Conquering Anger -- Part I

This angry face image came from a man blogging about his anger at the Twins (baseball team). That kind of anger baffles me. I suppose if he has money he has gambled on the game and they are losing, then that means he is losing as well. It seems like strange behavior to me since his anger can not change the outcome of the game. However, I have been angry. Many times in my life. Yet, when I read on my 365 Writing Prompts list (found not on my List Board as previously blogged; it's on my 2014? Board), the day twelve prompt was "What is making you mad?" and nothing was making mad. In fact, I was having a difficult time remembering the last time I was angry. I am sure my children or husband could tell me in an instant, but I am no longer in the habit of being mad. So, "Conquering Anger" is what I contemplated this past Sunday.

I was interrupted after writing that last sentence (interruptions in the past would have made me angry), and in the intervening time, I realized how long a post this could become! Therefore, I am just going to tackle the first situation that came to mind when I think of my anger: Exhaustion.

Exhaustion, fatigue, tiredness. As a young mom with four children, I encountered fatigue often. I was not in the best of conditions to be kind, loving, or gentle. Sad to say, I made the situation worse by adding more activities to my life at a time when I could have been trying to get some rest. Wait! Don't get mad at me if you are a stay-at-home mom! I'm just telling my story here of one of the factors that made it easy for me to embrace anger.

Even when the children were in school, and I was working outside of the home, I added too many activities. Staying busy with activities happens to be a part of my cultural upbringing. That may not be the case for all readers, but where I live, people value one another by what they accomplish.

I have learned that I have value irregardless of what I accomplish. Those of you who have read some of my previous posts know that I am currently reading a book titled The Swerve. If you believe that you are nothing but atoms, I guess it makes sense that you should live for nothing but pleasure and avoidance of pain. I just haven't quite figured out how everyone can do that all at the same time. I'm thinking as I write here (I imagine you can tell that), and accomplishing something can give a person pleasure, but again, don't we get back to this idea that one is valued because of accomplishments? Also, what do we do when what we want to accomplish conflicts with another's person's desire for accomplishment? Much of the time, we get angry.

Being angry may give temporary pleasure and get a person what he wants, but then the person or people on the receiving end experience pain. I get the impression that people are just supposed to choose to all work together so that everyone will experience pleasure at the same time. Yeah. It doesn't seem to be working.

To be blunt, it takes more faith for me to believe in the "Swerve" than it does for me to believe in a good, loving, Triune God who says I have value, not because of what I do, but because I am uniquely created. He loves for me to be the ultimate me as He created me to be. (Okay, way too much rhyming there.) He doesn't want a cookie cutter person. He doesn't want me to have to do every activity that comes my way just so I can show society that I am a person of value. And, I certainly don't have to be doing anything to earn His love.

He knows my body needs rest to be the best me, and to be the kind of person that simply does not feel driven to anger, wrath, malice, or temper tantrums.

I know there are all kinds of situations that involve times when rest is out of reach such as for the student pictured below (and here is the link to go to some sort of event planning blog that suggests eleven ways to get a good night's sleep -- you might not be able to buy a new bed #11, but the rest are do-able). But, look how long this post is already. Feel free to comment. I'll title this Part I and see where it goes from here.

The Compassionate Life and My Redwood Tree

I failed my intended compassion "practice" yesterday. Just thought I should let you know. I went down a list of suggested ways of helping those less fortunate than I, and bypassed each one that took some previous planning. I happened upon the "read a book that discusses social issues" activity: this sounded do-able if I could get on on my Kindle. The two books suggested were The Politics of Jesus and The Upside-Down Kingdom (only the latter was available as an e-book). Don't rail on me if these are horrible books. I have not read them: I just saw them on a list of suggested books. In the middle of ordering the Kindle book, the thought came to me that I still had not sent off any cards to the three girls my husband and I support through World Vision. Being intentional about supporting these girls (in Kenya, India, and Haiti) beyond just monthly financial support is something I want to practice. 

It did not happen yesterday. Each day I just get busy with other appointments and activities (which may be all well and good), and the cards get left in a pile…somewhere. One of my "practices" that helps me to be a more loving thoughtful person is to take care of my mail the minute it comes into the house. I am serious. When we think of spiritual practices, we tend to think of praying, going to church, meditating, etc., but anything that helps us get into a habit of consciously being present to God and to people with love and kindness can be a spiritual practice. 

I ended up ordering the book. Sigh. I could have chosen something like "wash the dishes." I can imagine some eyebrows going up after reading that sentence. Washing dishes for a stay-at-home spouse shows that the one who normally washes dishes is valued. Too often when someone does not have a job, s/he feels s/he has no value. (I know, I know…all you grammarians will just have to overlook my awkward use of s/he.) My spouse does wash the dishes and also shared this duty when I was working full-time. Furthermore,  I actually enjoy washing dishes because I can wash dishes, watch the birds outside my window, and think. Not that I am implying a compassionate action has to be drudgery! Washing dishes just doesn't help me practice giving to anyone. (Maybe I can put it with my contemplation practices. :D) 

Value. Another word for me to contemplate. The contemplative life ascribes value, great value, on what and whom God values. And, God values every person, not because of what that person can do, but because that person exists. Which brings me to my redwood tree. 

As I sit here typing this post, my redwood tree is being cut down. The tree has been a part of my life and the life of my family for over twenty years. We are not taking this action lightly. We value this tree. It has provided shade for us and a home for birds and squirrels for many years. I could name other purposes this tree has served; however, it does have value beyond its purposes. It has a created beauty of its own. Often I would take naps on the living room couch and awaken to views like the ones below. You can comment and tell us how we should not be cutting down the tree (please be kind when you do so), but the roots of the tree are completely uprooting our house. Our fireplace is coming undone, and there are cracks, repairably now, if we stop the tree from invading our home. In answer to those who want to say the tree was there first, it was not. Nor were we the folks who unwisely planted the tree this close to the house. 

How often verses in the Bible tell us to be like a tree (Psalm 1 immediately comes to mind, but there are more than I can list here. ) God values trees. God values what He has created.

Isaiah 55: 10 - 12 speaks not only about trees, but also of how every word spoken by God will accomplish its purpose and "succeed in the thing for which I sent it." 

For as the rain and the snow comes down from heaven, 
And do not return there until they have watered the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, 
Giving seed to the sower and great to the eater, 
So shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; 
It shall not return to me empty, 
But it shall accomplish that which I purpose, 
And succeed in the thing for which I sent it. 

For you shall go out in joy, 
And be led back in peace; 
The mountains and hills before you 
Shall burst into song, 
And all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. 

Jesus tells us to do unto the least of these because it is doing it for Him. His word that will not come back empty. He values people, not for their accomplishments, but because He created each and every one. He values everything He has created. How can I do anything less? My hope is that there will be Thursdays where I write about having better days at practicing compassion, at valuing everything and everyone God has created.