Day 10 -- Watch on This Tenth Day of Advent and First Day of Hanukkah

I have read too many books. Okay, not really, but I've read enough that the word "watch" does not always bring up the best pictures. For the literary minded, there's that billboard in The Great Gatsby that is a bit freaky. I had to move past my immediate reactions to dig deeper into joyful meanings of "watch." I found them in three places: "Grandma, watch me!" "Shepherds watch were keeping," and the Maccabees watching in amazement as, according to the rabbinical commentary Gemara (Shabbat 21b), oil that would last only one day remained burning for eight days.

Why the granddaughter faced the shepherd and sheep in that direction, I'm not sure. Are they contemplating the hard climb ahead? Or are they in a valley, unaware that there will be a rough road ahead? Ah, but at the end of that rough road will be a blessing.

In the same way, after a great battle, the Jewish people dedicated their temple -- the Hebrew word for dedication is Hanukkah. While there is a reference to Hanukkah in the New Testament (John 10:22-23 -- "Then came the Feast of Dedication at Jerusalem. It was winter, and Jesus was in the temple area walking in Solomon's Colonnade"), we can't be certain how it was observed beyond it being a Festival of Lights (as recorded by Josephus); nonetheless, the current observation is a beautiful one. The blessings recited are as follows:

We praise You, Eternal God, 
Sovereign of the universe: 
You hallow us with Your Mitzvot, 
and command us to 
kindle the Hanukkah lights. 

We praise You, Eternal God, 
Sovereign of the universe; 
You showed wonders to our 
fathers/mothers in days of old 
at this season. 

Children play a Hanukkah game called Dreidel (Yiddish for "to turn"). The dreidel is spun and when it falls, the Hebrew letter on top determines the amount won or lost (in our case, marbles).

The letters Nun, Gimmel, Heh, and Shin are the first letters of the following words: Nes Gadol Haya Shin which means "A great miracle happened there."

On the first night only of the eight days of Hanukkah, the following blessing, the She-heh-cheh'yanu, is said:

We praise You, Eternal God, 
Sovereign of the universe, 
for giving us life, for sustaining us, 
and for enabling us to reach 
this season.

For many, including for me and mine,  this has been a hard and difficult season, one in which a Gentle Shepherd has kept watch and we look forward to saying, "A great miracle happened there." 

The Expectant Hope of Mary

When I look at most Christmas card pictures (or Christmas stamps) of Mary, I would say this is a woman who has it all together. All her hopes while growing up in Mom and Dad's household have been fulfilled.

Christmas cards tend to be scenes of perfection: perfect balance, composition, color, emotion (happy, joyful, peaceful or all three). To be sure, I wouldn't be excited to put a card up on my fireplace mantle that shows Joseph and Mary scroungy: shabby, dirty, sweaty, and unkempt from traveling to Bethlehem. Let's add in the way most of us women look after we have given birth. Like everyone else, I want beauty. I want wholeness, happiness, joy, peace, and I want it now.

This picture of The Annunciation by Henry Ossawa Tanner blesses me. Mary, a teenager, gets the shock of her life. Rather than have a greeting card wedding followed by, at an appropriate time, a Pinterest worthy baby shower and a birthing scene filled with the help of close women relatives, Mary's life has been turned upside down. Mary questions, yet she still decides: "I am the Lord's servant. May it be to me as you have said" (Luke 1:38).

Mary has expectant hope. The words "expectant" and "hope" are a lovely combination of words. To be expectant is to feel that something is about to happen, and to hope is to want something to happen. The definitions of both words involve "to happen." It, whatever "it" is, has not happened yet. It is in the future. Mary's expectant hope comes from knowing the Lord. This is a young woman who has spent time contemplating God's goodness. With the angel, she simply states: "I am the Lord's servant," but, later, with her cousin Elizabeth she will let her excitement flow in praise of what God is doing and going to do.

Daily life is rarely greeting card worthy, yet it is in the daily life that I get to know the goodness of my Savior and I am prepared to have expectant hope for what lies ahead.

Expectant Hope

Yesterday marked the first day of Advent 2015, a day when some light the first candle of five set within a wreath of green.

This first candle, usually purple as befitting the prophecy of a king to come, symbolizes expectant hope. 

"For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace" (Isaiah 9:6). 

I often forget a major reality: Expectancy isn't filled with soft, comfortable days of waiting.

Consider the opening of Jesus' story: an angel comes to Mary, and even after greeting her and letting her know that she's highly favored and the Lord is with her, Mary is greatly troubled. Angel Gabriel has to say: "Don't be afraid." 

No wonder! We've made angels into cute little beings, or, like Henry Payne's section of painting* above, of equal stature. Bernini did a better job of capturing the immensity of angels. 

I like what is comfortable and familiar. Prophecies and hopes are exciting as long as I can wrap them up in a box with pretty wrappings and bows. But, when they don't fit inside of my small comfortable expectations, or when I have to wait, confused and unsure, then I need a reminder that the Lord also says to me as He had Gabriel say to Mary: The Lord is with you. Don't be afraid." 

"Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as you have: for He has said, 'I will never leave you, nor forsake you' so that we may boldly say, 'The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do to me'" (Hebrews 13:5,6). 

"The Lord has not given us the spirit of fear, but of strength, and of love, and of a sound mind" (2 Timothy 1:7). 

"Nothing...shall separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:39). 

* "Annunciation" detail from Peace and Goodwill 1921-1922 by Henry Payne, stained and painted glass, leaded in the Birmingham Museums and Art Gallery.

Where Are You? -- Day 14 of Advent

Poor Mary and Joseph. Much of the gain they had made was taken away when the youngest granddaughter came over and moved them back to the Little People house. It took me awhile to find them. "KK," I said, "Where are Mary and Joseph?"

I didn't know this was what I was going to write about today. I had actually planned two days ago on going a different direction, but then Mary and Joseph got lost, and suddenly I find myself writing about "Where are you; where am I, this Advent season?" I was very tempted to add in a joke about not asking directions, but I won't go there.  We all get lost or decide to return to the familiar in our journeys toward the unknown.  

And, God, ever so gracious, comes seeking us. Today, I want to treat you to the words of two of my favorite authors. The first, Trevor Hudson and the second, Frank Laubach.

"The other day I listened to someone tell the story of his spiritual journey. He described how, after years of searching in different directions, he had eventually found God. I had mixed feelings about his use of the phrase 'found God.' On the one hand, there is a certain truth to this. We do search for God. On the other hand, we are also the ones who hide away. Nonetheless God is always trying to find us. This is the good news of the creation story. When we hide from God, God comes seeking, calling out to each one of us, 'Where are you?'

"This question leads us deeply into the searching heart of God. It reminds us that God always pursues us in love. Nothing can ever extinguish the flame in God's heart that burns to be in personal relationship with us. Even when we mess up and get terribly lost. When God asks us where we are, it is as if God is saying to you and me, 'Where are you? I am missing you. My heart aches for you. I want to reconnect intimately with you. I grieve over the distance between us. I long for your companionship, and I will search for you until I find you'" (Questions God Asks Us).

Almost 80 years prior to Hudson writing, Frank Laubach wrote: "I walk out in the street full of Moros, and if my soul is as full of God as it sometimes is, I see what happens as I look into their eyes and pray for them. No man need try to persuade me that God does not reach them, for I see the thing happen, and now I know that every person we ever meet is God's opportunity if only, if only we were not so much of the time shut off from God.

"Last Monday was the most completely successful day of my life to date so far as giving my day in complete surrender to God is concerned -- though I shall hope for far better days -- and I remember how as I looked at people with a love God gave, they looked back and acted as though they wanted to go with me. I felt then that for a day I saw a little of that marvelous pull that Jesus had as He walked along the road day after day, 'God-intoxicated' and radiant with the endless communion of His soul with God'"(15 June 1930).

When God asks me, "Where are you?" oh, that I may reply, whether I am waiting or traveling, "Here, Lord! Right here, clinging to You!" And, may I, as I cling to Him,  look with His same love at everyone else with me on this journey called life.

* artwork from beliefnet.com

Waiting with Joy? Excuse Me? -- Day 13 of Advent

Waiting…waiting…waiting…I. am. waiting. for. this. week. to. end! Writing a blog daily poses a couple of problems for me. My standard mode of operation includes procrastination which I have been unable to practice. My other problem is "Waiting." I am running out of words to write about waiting. I'm ready to move on to JOY.

What? Did I just hear one of you say there can be joy in waiting? No, we can't have joy. I can have peace, and faith, and hope, but no joy. That can only happen next week with the Shepherd's candle. Thank you very much.

I woke up this morning remembering that the little boy in this picture is now my grown up thirty-five year old son. The thirty years seem like a mere inhale and exhale. Yes, those thirty years included sorrow and sadness, but from my vantage point now, how I wish I had not, well, wished those days to move faster. Or, perhaps I should write, how I wished I had searched for and clung to every bit of joy that was there, sometimes hidden like a jewel, sometimes right out in the open, but my focus was too much on how I was barely hanging on.

Twelve more days until Christmas and the only sign of Christmas in my house is the empty stable on the fireplace (a fireplace that appears to be having structural issues), the shepherd watching his sheep on the piano, and Mary and Joseph on the move -- here clinging to the ledge of a bed foot board. Obviously, this Mary and Joseph are going to need a little help getting down. Me, too. When I'm out on a ledge waiting, I need a little help, too. I find it by waiting with the Psalms. I started to go right to Psalm 16 (one of my favorites) but my eye was drawn to Psalm 17 this morning: "I will call upon you, for you will answer me, O God; incline your ear to me, hear my words. Wondrously show your steadfast love, O savior of those who seek refuge from their adversaries at your right hand. Guard me as the apple of the eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings…As for me I shall behold your face in righteousness; when I awake I shall be satisfied, beholding your likeness" (6-8,15).

As I wrote those verses two songs built around that psalm came to mind, and I think of how music has played a part in bringing me joy in the waiting. And, when I ponder further, don't we play Christmas music throughout the month of December to help with the waiting for Christmas Day?

Yes, joy is available for me in the waiting: if I will look for it; if I will remember that time passes so quickly. What seems like waiting, waiting, waiting, will be gone quickly, and I don't want to miss one moment of joy or one moment of seeking refuge in God and waking in the morning beholding His likeness.

Now, my granddaughter has arrived, and I am going to go play! 

Pregnant With..... -- Day 12 of Advent

Two days ago I wrote of Mary's difficulties. Today, I write of her ease. Her ease in keeping her mind on Jesus. She was pregnant with Jesus. She physically carried him inside of her for nine months. To be pregnant is to be filled. Pregnant with desire is full of desire; pregnant with hope, full of hope. Pregnant pauses are full of meaning; they're significant. An historically pregnant time is of great importance or meaning. And, a pregnant decision produces results; it's fruitful. Being pregnant, how could Mary not keep her mind on Jesus?

In 1930, Frank Laubach wrote of his plan to keep his mind on Jesus. On June 3, he starts his letter in the following way: "This experiment which I am trying is the most strenuous discipline which any man ever attempted. I am not succeeding in keeping God in my mind very many hours of the day, and from the point of view of experiment number one, I should have to record a pretty high percentage of failure. But the other experiment -- what happens when I do succeed-- is so successful that it makes up for the failure of number one. God does work a change."

At the beginning of one's pregnancy, one hardly notices a change...until the morning sickness hits. Some few lucky ones never have the morning (or evening) trips to the bathroom to vomit out every bit of food they just managed to eat. Others experience such trips every waking moment of the day. It is not hard to keep one's mind on what is growing inside, but it may not be that heavenly moment of which others have spoken. Usually within that next month, the baby's movements can be felt -- just a little flutter here, then there. So amazing to think of this little one growing inside.

I could hardly wait with each of my children to feel those first movements, and to constantly be aware of their presence.

Then, as the last three months of pregnancy are entered, the baby grows so big that his presence can not be ignored by Mary. Nine months of waiting and being ever mindful of Jesus growing inside. Nine months filled with choices ("Be it unto me"; What will Joseph do?), a journey to Bethlehem, and then, birth in a rough-hewn shelter for animals. Mary does not have an easy life, but she has this constant awareness of Immanuel, God with her.

Laubach writes: "'Can it [keeping one's mind on Jesus] be done all the time?' Hardly. 'Does the effort [keeping aware] help?' Tremendously. Nothing I have ever found proves such a tonic to mind and body....The most important discovery of my whole life is that one can take a little rough cabin and transform it into a palace just by flooding it with thoughts of God." 

A place for animals in a little place like Bethlehem becomes a palace when Jesus is in it.
"But you Bethlehem Ephrathah, though you are little among the thousands of Judah, Yet out of you shall come forth to Me the One to be Ruler in Israel, Whose goings forth are from of old, from everlasting"  (Micah 5:2 which was repeated to Herod when Herod sought Jesus so he could kill this new "ruler" -- Matthew 2:3-6).

My place, my condition, my circumstances become pregnant with significance and meaning when I wait and look for the appearance of Jesus in my life every moment of the day.

* The art in today's blog comes from the hands of Jason Jenicke, Sandro Botticelli, and Sassoferrato. 

Expectantly Waiting Gone Wrong -- Day 11 of Advent

I have a naughty child story. Unfortunately, I was the naughty child. One birthday I asked for electric curlers (this was before electric curling irons were commonly used). I waited for my birthday to arrive, and I expected to get an electric curling set. About a week before my birthday, I announced to my parents that the curlers HAD to be electric steam curlers or I did not want them. AT ALL. My thoughtless self did not stop to think that perhaps my parents had already bought the gift, which they had. And, they were not steam curlers. My birthday arrived, and I saw my gift. In that moment, I realized how much pain I had given my parents. They wanted to bless me, and I had destroyed that blessing by insisting that I wanted what I wanted and nothing else would do. I tried to make up for my inconsiderate ways by thanking them over and over for the non-steam rollers, but I had already ruined it for them -- their downcast eyes showed me that they knew their best was not good enough for me. In the days prior to my birthday, I had clearly and loudly stated all the flaws in any other type of roller.

Maybe we need words like faith, love, and peace to surround "expectantly waiting." There is a type of waiting that blesses and a type that does not. Maybe it depends on the 5 Ws and 1 H: Who, when, where, what, why, and how.

How are we waiting? Many years after my childish incident, I was called upon to wait, and not just wait, but to wait confidently. I had been maliciously slandered and God clearly told me how to wait when, at the precise moment I needed it, my daily Bible reading was in Isaiah 30. Verses 15-16 tell how the Israelites could have chosen to wait on God, but they did not do so --

"In returning and rest you shall be saved; In quietness and confidence shall be your strength." 
But you would not, And you said, 'No, for we will flee on horses' -- 
Therefore, you shall flee! And, 'We will ride on swift horses' -- 
Therefore those who pursue you shall be swift!

On the other hand, verse 18 tells how God waits for us:

"Therefore the LORD will wait, that He may be gracious to you; 
And therefore He will be exalted, that He may have mercy on you. 
For the LORD is a God of justice; Blessed are all those who wait for Him." 

God told me to "Wait confidently." And, of course, I said, "Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word." Sigh. No. I said, "Wait confidently, Lord?! It's hard enough to wait, let alone confidently!...." Then, "Nonetheless, not my will be done, but yours"...well, sort of... I said, "Okay." Several months later, I received apologies and commendations. What I gained most of all was an enlarged view of the God I serve and what He can do through me if I let Him. Just this morning I read this in 2 Peter 3:9 -- "The Lord is not slow about his promise as some think of slowness, but is patient with you, not wanting any to perish, but all to come to repentance."

In Advent, I'm preparing, but I am preparing for a remembrance and a celebration. Immanuel, God with us, Jesus, is here. I enter into His life each day as I journey through life's trials and tribulations with patience, just as Joseph and Mary did, knowing that in the kingdom of God we are safe. If a door closes behind us, He will show us the next step to take.

As I invite the Holy Spirit in and trust in Him, the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control grows. At the same time, I can choose to seek God in His word and to enjoy Him in His creation. Like Mary and Joseph, I can worship Him, and in "rest and quiet confidence" I can get my strength from Him.

Like Laubach, I can practice living in His presence: "The moment I turn to Him it is like turning on an electric current which I feel through my whole being" (3 June 1930).

Then, truly the celebration of the birth of my Savior will be a joyous one! 

Can We Talk About Mary? -- Day 10 of Advent: Expectantly Waiting

"Inwardly this has been a very uneven week. As a whole, my end of the experiment has been a failure for most of the week. My physical condition and too many distractions have proven too much for me, and God has not been in the center of my mind for one-fifth of the time, or perhaps one-tenth."

That was Frank Laubach writing on June 1, 1930. We want to think people had life easier in (insert a year here). No matter what the year, people have always struggled with their wonderfully made but nonetheless breakable bodies. Some of us could be distracted on a deserted island; Laubach was distracted although he lived a lonely life, and most of us here in 2013 certainly have abundant distractions.

As we talk about physical conditions, distractions, and expectantly waiting, can we just talk about Mary for a moment? In the picture above, my youngest granddaughter has moved Mary and Joseph to the Little People house. Mary did not have such nice accommodations awaiting her at the end of her journey. (Although they are outside the house; maybe this shows no room at the inn?) And, I am not so sure life was so twinkly and lovely as the picture below shows.

Mary is, however, a great model for the themes of the Bethlehem candle: faith, love, preparation, expectantly waiting, and yesterday, I heard another theme: peace (which I thought was the fourth candle, but we'll discuss that in another two weeks).

Have you ever stopped to think of Mary's parents or her upbringing? I don't think I ever did until I prepared to write this blog. An angel comes, and she's scared and wonders about his greeting, but she does know it's an angel. She doesn't ask the angel what he means when he speaks about Jesus. She asks him a technical question: "Um, I have never been that way with [known] a man. How can this be?"

She does not question what or who the Holy Spirit is. She hears the explanation of the angel and says those quotable words: "Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word."

Mary has been brought up to know God and the history of God and His people. We have further evidence of this when she meets up with Elizabeth. She has been prepared for this moment even though she could not have known that it was coming to her. She has faith in God; she trusts Him; she loves Him. And, now she expectantly waits, as far as we know, in peace.

But, it could not have been easy. She gets sent off to cousin Elizabeth's house during the first three months of pregnancy, that is, when she is in the throes of morning sickness. Near the end of her pregnancy when she is huge and uncomfortable, she travels to Bethlehem where there is no room for them. She ends up giving birth, not in a comfortable stable like we are accustomed to seeing, but probably a cave-type of place for the animals.

And, don't even get me started on that verse in "Away in the Manger" where baby Jesus "no crying he makes." We might want to associate crying as a sin, but it's not. The shortest verse in the bible is "Jesus wept." Mary is young; she has a baby (totally human, totally God) who cries to communicate and she is in a cold cave stable with animals. Tell me that Mary does not have uneven days. But, she could say as Laubach wrote: "But today has been a wonderful day and some of yesterday was wonderful." Days not based on physical conditions or circumstances, but only based on drawing close to God. Expectantly waiting to see what next step to take, expectantly waiting to see what beauty might arise, expectantly waiting to see what God will do. 

Expectantly Waiting -- Day 9 of Advent

A dear friend just posted another meaning for the Bethlehem candle: Expectantly Waiting. I love it! Joseph was willing to travel to Bethlehem with expectant Mary because he trusted God. He believed the message from the angel of the Lord: "Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins" (Matthew 1:20-21). Joseph waited expectantly for this message to come true. Joseph's encounter with God enabled him to wait, to take action, to be courageous.

I can not help but return to the same long letter from Frank Laubach on May 24, 1930 as he describes his life continually encountering God: "I worry about nothing, and lose no sleep...Even the mirror reveals a new light in my eyes and face. I no longer feel in a hurry about anything...Nothing can go wrong except one thing. that is the God may slip from my mind if I do not keep on my guard. If He is there, the universe is with me. My task is simple and clear.

"And I witness to the way in which the world reacts. Take Lanao and the Moros for illustration. Their responsiveness is to me a continuous source of amazement. I do nothing that I can see except to pray for them, and to walk among them thinking of God. They know I am a Protestant; yet two of the leading Moslem priests have gone around the province telling everybody that I would help the people to know God."

Oh, that I may remember to expectantly wait and trust that God is at work!

(Mary and Joseph still traveling. They have moved from the philosophy section to the English teacher books -- poor Mary and Joseph! There are days when we expectantly wait with a window view, and other days when our wait is a little less exciting; nonetheless, the end of the wait will be worth it all.)