I know, I know; the word "siblings" may have an 'ing' in it, but it is not a gerund. Nonetheless, it fits too well for me to get hemmed in by details like grammatical rules. In my family, we could make a gerund of it: "I think she just siblinged you!" And, my siblings would instantly understand.
Did you know that calypso can mean "a type of West Indian song whose words are often invented as the song is sung" which actually fits Sedaris's books -- they come about as his song of life is sung. However, Calypso comes from the name of his cat, not the name he gave his cat, but the name his neighbors gave the cat who had a secret life apart from its life with Sedaris (for fans of etymology, Sedaris has some fairly intelligent neighbors as the original Greek means "she that conceals; to cover, conceal").
I did not actually intend the picture to go with concealment. I was going for a West Indian feel, all part of image management; I can't just post a picture of the cover, can I?
Let me return to siblings. This is my family. No, not literally my family, but it could be my family except, thankfully, my mother is still with us. Therefore, it is difficult to criticize anything that comes so close to home. Also, it's a memoir and even my students knew (or if they didn't, they really would have benefited from figuring this out), I do not like to downgrade anyone's writings when the stories come from the heart. Don't immediately assume I hated the book (family, you know).
But, it is a type of memoir, even in essay form, and I'm not a fan of memoirs. (Thus, my three star rating.) I usually don't finish reading them. I finished reading this because I couldn't stop reading it. Reviewers who read Sedaris say that this is his most introspective, darkest humor...and not to start with this book as an introduction to Sedaris. Too late for that advice. He is funny...and, yes, back to family. His family reminds me of my family.
Yet, the turtle. I can't get over the turtle incident. That is not like my family. And, the incident with his sister. I want to be mad at him about that. I want to think that none of my siblings would ever do that to another one. I discussed it with one of my sisters. When is "tough love" truly love and when is it a euphemism for "downright mean"?
I've bookmarked page 91 a conversation between Sedaris and his partner Hugh:
Sedaris writes, "It's not that our father waited till this late in the game to win our hearts. It's that he's succeeding." Sedaris then starts complaining to Hugh: "'But he didn't used to be this nice and agreeable.'
'Well, he is now,' he [Hugh] said. 'What can't you let people change?'"
Sedaris comments: "This is akin to another of his often asked questions: 'Why do you choose to remember the negative rather than the positive?'
'I don't,' I [Sedaris] insist, thinking, I will never forget your giving me such a hard time over this.
Honestly, though, does choice even come into it? Is it my fault that the good times fade to nothing while the bad ones burn forever bright? Memory aside, the negative just makes for a better story..." Sedaris concludes.
So, either confession is good for Sedaris's soul or all the negative stuff makes for a better story or both. I could have done without any essays on bodily functions, but, again, sigh, family. I could do without the bodily discussions in my own family, except when my sisters get going during a sibling reunion and they crack me up. Sometimes it's funny until it's not, and there are parts of this book (for some, the whole book) that are not going to be funny. There are plenty of 4-5 star reviews for this book (and that's how I ended up choosing it from Book of the Month Club). This is for those who want to read a review with a lower amount of stars.
💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
This is my "raising children" section, and whether one would normally pick up this book to read or not, it really has some family stories to get a parent thinking. If you only read books on your "acceptable" list, books that probably say what you think anyway, then you're not going to be challenged to think through your parental practices. This book can give you a chance to think through how you feel about tough love, how you feel about people changing, how you feel about life now and life in the future. It's somewhat like being immersed in one's own culture, one can't see where your culture misses the mark, but go to another culture, and you see with different eyes. Still, there are parts that will gross out some readers (me included). I would like to say that we raised our children not to be gross, but...family.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On a more serious note, spiritual transformation. I have to wonder, without casting stones because I have to practice how to avoid this as well, whether or not the incident with Sedaris's sister had anything at all to do with image management. Was it tough love or was Sedaris concerned about what his sister would do in front of all those people if he let her in? I'm not sure I know of any adults who are totally oblivious when it comes to their images. How people see us matters a lot to us. Before I went through a spiritual formation institute (this one at Renovaré), I had never heard of a practice to learn indirectly how to push back against image management when it truly mattered. One practice is not to go back and fix an email or a media post when the reason to fix it would be to fix one's image. If autocorrect really messed up something, then, yes, by all means, editing is called for; however, there are times when what we need to practice is to practice truly being kind not just our image of being kind.
Did you know that calypso can mean "a type of West Indian song whose words are often invented as the song is sung" which actually fits Sedaris's books -- they come about as his song of life is sung. However, Calypso comes from the name of his cat, not the name he gave his cat, but the name his neighbors gave the cat who had a secret life apart from its life with Sedaris (for fans of etymology, Sedaris has some fairly intelligent neighbors as the original Greek means "she that conceals; to cover, conceal").
I did not actually intend the picture to go with concealment. I was going for a West Indian feel, all part of image management; I can't just post a picture of the cover, can I?
Let me return to siblings. This is my family. No, not literally my family, but it could be my family except, thankfully, my mother is still with us. Therefore, it is difficult to criticize anything that comes so close to home. Also, it's a memoir and even my students knew (or if they didn't, they really would have benefited from figuring this out), I do not like to downgrade anyone's writings when the stories come from the heart. Don't immediately assume I hated the book (family, you know).
But, it is a type of memoir, even in essay form, and I'm not a fan of memoirs. (Thus, my three star rating.) I usually don't finish reading them. I finished reading this because I couldn't stop reading it. Reviewers who read Sedaris say that this is his most introspective, darkest humor...and not to start with this book as an introduction to Sedaris. Too late for that advice. He is funny...and, yes, back to family. His family reminds me of my family.
Yet, the turtle. I can't get over the turtle incident. That is not like my family. And, the incident with his sister. I want to be mad at him about that. I want to think that none of my siblings would ever do that to another one. I discussed it with one of my sisters. When is "tough love" truly love and when is it a euphemism for "downright mean"?
I've bookmarked page 91 a conversation between Sedaris and his partner Hugh:
Sedaris writes, "It's not that our father waited till this late in the game to win our hearts. It's that he's succeeding." Sedaris then starts complaining to Hugh: "'But he didn't used to be this nice and agreeable.'
'Well, he is now,' he [Hugh] said. 'What can't you let people change?'"
Sedaris comments: "This is akin to another of his often asked questions: 'Why do you choose to remember the negative rather than the positive?'
'I don't,' I [Sedaris] insist, thinking, I will never forget your giving me such a hard time over this.
Honestly, though, does choice even come into it? Is it my fault that the good times fade to nothing while the bad ones burn forever bright? Memory aside, the negative just makes for a better story..." Sedaris concludes.
So, either confession is good for Sedaris's soul or all the negative stuff makes for a better story or both. I could have done without any essays on bodily functions, but, again, sigh, family. I could do without the bodily discussions in my own family, except when my sisters get going during a sibling reunion and they crack me up. Sometimes it's funny until it's not, and there are parts of this book (for some, the whole book) that are not going to be funny. There are plenty of 4-5 star reviews for this book (and that's how I ended up choosing it from Book of the Month Club). This is for those who want to read a review with a lower amount of stars.
💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
This is my "raising children" section, and whether one would normally pick up this book to read or not, it really has some family stories to get a parent thinking. If you only read books on your "acceptable" list, books that probably say what you think anyway, then you're not going to be challenged to think through your parental practices. This book can give you a chance to think through how you feel about tough love, how you feel about people changing, how you feel about life now and life in the future. It's somewhat like being immersed in one's own culture, one can't see where your culture misses the mark, but go to another culture, and you see with different eyes. Still, there are parts that will gross out some readers (me included). I would like to say that we raised our children not to be gross, but...family.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On a more serious note, spiritual transformation. I have to wonder, without casting stones because I have to practice how to avoid this as well, whether or not the incident with Sedaris's sister had anything at all to do with image management. Was it tough love or was Sedaris concerned about what his sister would do in front of all those people if he let her in? I'm not sure I know of any adults who are totally oblivious when it comes to their images. How people see us matters a lot to us. Before I went through a spiritual formation institute (this one at Renovaré), I had never heard of a practice to learn indirectly how to push back against image management when it truly mattered. One practice is not to go back and fix an email or a media post when the reason to fix it would be to fix one's image. If autocorrect really messed up something, then, yes, by all means, editing is called for; however, there are times when what we need to practice is to practice truly being kind not just our image of being kind.
No comments:
Post a Comment