Preventing and Reversing (The End of Alzheimer's by Dale E. Bredesen)

I highly recommend this book not only for those whose family medical history includes Alzheimer's but also for those interested in possible ideas for other chronic illnesses. This is an incredibly hope-filled book. It is also a book which cites research and uses medical terms. I want that in any book about health that I read. If you do not, I noticed a concise version of this book offered on Amazon. It's possible that it leaves out the the medical vocabulary and the narrative remains. (I can not confirm that this is true; I'm just guessing that a shorter book might skim down the research.)

What Bedesen has to say made sense to me from the beginning, and after reading pages of logical reasoning based on research and results, I was still in agreement when he writes on page 272: "For centuries, we humans typically died from acute infections such as bacterial pneumonia, and the great biomedical success of the twentieth century was to develop antibiotics that treat them and public health policies that prevent them. As a result, most of us now die from chronic, complex illnesses such as cancer, cardiovascular disease, and neurodegenerative disorders. Unfortunately, we tried to solve the problem of chronic illness in the same way we solved the problem of acute illness: with a single pill, monotherapy. This is like using your checkers strategy in a chess match."

I also think it is human nature to want the quick one-size-fits-all solution, whether we're discussing health, education, child-rearing, or spiritual formation. An integrated, personalized approach takes time and work. Wouldn't it be nice if all of life could be solved with one pill? But, we are complex beings, uniquely made. My siblings and I are engaging on a journey, each journey unique to each, of seeking healing, mending, and thriving. We've just begun so we don't have a lot to say as yet (and I'm the most verbal -- imagine that); however, you can check on our journeys at Heal, Mend, Thrive .

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As I indicated above, I now truly believe in an integrated, personalized approach to child rearing. I did not learn that early enough in my child rearing days even though I had indications that this was the case. A story I tell that some friends have heard often involves my art drawer for my children. From the moment I gave birth to my first son and continuing with each child thereafter, I had a large art drawer in one of the bottom row of kitchen drawers. Inside this drawer was everything a child could need to be creative: paper, crayons, scissors, etc. The first two children were creative to their hearts' content and never used any of the tools poorly. I thought it was the way I was raising my children. Ha! The third child came along and wrote her name, engraved her name, on many places other than a piece of paper (bunk bed, coffee table, walls). This child graduated with a degree in art history. The fourth child came along and cut her hair! She also graduated with a degree, but, no, she is not a beautician. Same child rearing, different children.

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I'm always amazed when Christ-following spiritual leaders have a one-size-fits-all take on spiritual formation. Usually this is read your bible, get into a small community group, and go out and witness. I have no argument with "read your bible" but research shows that a vast number of Christians do not, and I believe that it has to do with trying to read the bible like a textbook. I have no argument with small community groups, but how they are put together and what happens inside may be problematic. With the statement, "Go out and witness" -- I have arguments against that I'd rather not go into here except to simply say the way that most Christians witness causes more harm than good. And, probably the most important connection to the a theme in the non-fiction book above? Integrated personalized practices that draw people to God: sleeping, slowing down, silence, fasting from criticism (oops!), among many others -- practices that integrate with personalized practices of reading the bible, being in community, and being the kind of person that people want to know why you are so wonderfully loving, kind, gentle, self-controlled, helpful, and good.

Constant Comparisons and Cutthroat Competition Crushes Compassion

My last post left me unsatisfied. Fasting from "snipping" or "giving my opinion"isn't a bad idea. I love how Catherine Marshall wrote about her day of fasting from giving her opinion--she didn't know how 24 hours of holding her tongue could be so hard! Nonetheless, I think I want to dig deeper. I started listing reasons I would have for responding like the women did to the mother of a two-year-old.

1) I truly think the mother of the teenagers was trying to be loving and kind. I imagine her hope was that moms of little ones may have it tough now, but maybe that means their tough days will be during the years when you can still pick the children up, hug them, and put them to bed.

2) Hopefully, the mother of teenagers was not saying, "You may think it's rough now, but, boy oh boy, wait until they hit the teenage years!" I am fairly sure that something similar has passed through my lips. Now, as I look at a statement like that, I am really competing for whose life is the most challenging. I would like to give myself the benefit of the doubt and say I am commiserating with the moms of young children. Essentially I am trying to say that I understand their pain because I am in pain, too. It is obvious from the harsh responses of the moms of babies that they were not comforted. I need to learn from their responses because I want to be a person whose words bring love and light, not cause harm.

How often I play the comparison game or the competition game. Why? Sometimes I use my challenges because I feel I am being pushed to do something I just can not or do not want to do. Instead of looking to Jesus for direction in my life and simply letting my "yes" be "yes" and my "no" be "no," I compete for whose life is busiest.

Or, I compare my life with someone else's and I look for all the reasons I fall short when I need to listen to the Holy Spirit, who does not use words such as, "Girl, you just fell short. What's wrong with you anyway?" In defensive mode, I spell out how challenging my life is, which it very probably is, because life is tough, but this means the other person is going through tough times as well. I can turn to Jesus to speak words of love and compassion.

I love how Frank Laubach writes in his letter (9 March 1930): "...His question is, 'How far will this man and that woman allow me to carry this hour?'" 

"But how 'practical' is this for the average man? It seems to me now that yonder plowman could be like Calixto Sanidad, when he was a lonesome and mistreated plowboy, 'with my eyes on the furrow, and my hands on the lines, but my thoughts on God.' The carpenter could be as full of God as was Christ when he drove nails...Some hour spent by some night watchman might be the most glorious ever lived on earth. God is not through yet. He is breaking through.."

Wherever I am at: as the pregnant mom with 3 children at home whose "water" broke at the same time that the toilet overflowed (yes, it really did happen), as the mom of 4 teenagers pushing the boundaries while the husband is working overtime hours, as the woman who loses her job and her community when a new boss streamlines the company, in all these my eyes can be on Jesus who keeps me in His peace and His grace as I turn to Him moment by moment. And, when I forget, He lovingly calls me back.

The photo in this post was taken many years ago when my boys were young and decided to change pajamas with one another. I find that I often try to "change clothes with someone else." Not physically of course, but I compare my life to someone else's. I look at their "outsides" and think if they had my life, then...

I put "my clothes" onto them.

Or, I think if I had their lives -- I put on "their clothes" -- then...

Somehow I miss the fact that I end up looking like my boys do in this picture.

I have no need to compete; I have no need to compare. I am His Beloved. He calls me by name; I am His. My identity is in Him. He sustains me as I practice slowing my mind down long enough to hear Him speak so lovingly to me. Often that means not rushing my steps, not rushing my hands, not rushing my words -- that conscious practice of slowing down when it is possible makes it easier to hear His voice when life seems impossible...or when a compassionate word is needed.  

Who Has the Greatest Challenge?

A couple of days ago, I read a touching blog by a mother who wrote well on how difficult life is with a baby. Her desire was to let others know that she understood. Moms of young children do not need to suffer alone in their pain. It was meant to be comforting. The comments, however, that followed looked like a new version of the mommy wars -- this time not between working moms and stay-at-home moms, but between moms whose challenges were during the first two years, moms whose challenges were during the teenage years, and moms whose challenges were in between.

As you look at this picture of my father with three of my four children, notice these things: the mess (I tried to cut out as much as I could), the undecorated walls (not my gift), my son's wild hair, and the oldest son (yes, you're right; he is not even in the picture). If you think I am now going to tell you that this, this, is truly the most challenging season, you're wrong. "Each day has enough problems of its own." Oh yeah. Notice how three days ago, I said I was going to post everyday? Two days in a row. That's as far as I went this time around. Skipped yesterday. We're trying again today.

There are enough sorrows to go around in the world without snipping at one another. Frank Laubach starts his March 9th entry with these words: For the first time in my life I know what I must do off in lonesome Lanao. I know why God left this aching void, for Himself to fill." [underlining mine]

What doesn't show in his book of Letters is that Laubach suffered many depressing days. He was lonesome. He ached. No matter whether one is a mom of young babies or a dad of teenagers, whether one is 21, 35, 42, 56, you name the age and the condition: each day has enough problems of its own. There are seasons of joy and seasons of struggles and pain. Let's pursue peace and grace in Christ Jesus. And, the first small step we can take is to fast from snipping at one another.