Walking (Sensible Shoes by Sharon Garlough Brown)

This is the second time I have read this book, and I thought I had already reviewed it. However, I did not, and that may be a good situation. The first time I read this book, I read it as a novel directly after reading a fabulously well-written story. Bad spot to be in. Even when one brings her 'A' moves, if the one that came before was an A+, it's difficult to be valued for what you at number two brought to the game. The irony is that I do not remember the title or story of the book I read before this one. I do remember Sensible Shoes which made it all the more annoying when a friend kept asking me if I had heard of, bought, read this book. I told her three different times over the course of six months that I had. I finally decided to pick the book back up and read it again.

I'm glad I did. This time I read the book for what it is: a well-written story about walking through the spiritual journey of four women. Although as this same friend above also keeps saying, "It's not just a woman's book." Indeed, the stories of trying to be perfect, trying to help everyone, trying to escape our pasts, trying to navigate the storms of life apply to male and female alike.

I knew the first time around that the book was filled with a great deal of wisdom (from which I gained insight and changes), but the second time around I was surprised by how my opinion changed about the literary quality. Brown writes well. What takes getting accustomed to is reading a book of wisdom directly addressing spiritual journeys written in the form of a novel. Once I stopped attempting to pin the book down to a specific category, I could relate -- haha, I started to write "relax" and autocorrect popped up with "relate" so, yes, I could not only relate to the book, learn from the book, but also enjoy the literary quality of the book.

On the spiritual side, Brown does a great job of diffusing common misunderstandings about Christian spiritual formation practices, mostly through Charissa, a young married woman who is working on her Ph.D. in English literature. Charissa is caught between wanting an A (make that A+) from her professor and partaking in some unorthodox (to her) practice where she can't just check off her good behaviors on a checklist.

I gained even more insight and transforming changes -- drawing even more deeply into relationship with God -- with this second read.

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Parents (of the four main characters) do not not come off too well in this book. I just now realized this.  That's a bit sad since this story development makes it seem as if parents totally mess up our lives and they're the reason we need transformation. Even the most wonderful parent in the world can not raise a child who never grows up needing to do some changing to grow! With that flaw in the story addressed, let's just say that one can learn what direction NOT to go from the parents in this book. (And, yes, sometimes our parents did cause issues just as we did or will cause in our children's lives. It would help our children tremendously if we could heal the hurts and avoid bending in the same direction as the parents in this novel or our own parents if that is the case.)

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As mentioned above, this novel involves spiritual practices, and there are many from which to choose which makes this a book worth buying. I'll come back to it time and again as I would never attempt everything at once. One practice I've looked at before in my life, but came back to again this time, was how I view God. How one views God will drive my entire reading of the Bible and every aspect where God is mentioned to me, discussed with me, etc. One practice that came to my mind two Mother's Days ago happened because I was reading 1 Corinthians 13. Yeah, that chapter. The chapter read so often at wedding ceremonies instructing the couple to live this chapter out. I realized God has this love! With that in mind, whenever I read the Old or New Testament; whenever I or someone else is discussing God, if the picture of God that comes out of that reading or that discussion does not fit 1 Corinthians 13, I explore what is going on in my head. Where is my picture of God coming from? 

Transitioning (We Never Asked for Wings by Vanessa Diffenbaugh)

Here's the argument I have been having with myself concerning this book: Is this simply a "beach read" or is it something more?

A "beach read" book can be read without thinking while basking in the sun, and the reader can count on a happy ending. Right now I have a particular friend in mind as I picture her squirming and my imagination hears her saying, "Don't do it. Don't you dig deep and make the ending anything but happy!"

Can I at least dig deep and tell you that you can still have your happy ending?

Here's something else about beach read books: they're predictable in that bad situations do not remain bad situations. The heroine Letty, who many Goodreads reviewers can't stand, has good people help her...and good people who have to admit that they are at least partly responsible for her dysfunctional life. In this novel, enormously stupid mistakes do not end in disaster, but then again, they don't end as though they never happened.

I was ready to label the book as a feel good book just because Letty and her son Alex are helped out of their messes. Then, I wondered at why I thought tragedy is more real than goodness. I know people like Letty. I want to help them out the way Letty's coworker, Rick, does and to be cautious about helping out the way that Letty's mom does (a mom with good intentions). I also know someone like Rick. She is a bartender; she knows how to cook; she has resources the way that Rick does. It would be easy to comment that wealthy people help Letty out, but then that means the reader has forgotten that poor people helped Letty out in the beginning of the novel. What if the goodness shown in this book is what reality truly can look like?

My friend, mentioned in paragraph two, can stop reading here so that we can stay friends. While I'm glad that the social issue of immigration is brought to our attention in this book, I have issues with a person with physical challenges being used to bring about growth in a main character. While Yesenia is more developed than characters like her used to be in novels; still...well, I can't say more without including some spoilers.

For those interested in the Enneagram, I find thinking about the Enneagram numbers of these characters intriguing. Letty's mom provides a good view of what helping (Enneagram #2) gone wrong looks like while Rick is a solid view of what good helping looks like. Alex tries to be a reformer, and just like an Enneagram #1 gone overboard, he makes a mess of things.

I chose "Transitioning" for the title of this review rather than "Grounding and Flying" or "Planting and Flying." Planting and Flying tying into the idea of the two characteristics our children need: roots and wings. Frankly, I'm not sure anyone has been given roots at the beginning of this novel. However,  transitions are plentiful in this novel. How we react to transitions directs our stories.
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So many lessons can be gleaned from this novel. The challenge is not to swing far over to one side or the other -- being neither a "helicopter" parent constantly hovering nor being a military general to avoid having a child like Luna! Finding out what drives our children and encouraging them while helping them avoid the pitfalls. Is he a reformer? Is she a helper? Is he a performer? Is she an artist? Is he a researcher? Etc. (And, of course, switch the pronouns as needed.)

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So many opportunities for social justice exist, I won't single out one. A good practice is to find what one is passionate about and get involved. It's also good to realize a person can not help out with everything. Be patient and loving with people who do not get on the same social justice train that you do. Let's support each other in the best way that we can, and know that it takes all of us to work on the parts that we can to fight against all the social injustice that occurs in the world today.

Opting Out of Resolutions; Opting In to Encouragement

If you have broken any of your resolutions made a mere 18 days ago, you are not alone. Some have even taken to tweeting their failures. Failures. That's my issue with resolutions. Either you accomplish them or you fail. I've opted out of resolution making for a number of years now, but it's only this year that I have replaced resolution making with something else: Keeping track, hopefully on paper, of what went well each day and where I need new strategies. If I don't write it down, then I'm at least practicing thinking about these two questions:

1) What went well today?
2) Where do I need new strategies?

Resolutions don't have solutions. I know: the sentence sounds cheesy and trite, but it helps me remember what I'm looking for: solutions, not failure. Failure needs to be an option. Yes, many of us have heard the famous quote: "Failure is not an option," but the person saying that had a great deal of practice (read: failures) before the day arrived when the practice boiled down to a moment in time when it was important not to fail.

A resolution that makes its way onto the top ten resolutions list every year is "Stop Smoking." It's a great resolution, but some folks don't realize the average smoker quits 8 to 10 times before succeeding. If we looked at resolutions in the same light as we would an inventor or a scientist, we would expect a great deal of failed attempts. Like a scientist, I have a vision of what I want to see happen and I am encouraging myself in that goal, that vision, by continuing what is leading me closer and considering how I can change what went awry by practicing a new strategy. This is what that looked like in my life the first day I tried it.

You might not have any problem calling people, or making your bed, or picking up clothes, but I've never liked using the telephone. Texting was God's gift to me! Maybe you made it an hour without smoking...or gossiping...or eating something unhealthy. Maybe you got out of bed 5 minutes earlier than the day before or gave your son or daughter your undivided attention. Maybe you took the time to be grateful or kind or patient. Did you look up and notice something beautiful outside your window? Did you attempt to smile at the barista? (Please smile at the barista. My daughter is one.) Whatever you did well, no matter how small, it was a step in the right direction.

Then, get creative about strategies for what didn't go the way you had hoped or planned. As it turned out, keeping a running list of actions to do works for me. It helps if I gather up all that I need to do on the computer and wait to do them later in the day. When I start off my day with social media, the rest of my day runs amuck. The next step for me is to make list-making a habit. I know it works for me; I'm just not in the habit of doing it.

As mentioned in my last blog post, I trust that people can change -- with encouragement, practicing falling down and getting back up, one day at a time, one step at a time. 

I Begin Yet Again for the 3rd? 4th? Time

I've used this title before "I Begin Again." It's an appropriate title for continuing to write after close to two years of silence. It's also an appropriate title for explaining the work of Christ-centered spiritual formation. Each morning (not just for the third or fourth time, but again and again and again), I begin again.

And, God meets me, right where I am. Today, as I was struggling to begin again, forgetting much of what I had learned about how to set up a blog and working with a computer that needs to be updated fully, I had given up being able to find and upload an image of "His mercies are new every morning." I had decided to skip the image (and leave off writing) but to check out the blogs I recommend on my page. There on Learning Along the Way Coaching's post from yesterday -- "Finish Well"-- was this image. God used Lisa Lewis's finishing well on her 31 days of blogging to encourage me as I strive to begin yet again.

You might have had a bad day yesterday, this past week...month...year...you might be in the midst of a struggle this minute. Begin again...and again...and again. As I begin writing again, I hope to explore what Christ-centered spiritual formation looks like -- on the slow track. And, I hope to keep it short (yes, I know, you'll believe it when you see it).