Day 10 -- Watch on This Tenth Day of Advent and First Day of Hanukkah

I have read too many books. Okay, not really, but I've read enough that the word "watch" does not always bring up the best pictures. For the literary minded, there's that billboard in The Great Gatsby that is a bit freaky. I had to move past my immediate reactions to dig deeper into joyful meanings of "watch." I found them in three places: "Grandma, watch me!" "Shepherds watch were keeping," and the Maccabees watching in amazement as, according to the rabbinical commentary Gemara (Shabbat 21b), oil that would last only one day remained burning for eight days.

Why the granddaughter faced the shepherd and sheep in that direction, I'm not sure. Are they contemplating the hard climb ahead? Or are they in a valley, unaware that there will be a rough road ahead? Ah, but at the end of that rough road will be a blessing.

In the same way, after a great battle, the Jewish people dedicated their temple -- the Hebrew word for dedication is Hanukkah. While there is a reference to Hanukkah in the New Testament (John 10:22-23 -- "Then came the Feast of Dedication at Jerusalem. It was winter, and Jesus was in the temple area walking in Solomon's Colonnade"), we can't be certain how it was observed beyond it being a Festival of Lights (as recorded by Josephus); nonetheless, the current observation is a beautiful one. The blessings recited are as follows:

We praise You, Eternal God, 
Sovereign of the universe: 
You hallow us with Your Mitzvot, 
and command us to 
kindle the Hanukkah lights. 

We praise You, Eternal God, 
Sovereign of the universe; 
You showed wonders to our 
fathers/mothers in days of old 
at this season. 

Children play a Hanukkah game called Dreidel (Yiddish for "to turn"). The dreidel is spun and when it falls, the Hebrew letter on top determines the amount won or lost (in our case, marbles).

The letters Nun, Gimmel, Heh, and Shin are the first letters of the following words: Nes Gadol Haya Shin which means "A great miracle happened there."

On the first night only of the eight days of Hanukkah, the following blessing, the She-heh-cheh'yanu, is said:

We praise You, Eternal God, 
Sovereign of the universe, 
for giving us life, for sustaining us, 
and for enabling us to reach 
this season.

For many, including for me and mine,  this has been a hard and difficult season, one in which a Gentle Shepherd has kept watch and we look forward to saying, "A great miracle happened there." 

Day 9 -- Messenger on This Ninth Day of Advent

If you're wondering about the strange title, I am referring to the word for the day of #adventword2017. The words seem more challenging to me this year than last year. However, I find that each is leading me into great meditation time. After pondering various experiences and feelings associated with "messenger", the verse that came to me was Matthew 10:29 from the New Living Translation: "What is the price of two sparrows -- one copper coin? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it."

Each bird is a messenger to me of God's love. This past week, a gorgeous hawk flew right in front of my kitchen window and landed on the branch of a nearby tree. I ran to find my phone to take a picture (of course, I could not find it before the hawk flew away), but the beauty of the hawk stayed with me even though I did not have a photo. (This also explains why I'm putting a picture of a bird that came to visit us outside our living room window.)

It turns out (oh, how I love these types of coincidences) that a friend gave me a book to read: An Altar in the World by Barbara Brown Taylor. The cover has a bird on it.

I have not finished the book, but I have found a passage that resonates with me as I think about messengers during this Advent season, or any season. It resonates with the type of messenger I want to be.

"Many years ago now, a wise old priest invited me to come speak at his church in Alabama. 'What do you want me to talk about?' I asked him.

"'Come tell us what is saving your life now, ' he answered...All I had to do was figure out what my life depended on. All I had to do was figure out how I stayed as close to that reality as I could, and then find some way to talk about it that helped my listeners figure out those same things for themselves" (xvii).

What is saving my life now? God, Divine Presence, Gentle Whisperer, Holy One, Healer, the One Who loves me and delights in me sees me, strengthens me, sustains me by continuing to show me love by way of the Word, by way of creation, by way of people and community among many other ways. Today I was loved by the team I work with. Scripture words and words in a new book encouraged me. The lights on a little tree brightened my evening. Thankfulness for a group of women who thought of me during a tough time and gave me little handcrafted Christmas tags enabled me to share that gratitude with another group of women. God who sees me opened my eyes to see all that I have to be thankful for. My hope is that in my every day life I can be a messenger of good news.  

Day 8 -- Prepare on This Eighth Day of Advent

I have a love-hate relationship with preparing. I love to prepare; I hate figuring out how to time the preparation. It's possible that I may even have a reputation for procrastination. This is a questionable trait to have had during my years as both a student and a teacher. I was going to post a picture of luggage because the year I went with family members to Italy, I waited until 2 am in the morning before packing. I can not even tell you what possessed me to wait that long. I started in what seemed like plenty of time -- I think I just have an issue with time itself. My granddaughters will fare better than I. The older one is excellent with math and numbers; the younger one is already exhibiting skill at pacing out when actions need to be accomplished. She gave a speech about our tradition of moving Mary and Joseph from the back of the house to the Bethlehem fireplace mantle. She told her classmates on day five of the journey that she needed to make 19 more moves. We seem to prepare well for this tradition. Perhaps the repetition of the tradition helps! In the picture below, you see that we have the stable (granted, it is a stable and not a grotto) set up and prepared for the arrival of the holy couple.

The animals peacefully await. The shepherds will wait with the lambs in green pastures (also known as a side table and green placemat). The red push pin will enable the angel to hover over the entire creche scene. All very lovely. No apparent chaos. The picture below shows what it might have looked like if I had been in charge.

Yes, friends and strangers, I took this small group on the train to Los Angeles Central Station (and forgot to plan for eating lunch on the train) where we jumped on the FlyAway bus to get to LAX airport where we slept on the floor until it was time to get on our flight to Russia (or maybe this was the on the return home). To prepare is a good activity.

Nonetheless, not everything in life can be prepared for. There have been plenty of situations while flying that I could not prepare for and they had nothing to do with my own personal flaws. A computer which broke down on a plane. A rare occurrence of ice in San Diego which grounded my plane! A flight attendant who didn't show up to work.

Also, natural disasters occur. During 2017, many have lost their homes to fires. One does their best to prepare, but one's best isn't always enough to hold back fire. Sometimes it is something medical that catches us by surprise. While I can't always be materially prepared, I have learned to prepare in other ways.

I can prepare to be peace-filled and patient by learning and practicing to slow down my steps before chaos hits. I can prepare to be kind, gentle, loving, content, gracious, innovative, creative, and unafraid by practicing in small ways before disaster comes. Couldn't it be the repetition of small practices on a daily basis that is really the beauty of this Advent word: prepare?

May we be prepared this season to see, receive, and give the love, hope, joy, and peace of Christ. Then, even if our preparations in other endeavors run into complications, it will be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well. (Julian of Norwich).     

Day 7 -- Focus on This Seventh Day of Advent

I have decided the brilliance of geniuses comes from their ability to focus. As for me, I tend to be more focused in the smaller picture of life and blurry in the large, just like my photos. In thumbprint size, I impress myself with my photo taking skill. Then, I expand my view and realize I wasn't in focus as much as I desired.

The picture came from the wedding of my nephew and his wife. I planned to share all my great pictures with them until I started seeing the same shots in larger formats.

Thankfully, they weren't relying on their guests for great photos! My siblings and I laugh about our "squirrel" moments -- moments like the dog in the movie Up who trots about happily on his way, doing what he is supposed to be doing, until he sees a squirrel. Suddenly, he is focused, but all that he has been doing is forgotten in his "squirrel" moment.

In my former job as a teacher and in my job now as a curriculum advisor, the ability to switch one's focus is a benefit. As a teacher, if one does not have the eyes of a dragonfly, able to focus on hundreds of things (or, in this case, children) at one time, life in the classroom will fall into chaos. However, in other endeavors and other seasons of life, focus becomes crucial. Take the picture of the squirrel up above. The window in the background is out of focus, but the window is not where my focus was. Looking at the picture, I can see that while I wanted to focus on the squirrel, it appears the plant is the focal point!

Sigh. I do that in life and writing, too. I think I'm focusing on one element when really I end up focusing on another. This week at work during a Parent Coffee, our speaker taught us about the power of our words. Often we focus on keeping our children safe by saying, "Don't" but what our words do is focus their attention on that which we don't want them to do! Instead of "Don't run out into the street," our brains will go in the direction of safety if we say, "Let's stay on the sidewalk."

The word "but" negates everything before it. "I love you, but..." How much better to replace "but" with "and".

This one will get you: "TRY". What? It turns out Yoda is right when it comes to our brains. Try implies failure or is an excuse to get out of something. Try opens up a doorway to doubt. The substitute for "try" might be a saying I heard from Dallas Willard: "Take the next right step you know how to take" or "Let's practice doing this."  There are three more words: "just" (gives away your power); "okay?" (sign of negotiation, open for interpretation); "should" (great for guilt trips). Check out the book below.

I will suggest one more phrase, a greeting, where the focus we want is totally lost in the enforcement of either saying it or not saying it: "Merry Christmas." Truly, both sides lose the feelings of love they mean to convey (or, I hope they mean to convey) by either forcing people to accept the saying or to force people to not greet others with it. The focus of both my words and life, in being and in action, matter.

And, for those squirrel moments? I liked how SacredSpace, Pray as You Go, for the Advent season started the day: Sit still for a moment and take some deep breaths. Take in Love and breathe out Thanks. It's a wonderful way to start each day instead of starting out frazzled. It's a wonderful way to end the day instead of focusing on the worries.

God will keep you in fulfilling peace when your mind is focused on God's Divine Presence. I have found God keeps me in love, joy, beauty, truth, kindness, and a whole lot of other goodnesses when my mind, body, soul, and spirit is indwelt by our Triune God's presence.

Greetings of love to you this day and this season. May our focus bless, and not cause harm. 

Day 6 -- Mend on This Sixth Day of Advent

I have planned to write this particular blog piece for quite awhile -- long before Advent, and basically after family members scolded me about my favorite hoodie.

Seriously, I don't know why they had such a problem with it. (By the way, I'm wearing a pink shirt underneath. This is a G-rated blog.)

So, yes, maybe some people would throw away clothing when it reaches this stage; however, I do my best to avoid adding to landfills for as long as possible. My sister (Rebecca, for those who know I have five sisters) said, "Well, then, at least let me mend it. Where is your sewing machine?" At that time, I did not have a sewing machine, nor did I have a sewing machine when I finally did mend it.

My sister's comments caused me to think about why I had not mended it before. Laziness and lack of time were two of my reasons. As I thought longer about it, I had to confess to myself that I was comfortable with my sweatshirt as it was. Uh-oh, with thoughts like that, I knew I was entering dangerous territory. Sure enough, I also started thinking about how the "air-conditioned" hoodie had become a part of my identity, my personality. You can imagine where I went with these thoughts. Too often I don't mend something, whether it is a physical object or a relational issue because I get comfortable with the ways things are. Or, I might have to be the one to change to mend a relational issue, or I may have to admit that rips are not the best.

I did fully mend my hoodie sweatshirt, and I pricked my finger doing it. Mending it was worth the effort because I can wear it again and not get tangled up in all the holes! Granted, to compare mending a piece of clothing to mending a relationship can only go so far. Eventually, I will not be able to mend my favorite piece of clothing any longer. I noticed a small hole just yesterday.

Like relationships, holes are easier to mend when they are small. Yet I understand that relationships are much more challenging to mend. Some relationships have to be given up rather than mended. Then, it may be a matter of mending one's own body, soul, spirit, heart, any combination or all four. That kind of mending is worth every effort.

Advent marks the coming of Love. "God is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit" (Psalm 34:18). This is a mending better than sewing up and saving a torn hoodie. You are loved!

Day 5 -- Heal on This Fifth Day of Advent

Healing happens best when one heals with a friend (ice cream is a plus).

It has been quite a year! Last year at this time, my husband was healing from knee replacement surgery and the effect of the pain medications. Less than a year later, he wound up in the hospital with a bacterial skin infection which triggered an arthritic flare up in his natural knee. We're thankful his artificial knee was not touched! From there, both of us have had visits with the doctors. The privilege of growing older. Yet, I know many friends and family members of all ages and for many reasons are in need of healing right now. For some, eating good food, moving around, and getting some sleep goes a long ways.

For others, healing is more complicated. Still, I like the subtitle on this book cover: "How Small Choices Lead to Big Changes."

Some days all one can do is to "take the next step one knows to take" -- a Dallas Willard saying that has helped me time after time.

Healing, in the midst of a medical condition or healing in the midst of relational issues, is a journey -- a journey that one often awakens to. For me and mine, we gather our resources, we simplify our lives, and we wait, just as Advent is a time of waiting, for the One who comes with healing in his wings. 

Day 4 -- Simplify on This Fourth Day of Advent

Simplify is great word to think about, but I found it difficult to take a picture of it (and truth be revealed: it is a bit difficult to implement at times)! After rejecting several ideas (a calendar with less dates filled in? a closet with less clothes?), I wondered how God simplifies in nature.

I started with a tree (which is pictured below), but decided on the image above because of the three different types of plants. Each holds a key to simplifying. The evergreen in the background can stay green all year, but daily it needs to simplify its branches by dropping a few needles continuously. The red deciduous tree has a simplified rule of life that includes green buds, full green foliage, the beautiful autumn colors, and finally what looks like bareness in the winter. So, too, the grape vine with its buds, followed by leaves and fruit, then dropping of the leaves, and finally a cutting back. Then, each plant starts its cycle again.

I have seasons in my life as well, and I am learning that it is an excellent idea to simplify by dropping activities, cutting back, and then, when the season is right, to begin again. In this way, I can bear good fruit.

And, if all else fails, trust a seven-year-old to show you how to simplify by using one's imagination. No need to buy another nativity set; make do with the one you have.

Day 3 -- Gather on This Third Day of Advent

When I first read the word for day three of #adventword2017 -- #gather , I had the pictures below in mind: gathering up the autumn leaves.

I like gathering leaves except when the wind keeps blowing them away. Certainly that can be a good metaphor for gathering. However, as I was looking at the pictures, I realized the sameness of the leaves. Yes, they're a little different but mostly they're the same. When I think of an excellent image of "gather" for Advent, I think of beauty in the diversity: Individuals gathered in the community -- unity come together. Something more like the pictures below:

A few toes were stepped on the weekend this picture was taken but love was in the house.

While searching for the shoes and feet picture, I ran across this one. We had gathered in England to study the with God life together. The geographical , gender, and age diversity around this table is immense (even if the flesh tones are not -- we did have diversity there as well; it's just not showing in this picture). Still, the image below is the one I chose:

This is what I gathered for my fruit salad: each part unique, yet together scrumptious. Each element had its own set of flaws; nonetheless, each was delightful individually and gathered into one bowl. (I ate the finished product without taking a picture!)  This image has its drawbacks as well. It's a still image. The other images with their sense of movement are more adequate in that respect to convey what it is like to gather. I'll close with a different gathering: a gathering in the future that can also be a gathering in the here and now. Advent can be the start of a gathering such as this.

"Imagine the day after your death...These people are breathtaking...you stop, startled, as you realize that there are others who look at you and see exactly the same: someone beautiful...someone magnificent in whom God dwells and delights...others are not simply wandering around...musicians in their orchestras...sculptors, painters, glassblowers, weavers, embroiderers, and photographers. Dancers leap around one another and you. Poets recite...writers...architects...constructions workers. Construction workers? Yes, there is artists of every kind going on here: creativity, endeavor, the shaping of the world in every way...As you watch all this activity, you gradually begin to realize that among all this runs a single golden thread: love...God in the midst of all this..." Now, to paraphrase the last page of this section of the book, God Soaked Life, imagine that we can start practicing to live this way now. Intrigued? Here are the four pages of the prologue of that book.

Day 2 -- Journey on This Second Day of Advent

Every year our Advent tradition includes the journey of our holy family from the back of the house to "Bethlehem" -- our fireplace mantle. This year our youngest granddaughter is using this tradition as the focus of her speech in her second grade classroom so she started Joseph, Mary, and the camel (no donkey) on their journey and took pictures to accompany her speech.

In general, their journey is without incident unless they take a fall (staged here for benefit of a picture) or they are beset by monsters (also known as the dog).

That's Joseph falling. Joseph's journey could not have been planned even in his wildest dreams. A carpenter, he was betrothed to a young woman who he clearly cared enough for that even without an angel's intervention he would not put a scarlet letter 'A' on her and make her a public spectacle. After the angel awakens Joseph and tells him to "Fear not," he gladly takes Mary as his wife, but still has to deal with the government. He gets to travel 35 miles from Nazareth in Galilee to Bethlehem in Judaea with his pregnant wife who is due to give birth just so he can pay taxes in his family's hometown.

On top of those circumstances, everyone else from Bethlehem is also traveling home and the inns are full. So Mary and Joseph get to have their firstborn in with the animals. Not such an auspicious beginning; however, shepherds come visiting because angels have told them that their Saviour has been born. Even Mary is as quiet as her husband after this visit.

The family gets about 2 years of peace and then Magi come to visit them followed by the news that Herod is out to get them. Once again, Joseph is visited by the angel of the Lord, and once again, Joseph finds himself on the road, fleeing to Egypt with the young child Jesus and his mother Mary.

Then comes the news that Herod is dead and they can return to Israel, but they can not return to Judaea because Herod's equally horrible son reigns there. They wind up in Nazareth of Galilee.

It's quite a journey for this family. What journey are you on? I have had a number of journeys in the past few years. Some of those journeys have been journeys of celebration. Yesterday I attended a delightful bridal shower for a former student. She is embarking on a journey of joy, but even those journeys need preparation. However, that is an advent word for another day.

More often than not these days, I know of more journeys like Joseph and Mary's -- journeys filled with ups and downs. I have learned that we have our own ways of dealing with these journeys.

Joseph is a quiet man who obviously cares for his family. When at 12 years of age, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph travel with the extended family to the feast in Jerusalem, and Jesus stays behind, it is Mary who says, "Son, why have you dealt this way with us? Your father and I have been in deep sorrow as we looked for you."

When Mary gets visited  by an angel, she asks questions and launches into a song of praise. Mary goes visiting her cousin. Mary talks. Both Mary and Joseph are people of action, but one seems a bit more extroverted than the other.

I am a borderline introvert. (Does that also make me a borderline extrovert?) I can handle large and small gatherings and like Mary, I don't mind speaking up. Yet, I get my energy from times of quiet. My husband does not like crowds, and he would never be on social media; however, to my surprise, he gets his energy from being with people (just one or two at a time). I am learning to listen to the stories of the journeys of others and not jump in so quickly with "helpful suggestions." Love and listening, I am finding, are always welcome to those on a journey.

I also love this from church service yesterday:
"Wondrous are you, Holy One of Blessing,
All you create is a sign of hope for our journey..." 

Awake on This First Day of Advent

As I thought on this first word for #adventword2017 #awaken, this is the picture that came to mind.

Much good comes from waking up; however, waking up isn't always pretty. Even in the best of circumstances, there's still morning breath (or nap time breath) to deal with.

The awakening for Joseph could not have been easy. He has found out that his betrothed Mary is pregnant, and he definitely knows the baby is not his. Being a "just" man, he does not want to make a public example of Mary. I have to pause for a moment to write how much I admire Joseph. What a beautiful picture of justice. It's so different from my culture's view. Still, the baby is not his, so he thinks it is best to divorce her privately (a betrothal in those days was essentially married). But, an angel comes to Joseph in a dream and tells Joseph to "fear not to take Mary as your wife..." and reveals to him who and what this baby is going to grow up to be and do. And, Joseph is to name the baby JESUS.

"Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife."

Tell me that your hair would not stand up a bit, that your eyes would not pop open, and your clothing would not be a bit disheveled being awakened in this way.

This word has caused me to think of all the ways I have been awakened this year. Awakenings can come in surprising ways. While watching an old show of the television series, NCIS, I was awakened by this comment made by the main character: "Worry only makes you suffer twice." Wow! I have heard various statements made about worry, but none of them have made a transformational difference in my life until that one.

That was a gentle awakening. This morning's awakening was a shocking kind as my mind and body registered:  "The driver in that van is coming toward me!" It turns out that the driver was having difficulty getting the large van to turn into the correct lane. As my brakes moaned, the driver waved a "Sorry!" wave at me and continued on. Gentle or rude, awakenings call us to be present, be in the here and now.

I was awakened from my normal drive home, but the journey did continue on safely. Other awakenings for myself, my family, my friends and acquaintances this year have not continued on quite so happily. Awakenings to deception, to grief, to tragedy, to illness. In those times, as Mr. Rogers used to say, "I look for the helpers." In those times, as Joseph did, I also look for the face and  fingerprints of God. And, the face I see, just as it was for the little guy in the picture, is a face returning love and kindness and encouragement. The fingerprints are on hands that wrap me in hope and peace.

This Isn't the "Newness" I Signed Up For

I would have been with my siblings the week I first started writing this post, but life got in the way. Instead I spent it cleaning...and writing...and caring. Cleaning and writing because I can control those activities. Caring because I love. However, I am getting ahead of my story. Let's begin with "newness." 

My small 8 am church family begins each new year with the tradition of picking a star. The stars are taped all over church with the words hidden. I chose this star because I liked the glittery silver color. When I turned the star around, I liked the word even more. I like "new" -- not more than "old"; rather, I like "new" as much as I like "old." 

In that time of winter becoming spring, I ran into the word "new" in so many places, and my heart embraced each one. Isaiah 43:18 -- "Behold I am doing a new thing." Lamentations 3:23 -- "God's mercies are new every morning."

Then, spring became summer. Nothing new happened this summer. Nothing. Except. Days of depression! Depression hung around me like the cloud over Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh books. Fear, I know; depression, I do not, at least not like this. I have had a day of being "down", "blue", depressed, but I could usually attribute it to something: a situation, a cloudy day, a drop or elevation of hormones. I tried to blame the depression on cloudy days. We had a few, yet on some sunny days I might as well have had Eeyore's personal cloud over me! I pushed back. Believe me, I tried every trick on my Pinterest boards! Then it occurred to me that it was the first summer I could think of when I did not have something going on, something to look forward to. My work slows down in the summer. My children are grown, and I did not even have my grandchildren with me as often as in the past. I wasn't going to school, and I wasn't traveling. 

I wasn't being used by God. It turns out that I'm okay with not being used by God. In April of 2016, one of my teachers taught on the fallacy of believing God USES us. We use forks and spoons, and power tools, and pencils. I find it difficult to be around people who "use" people, but somehow a theory of a God who "uses" people persists. Still those of us in attendance were a bit startled at the beginning of this teaching, but I won't go into that here. I will recommend the teacher's book:

I don't recall Chris Webb including the discussion about "using utensils" within the book; nonetheless, why God does not "use" us will become clear. Meanwhile, I'm going to write what I did not know to say during that gathering and teaching. I did not know to say, "We all need something to look forward to." Many people look forward to being "of use", and when they find themselves no longer useful, they feel they have lost their worth. Our worth, yours and mine, comes from God who loves us and delights in us. We can look forward to a God-soaked life which might include activity but definitely can include creativity, no matter our physical state of being: young and healthy or in the deepest of physical woes. I think of Corrie Ten Boom, stricken speechless after a stroke, unable to physically do anything. However, she continued to live a life of prayer and community. She woke up in the mornings looking forward to her days with God and others. 

This thought took on added importance as another "newness" that we did not sign up for came about in the fall. My husband came down with life-threatening cellulitis that landed him in the hospital. That apparently triggered an arthritic flare up in his natural knee (last year at this time he had knee replacement surgery in the other knee), and the medical trials and tribulations have continued. 

While these events are not the "newness" I signed up for (and would not recommend signing up for); nonetheless, we have been loved throughout by God and by others. We have seen the fingerprints of God, the God-soaked life in too many ways to write of here (making a long post even longer). I hearken back to those verses I first rejoiced in at the beginning of the year. Lamentations 3:23 "God's mercies are new every morning." How did I miss the Lamentations part? Insert wry chuckle here. The writer spends 21 verses lamenting! Then comes verse 22: "It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They (the compassions) are new every morning; great is Thy faithfulness." Truly we have seen this. 

And, Isaiah? Um, yeah...that chapter has flood waters, fire, wilderness and desert...BUT, it also has "Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine" (there are certain verses that I just love the King James, forgive me 💕) "When you pass through the water, I will be with you...you are precious in my sight...fear not: for I am with you..." and 43:18 in full reads: "Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert."  

I did not sign up for this kind of "newness"; however, I find a song continually in my thoughts and in my heart: "Give thanks with a grateful heart; Give thanks to the Holy One. Give thanks because He has given Jesus Christ, his son. And, now let the weak say, "I am strong"; let the poor say, "I am rich," because of what the Lord has done for us. Give thanks." 

I give thanks for ways in the wilderness, rivers in the desert, fingerprints of God in a God-soaked life. 

Ninth Day of Advent: Commit

I figured there would be lots of wedding pictures for the word "commit" so I wanted something different. White water rafting. When you get into a raft and you head down a river, you are committed. This is not an amusement park ride (although once one is rolling on an amusement park ride, it's best to stay committed there as well).

There's a great deal of joy in white water rafting...if you're not petrified with fear, but if your guide slips down into the raft (as ours did -- the big guy is not our guide; the petite woman behind me is) or falls out (as the male guide did in another raft) or if you hit the rocks the wrong way (thankfully, we did not) then someone or everyone goes into the water.

It helps to pull together, but there are times when everything churns and splashes.

I look at these pictures now and think, "Wow! Maybe this was a bit above my skill level!" But, I also look back with gladness that I committed to that trip. I need to remember this when a commitment to kindness, courage, gentleness, beauty, goodness, love, faith, and hope look like something above my skill level. I also remember my Guide does not leave me, nor forsake me. Incarnated Jesus may sleep in the boat, but he does not accidentally fall into the boat or out of the boat. He knows how my life's rafting trip ends, and it ends well, safely in his kingdom. He is committed in love to each one of us. 

Eighth Day of Advent: Touch

Today begins the eighth day and the second week of Advent, the lighting of the candle that most often represents love. The word given for the #AdventWord pages is #touch. At first glance, I have a strange picture to show for "touch," that of the conception of a poem I wrote probably twelve years ago. The finished poem is typed up below the image.

To the Muse

You who taught Herbert to sing
      and Donne to love,
Who am I that You should visit me?

You who touched Mary and the Salvation
     of the world was conceived,
Dare I believe You would bring forth ,

Living words? Breathing Words?
     In me?

This is the first "public" sharing of this poem, and I feel quite vulnerable. To touch another is vulnerable, whether that touch is physical, emotional, or spiritual. We give something away of ourselves and hope that it will not be crushed.

A popular Christian song lyrics start off, "Love came down and rescued me; Love came down and set me free..." Love also came down as a vulnerable baby (but did not stay a baby) and is willing to meet us where we are the most vulnerable -- not to crush us, but to touch us with life and breath, with love and joy.

Seventh Day of Advent: Play

Play prepares our hearts for worship. Play, not as entertainment or competition, but a joyous movement of body and mind, prepares us to adore, to love in the highest degree, our Triune God.

True play is sheer gratefulness and joy in being alive. Our spirits release our grip on the world or fly free of the world's grip on us.

As adults we sometimes have to relearn how to play. We find it difficult to let go of the tensions of the day; we find it difficult not to compare or compete.

Thus, when we play, we practice those movements and thoughts that lead us deeper into worship. Here I am to worship you, Lord Jesus, knowing I can trust you with my life.

Photo credit: Melissa Jean Photography

True play brings joy in being alive with others and enables us to practice the joy that happens in communal worship. Then, having practiced and received joy, we are better able to give joy.

I have not given all the dictionary definitions and research I have on the value of play (dictionary on my left hand side; research on my right -- "Prone to research, Lord, I feel it..."), but, when the tensions of celebrating the perfect Christmas season weigh us down, I hope we will stop to play in joyful abandonment and worship of the One who brings us faith, hope, and love. 

Sixth Day of Advent: Light and Hope

No eyes were harmed in the taking of the picture above. Whether pointing my phone directly at the sun to take a picture of light will harm my phone and/or the camera within it, I don't know. What I do know is the reason why God wouldn't let Moses see the our Almighty Creator in full glory. Even looking at this picture, the brilliance is amazing, and this is a created light. What I am also thankful for is that God wants relationship with me, with us. Jesus does not hold us at sun's length.

I know so many have already used Madeleine L'Engle's poem in their blogs, but it bears repeating since it is that good.


He did not wait til the world was ready,
till men and nations were at peace.

He came when the Heavens were unsteady,
and prisoners cried out for release.

He did not wait for the perfect time.

He came when the need was deep and great.

He dined with sinners in all their grime,
turned water into wine.

He did not wait till hearts were pure.

In joy he came to a tarnished world of sin and doubt.

To a world like ours, of anguished shame
he came, and his Light would not go out.

He came to a world which did not mesh,
to heal its tangles, shield its scorn.

In the mystery of the Word made Flesh
the Maker of the stars was born.

We cannot wait till the world is sane
to raise our songs with joyful voice,
for to share our grief, to touch our pain,
He came with Love: Rejoice! Rejoice!

-- Madeleine L'Engle "First Coming"

(With gratitude to a friend who got this from her friend and sent it to me!)

You don't see the word "hope" in this poem, yet I titled this piece "Light and Hope." Here is why:

This, too, is light. It is the light of my flashlight, or "torch" as I believe they say in the UK. It is human created light, and it is not perfect. Its light will go out. Batteries will need to be replaced as will the bulb. Still, it does shine and, given the proper care and maintenance, it can shine even if it is not the equivalent of the sun.

I see hope when I connect the picture above with the poem for two reasons: imperfect as it is, it is still light and we cannot wait until the world is sane to shine; and, the Lord came with Love, not waiting until we are perfect.

I am loved, and so are you.

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom is no fickleness, neither shadow of turning"
(James 1:17).

Fifth Day of Advent: Proclaim

Pastors, preachers, priests, must have a difficult time every year between Thanksgiving and New Year's. How does one teach a lesson that they've already taught before to the same crowd? I was a teacher, but at least I had a new crowd each year. However, I have written Advent posts before, and it was tempting today to just leave proclaiming to the picture below and resurrect an old post. 

What impelled me to write was Facebook. Yes, there's lots to dislike about social media, but, thus far, the Facebook organization allows the pages of deceased people to stay in circulation. (Stick with me here.) As I write this, I'm not deceased obviously. Yet a time will come when I am not here and it could be that my post will touch someone's life, just as saints of old made a difference in my life from an early age. 

Through stories of St. Teresa and St. Therese, the stories of St. Augustine and St. Francis, and many more, I learned how to have a relationship with God. I suppose some people cast off the relationship with God of their younger years as some friendship with an imaginary friend. I did not. The relationship was too real. And, I wasn't the only one who knew God existed. 

I did, however, like young Goodman Brown of Nathaniel Hawthorne short story fame, want to check out the wild side. I've learned that the wild side of God is quite an adventure, but back then, the world's wild side killed some of my friends and usually found me throwing up in a toilet bowl. Frankly, it just was not enjoyable. 

I cast my lot with the Christians. Now there are Christians, and there are Christians. One group follows rules and one group follows Christ. I'm trying to keep this proclaiming short, so let me just say that I know now what it is like to be in a community of those who follow Christ and his commandments: Love God; love others. 

When I ask myself, "Would you ever not believe in God?" I end up asking myself: "What do I do with situations that just can not be explained? One example: I had a dream, a detailed dream. The heart and soul of the dream was about an acquaintance (I didn't even know where he lived anymore) who I later found out was despondent, despairing, desperate, hopeless. God wanted him to know that he was loved by God and that he was not a failure.  I thought this is crazy: I can't contact this person. I don't even know if this email address is correct. Still, what if I wasn't crazy? I wrote out the entire dream (along with "please, please, please don't think I'm insane"). I received a long email back telling me the devastating failure that the young man had faced, a failure in his work that if it had not been caught by another could have led to tragedy. He was at the lowest point ever in his life. I can take no credit for reaching out to this person. Some of my teachers have rightly said that sometimes the only way God can get through to us is through dreams. If I were stronger in my hearing of God, perhaps God could have just flat out told me and I would have known what to do. Nonetheless, this was a situation that I can not explain away, and there have been others like it. 

My belief is also more than something I just proclaim or speak out. I trust Jesus not as my "get out of hell free" card, but as my friend and God whose salvation is for me daily. I was never one to think about a "life verse" but I guess I ended up with one anyway through a rather odd story that I won't tell here. 

"Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ; by whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God" Romans 5:1-2.