Racing (Proof by Dick Francis)

"Racing" in this title refers to the world of horse racing in the book, but it can also refer to me racing to catch up with posting about what I have been reading. I have never stopped reading (even if it meant reading cereal boxes during my childrearing years); however, writing (as I recently read) quickly turns into a long and boring practice (which...cough...often spills over into this blog). Therefore, let me race through this review.

My local library book group periodically mentions Dick Francis, yet I never picked up any of his books until this year when I was looking for a book written in 1984. Of course, I looked up the 1984 booklist on Goodreads and saw this one Proof by Dick Francis. Mysteries, detective work, etc. don't usually appeal to me -- too much blood and guts, and I'm horrible at solving the mystery.

I did not solve the mystery (before it was revealed) in Proof either; however, the story of whiskey and wine being stolen, the additional background of horse racing, and, more importantly, an actual mystery written with more character development than blood and guts, kept me interested...so much so that I was disappointed to find out that Francis had not continued writing books about these characters. They would be perfect for a television series (since I can't read more about them in books). This book was #2 in the 52 Books in 52 Weeks Challenge, and it was going to be my book outside my genre comfort zone on the 2019 Modern Mrs. Darcy Reading Challenge. Since then I have found another book farther outside my comfort zone. Proof is a mellow, enjoyable read. I give it 4 stars which equals "Really good. I am returning it to the library, but I did recommend it to someone who bought the ebook version (for cheap), and if I saw it (not ebook) at a thrift store price, I would buy it." Interesting side note: the pages in this hardbound copy are super thick. I like quality paper, but these were almost too thick.

💕💕💕 Family section: I can't reveal all without including a plot spoiler, but Proof includes the protagonist's struggle with living up to his father. The conclusion is much better (thought-provoking) than one expects in a mystery novel. We all tend to have someone we try to whom we try to measure up, and sometimes we discover that that person had those very same feelings.

--- Thought-provoking spiritual formation quote: "To err was human, to be easily forgiven was to be sentimentally set free to err again. To be repeatedly forgiven destroyed the soul" (158). 

Raining (Rain of Gold by Victor Villaseñor)

This book was recommended to me by a family member, and she is right: the story is very good. I borrowed it from the library, and while I won't be buying it new, if I ever saw it on sale or at a used book shop, I would immediately buy it.

The story itself and the real people are fascinating. An added benefit was the amount of history (history in Mexico as well as prohibition history in the US) I learned. Most of the reviewers give this book a high rating. Of the two I saw who disliked the book, one person couldn't stand the mothers and thought they were evil. What?! The mothers are the life of the story not to mention the life of their families! Another reviewer mentioned the dialogue and writing style, specifically mentioning about "true love". 99.9 percent of us do not talk like characters in a television show. We're not witty or eloquent. The way the book is written made me believe the story as the non-fiction it is. This isn't to say that the dialogue is boring. While Villaseñor's family members sometimes repeat themselves, they have plenty of interesting, raucous, thought-provoking conversations.

The story also opens up the reader's eyes to what it can take to survive (and it isn't pretty). The reader also has to be willing to read dialogue that includes not only cuss words but also words of faith which these families have in plenty.

Most book discussion groups don't take on such large size books (562 pages), but lots of good topics of discussion in this book: what happens when a precious metal like gold is discovered, immigration (used to cost an adult Mexican 10 cents to get across the border and 5 cents for a child), how people treat each other, racial inequality, family dynamics, education. I enjoyed reading the author's notes at the end: which family members helped with the story, who remembered what differently.

Quotes that could also be used in a discussion group: "Blood is blood, but justice is justice. And Don Pio never let blood blind his eyes to justice" (127).
"Remember to respect a fallen star takes much more dignity than to admire the rising sun" (175).
"Oh, mi hijita, you woman of such little faith! God respects my honesty that I admit that I lie. He's a hundred thousand years tired of people preaching the truth in His home, but then lying to all the world once they get away from the shadow of His domain!" (377).

Since a number of my family members and friends are Hispanic (and I knew some of the areas mentioned in the book), I wondered if their extended family members knew or where a part of any of the families mentioned in this book. I can think of at least one family member who would be intrigued with reading this book.

💕💕💕 When I was in college the second time around, I took a foundational education course, and we did an activity where we all had color dots on our foreheads. We did not know which dot was on our own forehead but we could see everyone else's dot. We had instructions on how to treat classmates according to their dots. Ignore the blues. Be friends with the yellows. In an Exceptional Child class, we had to have some change which would make it more difficult for us to go out shopping and interact with people (broken leg, deafness, blindness). We all understand to some extent what it is like to be the not-popular student (unless you've always been the popular one). If we already have something genetic that hinders our interaction, we know how that feels, but many of the adults in my class did not. These are activities that can only be approached cautiously in a classroom; however, in a homeschooling community, we could even practice within limits what it would be like to be poor, even be a slave. Of course, it's not real, right? We know we will go back to being a free person, but anything that doesn't cause harm but will help open one's eyes to at least start understanding what it is like to be an outsider is a benefit to a child's empathy for others. Reading stories, traveling to other countries, helpful, as long as one does not take on an attitude of "I'm so important; I'm helping the downtrodden and unfortunate" as though others have less intelligence or knowledge or wisdom than we do. The families in this book, Rain of Gold, are smart, resourceful, wise, and hardworking. They just did not have money.

---Diving into the stream of social justice is a transformative practice. How to do it with humility takes thought and a tender heart. Still worth pursuing even if we're not at the point of humility yet. Being a genuine person to the people one meets as one shops at a store in a section of town where one does not normally shop might be a good start. I'm not to the point where I could go to the scariest parts of metropolitan cities, but any of the areas in my own county would be safe so I have no excuse. Also, if I was living back in my former home area, I would think going one section of town over from my own would be a good start. 

Siblings (Calypso by David Sedaris)

I know, I know; the word "siblings" may have an 'ing' in it, but it is not a gerund. Nonetheless, it fits too well for me to get hemmed in by details like grammatical rules. In my family, we could make a gerund of it: "I think she just siblinged you!" And, my siblings would instantly understand.

Did you know that calypso can mean "a type of West Indian song whose words are often invented as the song is sung" which actually fits Sedaris's books -- they come about as his song of life is sung. However, Calypso comes from the name of his cat, not the name he gave his cat, but the name his neighbors gave the cat who had a secret life apart from its life with Sedaris (for fans of etymology, Sedaris has some fairly intelligent neighbors as the original Greek means "she that conceals; to cover, conceal").

I did not actually intend the picture to go with concealment. I was going for a West Indian feel, all part of image management; I can't just post a picture of the cover, can I?

Let me return to siblings. This is my family. No, not literally my family, but it could be my family except, thankfully, my mother is still with us. Therefore, it is difficult to criticize anything that comes so close to home. Also, it's a memoir and even my students knew (or if they didn't, they really would have benefited from figuring this out), I do not like to downgrade anyone's writings when the stories come from the heart. Don't immediately assume I hated the book (family, you know).

But, it is a type of memoir, even in essay form, and I'm not a fan of memoirs. (Thus, my three star rating.) I usually don't finish reading them. I finished reading this because I couldn't stop reading it. Reviewers who read Sedaris say that this is his most introspective, darkest humor...and not to start with this book as an introduction to Sedaris. Too late for that advice. He is funny...and, yes, back to family. His family reminds me of my family.

Yet, the turtle. I can't get over the turtle incident. That is not like my family. And, the incident with his sister. I want to be mad at him about that. I want to think that none of my siblings would ever do that to another one. I discussed it with one of my sisters. When is "tough love" truly love and when is it a euphemism for "downright mean"?

I've bookmarked page 91 a conversation between Sedaris and his partner Hugh:

Sedaris writes, "It's not that our father waited till this late in the game to win our hearts. It's that he's succeeding." Sedaris then starts complaining to Hugh: "'But he didn't used to be this nice and agreeable.'

'Well, he is now,' he [Hugh] said. 'What can't you let people change?'"

Sedaris comments: "This is akin to another of his often asked questions: 'Why do you choose to remember the negative rather than the positive?'

'I don't,' I [Sedaris] insist, thinking, I will never forget your giving me such a hard time over this.

Honestly, though, does choice even come into it? Is it my fault that the good times fade to nothing while the bad ones burn forever bright? Memory aside, the negative just makes for a better story..." Sedaris concludes.

So, either confession is good for Sedaris's soul or all the negative stuff makes for a better story or both. I could have done without any essays on bodily functions, but, again, sigh, family. I could do without the bodily discussions in my own family, except when my sisters get going during a sibling reunion and they crack me up. Sometimes it's funny until it's not, and there are parts of this book (for some, the whole book) that are not going to be funny. There are plenty of 4-5 star reviews for this book (and that's how I ended up choosing it from Book of the Month Club). This is for those who want to read a review with a lower amount of stars.

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
This is my "raising children" section, and whether one would normally pick up this book to read or not, it really has some family stories to get a parent thinking. If you only read books on your "acceptable" list, books that probably say what you think anyway, then you're not going to be challenged to think through your parental practices. This book can give you a chance to think through how you feel about tough love, how you feel about people changing, how you feel about life now and life in the future. It's somewhat like being immersed in one's own culture, one can't see where your culture misses the mark, but go to another culture, and you see with different eyes. Still, there are parts that will gross out some readers (me included). I would like to say that we raised our children not to be gross, but...family.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On a more serious note, spiritual transformation. I have to wonder, without casting stones because I have to practice how to avoid this as well, whether or not the incident with Sedaris's sister had anything at all to do with image management. Was it tough love or was Sedaris concerned about what his sister would do in front of all those people if he let her in? I'm not sure I know of any adults who are totally oblivious when it comes to their images. How people see us matters a lot to us. Before I went through a spiritual formation institute (this one at Renovaré), I had never heard of a practice to learn indirectly how to push back against image management when it truly mattered. One practice is not to go back and fix an email or a media post when the reason to fix it would be to fix one's image. If autocorrect really messed up something, then, yes, by all means, editing is called for; however, there are times when what we need to practice is to practice truly being kind not just our image of being kind.

Word, Star Word

My parents, and my friends' parents taught us this little ditty: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." I have no idea where the saying came from, but it is not true. Words can hurt, and words can heal, mend, help, and inspire.

Joanne Rogers's forward to The World According to Mister Rogers starts with this quote by Bessie Anderson Stanley:

"He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much, who has enjoyed the trust of pure women, the respect of intelligent men, and the love of little children, who has filled his niche and accomplished his task, who has left the world better than he found it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul, who has never lacked appreciation of Earth's beauty or failed to express it, who has always looked for the best in others and given them the best he had, whose life was an inspiration, whose memory a benediction."

Since words do have impact, I would add that the English language still has a challenge in ensuring that the "He" with which this quote begins also applies to "She," and each gender can enjoy the trust of pure women or pure men and the respect of intelligent men and women.

Joanne -- Mrs. Fred Rogers -- explains: "There were always quotes like that tucked away in Fred's wallet, next to his neatly folded bills, or in the pages of his daily planner book. Perhaps he liked having words of wisdom close to him, as if he wanted -- or needed -- to be constantly reminded of what was important in life. The outside world may have thought his qualities of wisdom and strength came naturally to him, but those close to him knew that he was constantly striving to be the best that he could be. He was as human as the rest of us" (1-2).

This post is not a review of that book. I only read those first two pages yesterday and intend to save this small size book for those weeks during the 52 Books in 52 Weeks Challenge when I'm not going to be able to finish a larger size book!

This post is about words. A word, actually. A word on a star. My word on a star last year was "Newness." You can read about last year's word here: This Isn't the Newness I Signed Up For.

I attend a small church and a big church. Big churches offer a lot, but small churches can also offer activities that would be difficult for mega churches: activities like ones where stars are placed all over the church. After service, those who want a star, take one off of the wall (or window sill or door jamb) and turn it over to reveal a word that can be used in meditation with God throughout the year.

I started thinking about this year's star last night while I was desperately trying to get to sleep (and berating myself for drinking coffee late in the afternoon). I thought about how I should go about picking my star: by color? by location within the church? I thought about what word I might get. There are over 400 words, and I was trying to prepare for the word I would get!

The word I picked up was not one that crossed my mind; however, first, I will explain how I decided. I came to church and said to myself: "I would like a star from around the beautiful stained glass window of Jesus and the woman." Next,  I thought about color: Not purple because for some reason I was thinking I already had a purple star, but that was the color of my granddaughter's star last year (she had "thankfulness"). I was drawn to a teal-colored star on the left and then a black star on the corner. (I really like black as my children know. They used to accuse me of only owning clothing in shades of black.) Meanwhile, the service began and I glanced at the stars in front of me. My eyes were drawn to a deep red star. I must explain that reds and pinks have never been my favorite colors...until the past two years. I have fallen in love with a deep red. My Christmas tree this year had deep red ornaments and twinkly white lights. Very typical Christmas colors, but highly unusual for me.

I chose a deep red star, turned it over, and read "Forgiveness." If you've read my blog for any length of time, you will know my reaction was one of my default reactions: "Oh no! Who or what am I going to have to forgive this year? From whom am I going to need to ask forgiveness?" I tend to jump  off the deep end in my immediate reactions. (For readers in other countries who may not have this saying, it refers to swimmers, usually beginners, who jump into the deep end of the pool to their detriment rather than learning to swim slowly stroke by stroke.)

After my immediate "Oh my life is going to fall apart" reaction, I settle into a calmer "Well, Lord God, this is going to be an interesting year." Here is my star in its star place:

I close by telling you that I love this picture above. So much is represented here: my husband and I (in our younger years at Christmas); items from Russia, England, and Japan; items old  from grandparents, aunt,  my childhood, my children's childhoods; handcrafted items; and items from special events. Nestled among those memories: a star of "newness" and now a star of "forgiveness."

It's an important word. I'll let you know come December 2018 how life turns out. Lord willing.