard's book.

The Calvary Road by Roy Hession -- This is another book that I sometimes think of passing on and then I see the words I have underlined. The author, at least as he wrote the book, writes humbly and lovingly (which always draws me in) of openness and transparency.

If by Amy Carmichael -- Another little book I have had for a long time. When I pull it down, it is usually to remind myself of her poem "Love through me, Love of God" -- the second stanza is as follows:

Powers of the love of Good, 
Depths of the heart Divine, 
O Love that faileth not, break forth, 
And flood this world of Thine. 

Boundless Love by six women -- As I took the picture of this bookshelf, I wondered, "Do I have this book up here because I'm too lazy to pass it on?" So, I pull it down and start to read. The short vignettes by these women are so good. They were all grey-haired when the book came out, and I have been looking for writings by older women. The back page is a appropriate synopsis: "Our faith begins and ends with the love of God. In the face of life's struggles, how deeply we need to trust in a love greater than ourselves..."

A Heart Like His by Mike and Amy Nappa -- Written like a blog would be written, before there were blogs.

I Celebrate You, Grandmother! -- Back to the journal type of books. A gift book I found at a yard sale and couldn't pass up...even though my grandmothers died many years ago. I'm not sure what I intend to do with it! Hope my grandchildren find it and fill it in for me? Hah!

A Closer Walk by Catherine Marshall -- I keep pages 102-103 permanently bookmarked. These are the pages when Marshall discusses the day she decided to practice "fasting from criticism." Her account is hilarious (always hilarious when someone else it is happening to someone else). She writes: "My critical nature had not corrected a single one of the multitudinous things I found fault with." Those last three words are key words. Most of us, myself especially included, would not think of ourselves as critical. The word "critical" applies to someone mean, doesn't it. However, Marshall fasted from speaking out anything that day with which she found fault (whether she was right or not!). See below the dotted line for what she learned from this day.

Finally, A Time To Pray 365 Classic Prayers to help you through the year, compiled by Philip Law -- The title states it all, and I've used this book a lot.

Would I put any of these books on my Ideal Bookshelf? -- I don't know. Possibly the All Shall Be Well. Small, good quotes, good reflections.

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This morning, I wanted to accomplish as much as possible. I tend to jump from one activity to the next, getting things done, but maybe not as efficiently as possible (and forgetting some things in the middle of doing others). I have practiced making a list in the past and it has worked for me (as long as I don't lose all the little sticky notes, pieces of paper, etc.). Typically I jump from one activity to the next as they come to mind. This morning as I thought of something that needed to be done, I jotted it down on a piece of paper. This kept me from thinking of a computer activity and then finding myself still on the computer an hour later. I kept a list of everything that needed to be accomplished on the computer.

It did occur to me as my list grew that this might be overwhelming to a parent who is already overwhelmed. (One obviously can not put "change baby's diaper" on the list.) I wondered if putting one thing down per page, such as in this disposable little journal, might look more do-able. Once an action is crossed off, the page can be used again. It becomes more of a list making device than a journal, but one can look back and see how she made it through the day, and when there are encouraging words on the page to continually look at each time, an inexpensive journal (often found at the dollar store or cheaply at a yard sale) can be better than plain sheets of paper (easily lost).

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If you're looking to practice a day of fasting from criticism, it might help to read what Marshall discovered:
1) A critical spirit focuses on ourselves and makes us unhappy. We lose perspective and humor.
2) A critical spirit blocks the positive creative thoughts God longs to give us.
3) A critical spirit can prevent good relationships between individuals and often produces retaliatory criticalness.
4) Criticalness blocks the work of the Spirit of God: love, good will, mercy.
5) Whenever we see something genuinely wrong in another person's behavior, rather than criticize him or her directly, or -- far worse -- gripe about him behind his back, we should ask the Spirit of God to do the correction needed. (Marshall 104)

Fifth Day of Advent: Proclaim

Pastors, preachers, priests, must have a difficult time every year between Thanksgiving and New Year's. How does one teach a lesson that they've already taught before to the same crowd? I was a teacher, but at least I had a new crowd each year. However, I have written Advent posts before, and it was tempting today to just leave proclaiming to the picture below and resurrect an old post. 

What impelled me to write was Facebook. Yes, there's lots to dislike about social media, but, thus far, the Facebook organization allows the pages of deceased people to stay in circulation. (Stick with me here.) As I write this, I'm not deceased obviously. Yet a time will come when I am not here and it could be that my post will touch someone's life, just as saints of old made a difference in my life from an early age. 

Through stories of St. Teresa and St. Therese, the stories of St. Augustine and St. Francis, and many more, I learned how to have a relationship with God. I suppose some people cast off the relationship with God of their younger years as some friendship with an imaginary friend. I did not. The relationship was too real. And, I wasn't the only one who knew God existed. 

I did, however, like young Goodman Brown of Nathaniel Hawthorne short story fame, want to check out the wild side. I've learned that the wild side of God is quite an adventure, but back then, the world's wild side killed some of my friends and usually found me throwing up in a toilet bowl. Frankly, it just was not enjoyable. 

I cast my lot with the Christians. Now there are Christians, and there are Christians. One group follows rules and one group follows Christ. I'm trying to keep this proclaiming short, so let me just say that I know now what it is like to be in a community of those who follow Christ and his commandments: Love God; love others. 

When I ask myself, "Would you ever not believe in God?" I end up asking myself: "What do I do with situations that just can not be explained? One example: I had a dream, a detailed dream. The heart and soul of the dream was about an acquaintance (I didn't even know where he lived anymore) who I later found out was despondent, despairing, desperate, hopeless. God wanted him to know that he was loved by God and that he was not a failure.  I thought this is crazy: I can't contact this person. I don't even know if this email address is correct. Still, what if I wasn't crazy? I wrote out the entire dream (along with "please, please, please don't think I'm insane"). I received a long email back telling me the devastating failure that the young man had faced, a failure in his work that if it had not been caught by another could have led to tragedy. He was at the lowest point ever in his life. I can take no credit for reaching out to this person. Some of my teachers have rightly said that sometimes the only way God can get through to us is through dreams. If I were stronger in my hearing of God, perhaps God could have just flat out told me and I would have known what to do. Nonetheless, this was a situation that I can not explain away, and there have been others like it. 

My belief is also more than something I just proclaim or speak out. I trust Jesus not as my "get out of hell free" card, but as my friend and God whose salvation is for me daily. I was never one to think about a "life verse" but I guess I ended up with one anyway through a rather odd story that I won't tell here. 

"Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ; by whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God" Romans 5:1-2.  

Journeys, Pilgrimages, Paths

I first published this post privately on Facebook and a friend asked me if it was on my blog. It was not, so here it is for my friend and anyone else.

I felt like writing today, but it's funny how the finished piece turns out differently than first written in my head. I had to change the pictures I had first chosen as I thought about how on earth does one live her life the way Jesus would live it. My London cohort actually received this type of question during our first semester. We're stuck in an elevator with someone who asks us how to "put on Christ." Here is a portion of a fellow cohort's response: 

"Stranger: Hi...
Nick, nods.
Stranger: So anyway...I was just thinking, what does it mean to 'put on Jesus?' Is that actually possible?
He stares at Nick encouragingly. Nick says nothing.
Stranger: Well?
Nick: I'm sorry, I just find that incredibly difficult to talk about.
Stranger: Why?
Nick: Because I'm English. We never talk to strangers.
Stranger: Oh. I see.
Nick: I'm sorry. It's a genetic thing.
Stranger: Would it help if I told you that I'm not a real person? That I am, actually, an artificial construct created by a man called Gary in order to pose a question?
Nick: (Relieved and suddenly much more relaxed) Oh, in that case, fire away." 

I'm telling you my British genes grow stronger every day. I answered the question...in my own fashion...I pasted in my latest blog post at the time, a piece about "Expectantly Waiting Gone Wrong -- Day 11 of Advent." Made complete sense to me, but then it also made sense to me in elementary school to write about Santa, Greek mythology style. Have. always. marched. to. a. different. beat. 

My journey started prior to my two years of study. I read the article "Sleep Therapy" by Lauren Winner in 2006. No one had ever told me that I could stop working at a decent hour and go to sleep for 8-10 hours. Darn Puritan work ethic. Jesus wept, but Jesus also slept. Even in a storm. 

On that slippery slope to Christ-likeness, I also slowed down. Okay, so maybe freeway driving is still a work in progress, but I no longer run around as if I'm my dog chasing a squirrel. And, it is a life change that others notice because it has led to patience. I sat peacefully at the bank while they figured out how to wire pounds to a bank in England so that I could pay for my reunion stay. The bank folks kept thanking me and marveling at my patience. My response came out of several years of intentionally slowing down my pace because I trusted in Jesus that all would be well. 

The greatest change has come in the area of fear. All my life, fear has driven me. My children gifted me one year with a paranoia book. I never read it because there would be all those new things to fear! While fear can still occasionally grip me, I recognize it now. Fear no longer drives my life. I have now taken over 20 airplane flights! Fear of losing my job? Been there, done that. God sustained me. Yes, there are situations where the pool of tears are beyond my ability to cope, but God sits beside me and sends others to sit beside me. Here are three statements made in one of the final sessions at the reunion I just attended: 1) Over 1,500 x God says, "My people don't listen" 2) People are not finding listeners among Christians because we/they are too busy talking 3) In spiritual formation, we dare not forget: Listen. 

From my teacher: On this journey, "Remember, every person sits next to a pool of tears."

Sometimes we have beautiful sunny path days filled with green and flowers such as in the picture at the beginning of this post, but often days are filled with mud -- how deep and slippery it is differs for each of us.

The path with the elevation gain...ugh.

The path filled with logs: sometimes the logs are in the way; sometimes the logs are something to play on!

The path with seating in the midst of tears. 

Conquering Anger -- Part I

This angry face image came from a man blogging about his anger at the Twins (baseball team). That kind of anger baffles me. I suppose if he has money he has gambled on the game and they are losing, then that means he is losing as well. It seems like strange behavior to me since his anger can not change the outcome of the game. However, I have been angry. Many times in my life. Yet, when I read on my 365 Writing Prompts list (found not on my List Board as previously blogged; it's on my 2014? Board), the day twelve prompt was "What is making you mad?" and nothing was making mad. In fact, I was having a difficult time remembering the last time I was angry. I am sure my children or husband could tell me in an instant, but I am no longer in the habit of being mad. So, "Conquering Anger" is what I contemplated this past Sunday.

I was interrupted after writing that last sentence (interruptions in the past would have made me angry), and in the intervening time, I realized how long a post this could become! Therefore, I am just going to tackle the first situation that came to mind when I think of my anger: Exhaustion.

Exhaustion, fatigue, tiredness. As a young mom with four children, I encountered fatigue often. I was not in the best of conditions to be kind, loving, or gentle. Sad to say, I made the situation worse by adding more activities to my life at a time when I could have been trying to get some rest. Wait! Don't get mad at me if you are a stay-at-home mom! I'm just telling my story here of one of the factors that made it easy for me to embrace anger.

Even when the children were in school, and I was working outside of the home, I added too many activities. Staying busy with activities happens to be a part of my cultural upbringing. That may not be the case for all readers, but where I live, people value one another by what they accomplish.

I have learned that I have value irregardless of what I accomplish. Those of you who have read some of my previous posts know that I am currently reading a book titled The Swerve. If you believe that you are nothing but atoms, I guess it makes sense that you should live for nothing but pleasure and avoidance of pain. I just haven't quite figured out how everyone can do that all at the same time. I'm thinking as I write here (I imagine you can tell that), and accomplishing something can give a person pleasure, but again, don't we get back to this idea that one is valued because of accomplishments? Also, what do we do when what we want to accomplish conflicts with another's person's desire for accomplishment? Much of the time, we get angry.

Being angry may give temporary pleasure and get a person what he wants, but then the person or people on the receiving end experience pain. I get the impression that people are just supposed to choose to all work together so that everyone will experience pleasure at the same time. Yeah. It doesn't seem to be working.

To be blunt, it takes more faith for me to believe in the "Swerve" than it does for me to believe in a good, loving, Triune God who says I have value, not because of what I do, but because I am uniquely created. He loves for me to be the ultimate me as He created me to be. (Okay, way too much rhyming there.) He doesn't want a cookie cutter person. He doesn't want me to have to do every activity that comes my way just so I can show society that I am a person of value. And, I certainly don't have to be doing anything to earn His love.

He knows my body needs rest to be the best me, and to be the kind of person that simply does not feel driven to anger, wrath, malice, or temper tantrums.

I know there are all kinds of situations that involve times when rest is out of reach such as for the student pictured below (and here is the link to go to some sort of event planning blog that suggests eleven ways to get a good night's sleep -- you might not be able to buy a new bed #11, but the rest are do-able). But, look how long this post is already. Feel free to comment. I'll title this Part I and see where it goes from here.