I checked this book out of my local library and read it at the end of March. If I can find a book at the library, I like to read them first to see if I actually want to spend my money to buy it and keep it on my shelves forever. Since this book received a high rating from a friend who does not give books high marks, I thought this latest book of Brown's might be a keeper. As I read it, I was sure that I was going to order my own copy. However, it is now the middle of April and as I prepared to write this review, at first I could not think of what was in the book!
I sat with this thought (or lack thereof) and then some of the contents came back to me. Stand up for what you believe AND be kind (my paraphrase). As some reviewers stated, the book doesn't contain earth-shaking new information, but reminders are good. In the social media that I participate in, I see people standing up for what they believe, and they are definitely not kind. Plus, the stories in Brown's book resonated with my life. Christians castigate Brown for cussing and non-Christian cussers castigate her for her faith. I can just imagine what some of my friends and acquaintances think of my social media posts ("How could she post that and still be ....?") or of my reviews ("She read that book?"). Brown favors no one in this book (in spite of what some reviewers wrote). No matter what side of an argument one falls on, there will be someone on that side who is downright mean in their anger.
As for the comments that it is a highly American book, the examples are definitely from American life; however, disagreements and injustice are universals. The greatest world leaders that I know of have stood against injustice and have exhibited love.
If you're looking for research data, this is not the book for you. Brown refers to her research but does not include the data (even qualitative research includes data). This is more of a summary in narrative form of what she has learned. It would make a great book discussion group read. Also, see the comments below for how I think this book is formational.
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So often in raising young children, we strive to teach them to be kind. I wonder if we teach them to be kind at the cost of teaching them how to courageously stand against injustice? Then, as they grow older and they're naturally prone to want to argue, in classrooms, they are similarly quite often taught how to debate.
How can we, instead, teach them from a young age and beyond how to "reason together." Dallas Willard is one of my favorite authors and teachers. As a superior philosopher, he would have been able to demolish many an argument in a debate; however, I heard him say not only in person at a conference, but also in recorded teaching sessions, that he would not debate someone. If someone wanted to have a discussion and seek out the truth together, he was all for that.
Think about: have you ever known a debate to win someone over? I'm sure that someone somewhere has, but numbers-wise, more people have been won over to a different opinion by being seen and being listened to.
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I think I've put this spiritual formation practice in this section before, but it bears repeating. Try going an entire day listening to others without critiquing them, contradicting them, debating them. Reflect on what you learn from such a day.
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