Conquering Anger -- Part I

This angry face image came from a man blogging about his anger at the Twins (baseball team). That kind of anger baffles me. I suppose if he has money he has gambled on the game and they are losing, then that means he is losing as well. It seems like strange behavior to me since his anger can not change the outcome of the game. However, I have been angry. Many times in my life. Yet, when I read on my 365 Writing Prompts list (found not on my List Board as previously blogged; it's on my 2014? Board), the day twelve prompt was "What is making you mad?" and nothing was making mad. In fact, I was having a difficult time remembering the last time I was angry. I am sure my children or husband could tell me in an instant, but I am no longer in the habit of being mad. So, "Conquering Anger" is what I contemplated this past Sunday.

I was interrupted after writing that last sentence (interruptions in the past would have made me angry), and in the intervening time, I realized how long a post this could become! Therefore, I am just going to tackle the first situation that came to mind when I think of my anger: Exhaustion.

Exhaustion, fatigue, tiredness. As a young mom with four children, I encountered fatigue often. I was not in the best of conditions to be kind, loving, or gentle. Sad to say, I made the situation worse by adding more activities to my life at a time when I could have been trying to get some rest. Wait! Don't get mad at me if you are a stay-at-home mom! I'm just telling my story here of one of the factors that made it easy for me to embrace anger.

Even when the children were in school, and I was working outside of the home, I added too many activities. Staying busy with activities happens to be a part of my cultural upbringing. That may not be the case for all readers, but where I live, people value one another by what they accomplish.

I have learned that I have value irregardless of what I accomplish. Those of you who have read some of my previous posts know that I am currently reading a book titled The Swerve. If you believe that you are nothing but atoms, I guess it makes sense that you should live for nothing but pleasure and avoidance of pain. I just haven't quite figured out how everyone can do that all at the same time. I'm thinking as I write here (I imagine you can tell that), and accomplishing something can give a person pleasure, but again, don't we get back to this idea that one is valued because of accomplishments? Also, what do we do when what we want to accomplish conflicts with another's person's desire for accomplishment? Much of the time, we get angry.

Being angry may give temporary pleasure and get a person what he wants, but then the person or people on the receiving end experience pain. I get the impression that people are just supposed to choose to all work together so that everyone will experience pleasure at the same time. Yeah. It doesn't seem to be working.

To be blunt, it takes more faith for me to believe in the "Swerve" than it does for me to believe in a good, loving, Triune God who says I have value, not because of what I do, but because I am uniquely created. He loves for me to be the ultimate me as He created me to be. (Okay, way too much rhyming there.) He doesn't want a cookie cutter person. He doesn't want me to have to do every activity that comes my way just so I can show society that I am a person of value. And, I certainly don't have to be doing anything to earn His love.

He knows my body needs rest to be the best me, and to be the kind of person that simply does not feel driven to anger, wrath, malice, or temper tantrums.

I know there are all kinds of situations that involve times when rest is out of reach such as for the student pictured below (and here is the link to go to some sort of event planning blog that suggests eleven ways to get a good night's sleep -- you might not be able to buy a new bed #11, but the rest are do-able). But, look how long this post is already. Feel free to comment. I'll title this Part I and see where it goes from here.

Contemplating Epiphany and Hope

I imagine I heard the word "Epiphany" while attending church when I was young; however, the word did not have any meaning for me until I took literature classes in college. In literature, epiphanies break forth in a character's life (or in the reader's mind) with the brilliance of a bright light in a dark room. A character is suddenly aware of knowledge about which he or she was previously in the dark. In chapter thirty-six of Pride and Prejudice, Jane Bingley says, "Till this moment I never knew myself." Often an epiphany causes us to realize as Jane did that we have been "blind, partial, prejudiced, absurd." 

It is difficult to have an epiphany when we move through our lives at such a rapid pace. Contemplation, to stay still long enough and quiet enough to give some thought attention, to meditate on it, enables me to change. I want change; I want to grow into a more loving, kind, thoughtful person. I need time with God to change. Yesterday, it did not take a lot of time for me to contemplate Epiphany. I spent five to ten minutes and then the thoughts just kept coming throughout the day. Yet, contemplation does take a beginning, a willingness to be quiet and thought-filled.  

In Brave New World by Aldous Huxley, the main character, John (the Savage) insists, "…it is natural to believe in God when you're alone -- quite alone, in the night, thinking about death…" 

Mustapha Mond, Controller of this brave new world, responds, "But people are never alone now. We make them hate solitude; and we arrange their lives so that it's almost impossible for them ever to have it." In the final chapter, John pays the ultimate price in a society where "nothing costs enough" -- the people don't have to deny themselves in any way to get the things they want, and they don't want anything they've not been conditioned to want. 

Huxley wrote twenty years after the book came out that he wished he had provided the Savage a third alternative, in that neither culture in the book was worth living for. Epiphanies without hope lead to deep dark pits -- a possible reason why people, not only in Brave New World, but also in our brave new world avoid contemplation and solitude. 

The Epiphany of over two thousand years ago brought with it Hope. God revealed Himself to Magi, wise men, men from the East. Not Jewish. 

Gentiles. What amazing hope I have in God who esteems, values and respects, women (as well as men, but in those days, the status of women was nil), who esteems shepherds (when no one in that culture would have), who esteems and loves outsiders (God draws them to Himself and guides them).

Yesterday's time of contemplation was not difficult. Perhaps it will be in the future, but tomorrow I write on practices of Wholeness. :D 

9th Day? 10th Day? Failure Leads to Success

Ironically, I am posting about contemplation and wholeness just as the twelve days of Christmas move into a whirlwind of activity (ten lords a-leaping, eleven pipers piping, and twelve drummers drumming). No wonder most of us do not try to emulate the song. For those of us who have already celebrated Christmas Day (many Orthodox Christians will not celebrate until January 7), we are ready to take down the decorations, put the tree out with the trash, and be done with the holiday craziness.

I am persevering until Monday, January 6 which I have just found out is the 12th Day of Christmas. I have been off by one day apparently this whole time. Christmas Day is…well…Christmas Day, all on its own. I should have started counting on the day after Christmas Day. Now that I know, I can improve for next year's celebrations. Growth and improvement is what I am going for this year. The word I am keeping in mind is "Practice."

Practice one day; write the next. If all goes as planned (I write those words even though I know full well that events rarely go as planned), I'm going to practice six traditions or virtues.

On Sundays, I am going to practice Contemplation, specifically contemplation with God. Contemplation without God does not tend to lead to growth and improvement for me. On Mondays, I will write on how contemplation works out (and maybe I'll even keep practicing), but I will practice Wholeness on Monday. I think of these two streams of life as more internal.

Tuesday will be for practicing an Incarnational life where the inner life mingles with the outer life, while Wednesday if for Compassionate practices, practices that include social justice. So these two days are external.

Thursday and Friday will be for the distinctly spiritual practices. All streams or traditions are spiritual to me, but that is for another day and another blog. Thursday, I practice the Spirit-empowered life, and Friday is for the Evangelical life; although, those practices may surprise some readers.  

This year's adventures await me. Failure awaits me. I practice because I have never learned something perfectly the first time I did whatever I was doing, and basically practices are an accumulation of failures that help me learn until I succeed. (Look back up at the first image. Putting it into this blog did not go smoothly. I lost count on how many times I failed, but finally the moment came when the picture was here, without 5 inches of blank space and without gobbling up three other paragraphs.) As always, I am not practicing alone. I have a Helper. I have Emmanuel, whose birth I just celebrated, whose life I celebrate every day.