Friday, June 29, 2018

Retiring and Transitioning (Next by Vanderbloemen and Bird)

The short version of how I came to be reading this book: I thoroughly disliked hearing the statement: "All pastors are interim pastors." Wait! Don't stop reading because I used the word "pastor." I promise that this post will apply to all, not just pastors.


I still don't like the statement as used by authors Vanderbloemen and Bird. While I have dear friends who are wonderful interim pastors, I think the use of it in the book carries with it a negative feeling even if the authors do not intend to write in that way.

In this case, why do I give the book three stars which means I like the book? I would go so far as to say, for pastors and churches the rating is 4-5 stars and a necessary book to read. As someone not on an elder board and not a pastor, I appreciated the ideas in the book to know how to help a community of faith and a workplace community. I appreciated being challenged to think about how we all need to build bridges for others.

For the first two communities mentioned above, I like to think of leaders moving on in the best of circumstances as a time of commencement. They are about to begin a new part of their journey in life and how can the leaders bless their community and how can the community bless them. In the worst case situations, dealing with grief within a community is needful. For good or for ill, being prepared from the moment a leader takes up his or her position is the great idea conveyed by this book. The authors do go into every nitty gritty detail (money, loss of momentum, etc.) As one reviewer put it, for a book about pastoring, it seems like the the authors deem a good succession as one with continued tithing and continued growth. I have to wonder about some of the examples in the book: what happened to love God and love others.

The takeaway for me in this book is how does anyone: a parent, a woman or man, a employer, a leader, and, yes, a pastor, leave a legacy, not of wealth but of that which she or he has contributed to the world just being who they are and what they have been doing on this journey? Our unique identity can not be passed on, nor should we want it to be, but people are going to continue on without us. How can we make those transitions as smooth as possible for them?

Vanderbloemen and Bird's last chapters are some of the best. On page 171-172 of the next-to-the-last chapter, they bring in the work of William Bridges, an authority on change and transition "[who] helps us understand the emotional side of those transitions. He argues that the single biggest reason organizational changes fail is that no one has thought about endings or planned to manage their impact on people. His argument is that changes don't do you in. Rather transitions do you in.

"He explains the way the concepts differ. Change is situational....new location...retirement...reorganization...a shift...Transition is psychological. It is a process people go through as they internalize and come to terms with the details of the new situation the change brings about."

I have just participated in seeing a community carry out V&B's suggestions well: The pastor and his family verbalized a personal goodbye, the community had opportunities to say goodbye and to honor the pastor and his family. The grief of the community was and is being recognized. The pastor and family was gifted and blessed.

I wanted to include the beautiful words spoken during these celebrations and services but it would make the post too long so if you know me personally and would like me to get those to you, I will. If I don't know you, but you ask in the comment section, I will start putting those in my replies in the comment section.

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

I've mentioned in this section before the need to know who would take care of your children if something were to happen to you. My children are grown so now my concern about what comes next is not to leave them with too many of my possessions to go through and try to get rid of or find places for. Also, as I think about my job, how can I make it easier for the person who one day will follow me? And, those who follow behind me will have their own contributions to make, but how can I leave my little section of the path clear so that they can more easily extend the path and travel farther than I could go?

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HUMILITY -- oh, does preparing for one's successor take humility. To practice little habits daily so that when that day comes, we can do so with grace and love and peace -- this, this is following Christ.
My indirect ways of practicing humility have been in choosing to get in the slow line at grocer's stores and letting people with less groceries than I to go ahead of me. Humility. Why is my time so much more than other people's time? Read the book Leadership and Self-Deception (link to the review here). When we take action which lacks humility, we want to make the others as people not like us, people who deserved whatever action we took.

Another little indirect step toward humility I took yesterday involved the dish soap. Yes, the dish soap. I tend to leave it out on the counter. My spouse loves tidiness. He mentioned that he is always putting it away. Please note that he did not say it to "put me in my place". It's not a slippery slope toward slavery if I choose to put the dish soap away as an indirect way to practice humility. This may not be a good practice for someone with an abusive spouse. I'm a creative messy person and my spouse likes some order. I'm not ready for a hoarding reality show, and he's not ready for psychological care; we're just different and  I'm confident in myself and my abilities; therefore, for me, putting away the dish soap is a practice I thought I would try. You can figure out your own small step of practicing humility.  

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