"Will You Give Me a Drink?"

I realize what my title might imply, so I'm posting a picture of a well right here at the beginning. Not the best picture, and it's from Italy not Jerusalem. Here is another view.

During Lent, I'm following Jesus' life, and today I read His first words to the Samaritan woman at the well which are "Will you give me a drink?" Not "For God so loved the world that He gave His only Begotten Son," but, basically, "I'm thirsty. I have nothing with which to draw up the water. Will you give me a drink?"

To keep this blog real, I'm going to confess to any dear soul reading that my first thought of what to write next is rather snarky. Snarky -- "critical, cutting, snide, cranky, irritable." I know writing is all about not putting our first thoughts down, but you will have a picture of me that is not true if I edit to make myself look good. So, my unedited words read: "Gosh. Imagine that. Jesus, THE JESUS, God who created the universe, God who can change water into wine, takes the time and effort to ask the woman for a drink of water before accosting her with 'Hey, woman, you'd better believe in Me or else you're going to hell.'"

Jesus did indeed say in conversation with someone else, "For God so loved the world..." It was with Nicodemus, a man of the Pharisees, a member of the Jewish ruling counsel. Isn't it interesting that Jesus said it to a person who is the equivalent of our religious leaders? But, even with Nicodemus, Jesus did not start off with those words. Nicodemus initiated the whole conversation acknowledging Jesus as a teacher from God who did miraculous signs, and Jesus willingly stepped into the conversation with Nicodemus just as He did with the Samaritan woman.

This same woman has trudged to the well by herself, and she's taken aback that He's talking with her. He's obviously Jewish; she's obviously Samaritan, and the Jewish people do not associate with "those" Samaritans. Some translations even read: "Jews do not use dishes Samaritans have used."There are no paper cups by the well. Jesus is going to drink from the same container the woman would use.

I don't even drink out of a family member's cup so it takes much trust in God for me to drink out of a common communion cup! Years ago, in a small group of people, I heard Dr. Anthony Campolo tell how a homeless friend offered him a sip of coffee out of the same cup from which the homeless man had been drinking. Campolo drank from the cup. Who is a "Samaritan" to you and me, and would we drink from that person's cup? 

Jesus' answer, "If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water" is not chiding her. He's leading her thinking away from the lies she has been told about the inferiority of Samaritans, away from any thought of her unworthiness. He is introducing her to God who loves her so much, He is willing to give her living water just for the asking!

When our minds are baffled and boggled, our brains go back to a place of connection, something practical such as "Sir, you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water?" And, then basically, "Who in the world are you?!"

Jesus takes her to a deeper level. She's worth the conversation just as much as the religious leader Nicodemus was. And, she, the Samaritan woman does ask. Granted, she asks for practical reasons, but she does ask. Jesus then enters into her life, "Go, call your husband and come back."

To which she responds that she has no husband. With no condemnation, Jesus reveals how true she has spoken for she has had five husbands and the man she is now with is not her husband. Just as Jesus did with Nathanael ("I saw you under the fig tree before Philip called you" which means He also heard what Nathanael had to say about people from Nazareth), Jesus gently reveals that He knows her life.

The Samaritan woman takes a different tack, perhaps to turn the conversation off of her life (understandable) or maybe she really is still confused and stuck: My people say this; your people say that.

Many pastors treat Jesus' response as if she tried to divert His attention and He brought her up short. BUT, Jesus not only answers her question, He also entrusts her with precious knowledge of what is coming: "Neither this mountain nor Jerusalem" and through His conversation with her, He reveals that true worshippers worship in spirit and truth, not on a certain mountain, nor in a certain city. Might there be wisdom here for us: true worshippers do not worship in our country alone (insert the name of your country), but they worship in spirit and truth.

I can't leave this story without saying to anyone who is feeling worthless today, Jesus loved the true Israelite Nathanael and the Pharisee Nicodemus, but He also loved the Samaritan woman, and it was she whose testimony led people to listen to Jesus -- "And because of his [Jesus'] words many more became believers [beyond the ones that believed due to the Samaritan woman's testimony]."

You are not worthless. You are loved. 

Follow the Leader or Simon Says

Did you ever play "Follow the Leader" when you were a child? I did. It was fun to see if I could copy exactly the actions of the child leading. "Follow the Leader" was different from the game "Simon Says." I have a few friends in other countries so let me explain "Simon Says." One person stands in front of the group and calls out an action to be taken. If this leader says, "Simon says," then we must all do the action (e.g. stand on one foot, put our right hand into the air, hop up and down), and we must continue to do the action until the leader calls out: "Simon says, 'Stop standing on one foot' " (or "Simon says to stop doing whatever he or she has told us to do). Woe to the child who does an action or stops an action without the words "Simon says" attached. To obey, "Stand on one foot" or to stop if he or she says, "Stop standing on one foot" will result in being cast out of the group...well, "cast out" is harsh phrasing. It is a game, after all. One has to sit out until there is only one person left playing, and that person wins the game. He or she has obeyed every "Simon says" direction and has not taken action or stopped taking action without the leader's "Simon says" command. 

One game is about following; the other game is about obeying what the leader says, no matter what the leader does. I never thought about the difference in the two games until two situations came into my life. 

In the first situation, I listened to a teacher stress obedience without touching on relationship with Jesus. Everything in me wanted to cry out: Oh wait until you are a mom! A child can obey with a horrible heart attitude. In a relationship between a parent and child, one really hopes for obedience; however, obedience does not build a relationship. A child fresh out of the womb can not obey. Yet, obedience does seem to be a favored topic of religious teachers. 

So let me bring up the second situation: On my second day of Lent in my journey with Jesus, I read of Jesus drawing to Himself His first disciples. The words out of His mouth are not, "Obey me!" Rather the words are "Follow me!" 

I wish I had thought of this when I was raising my children. If my child was about to run into the street or do something dangerous, I did want him or her to obey. However, doing something dangerous didn't happen daily. Yet, I used the word "obey" more often than I used the word "follow." Just as in the games mentioned in the first paragraph, obedience can be demanded no matter what the leader is doing while following requires the leader to do the action first. I realize history shows that people will follow and obey a leader straight into horrific actions against himself or his neighbor. Therefore, I'm glad Jesus walks the walk first. In fact, in His angriest moment, His anger falls on those taking advantage of the poor who are trying to obey the Jewish law of sacrifice. 

Jesus Himself says, "Follow me." We can go to weddings. We can talk with a religious intellectual. We can talk with a woman who no one else will befriend. And, in all of these situations we can offer love, kind wisdom, tranquillity, peace, serenity. 

Yesterday and the day before I wrote of a slave mentality. A slave has to obey. A person in relationship longs to follow. I chose today's picture of a time when my granddaughter was quite young because it pictures for me the joy she had in having me follow her, and the joy that I had in following.  

Building Bricks or Building Relationships? (Evensong by Kate Southwood)

Have you ever read a book that was depressing yet you knew it had elements of a classic? (No, not all classics are depressing.) I picked up this book in the new book section of the library because of the title Evensong. Evensong services in the churches I visited in the UK are beautiful. They are evening services filled with song of psalms, prayers, and canticles. I was looking for some lighter reading and I thought that this book would fulfill that need.

Alas, I'm in the same camp as reviewers who are conflicted about this book. However, let me start first with the classic elements of the book. Fans of Virginia Woolf and streams of consciousness will appreciate the spirit of Woolf and her style of writing in Southwood's novel. The evensong in Evensong is the song of her life which Maggie sings after a heart attack as she looks at the interplay of her present with her past. The prose is beautiful and may be the main reason I continued reading. When Maggie thinks upon her brother Porter (pages 12-13), Southwood's lyrical prose is so eloquent, I wanted to keep reading even though I already had the feeling that this story was going to be depressing. Indeed the character of Porter carries the main light notes in this story which throbs with the dark notes of Maggie's choices and the choices she feels are forced upon her.

I have not read Woolf since I was much younger, and now I'm wondering if I would find her novels depressing if I were to read them now. Therefore, I'm also wondering if this story would be best suited for a mid-aged reader (or even younger although my guess is that a college-aged student would have to be assigned the novel -- as many classics are -- just as I was assigned to read Woolf in college). The hope in reading the novel at that age would be to come up with better choices in one's own life than Maggie did in hers, and to make amends better than Maggie or perhaps sooner than Maggie does. Maggie's relational issues are as much caused by her as by her husband.

I must add the story carries lots of situations that could stir up emotions in those who have been through challenging childhoods and/or marriages.

I'm rating this at 2 stars. I noticed a comment from one reviewer to another asking whether the reviewer with 2 stars was doing so because of emotions or the writing. It was the feelings brought on by the book. While the book did not cause emotional problems for me, I still found it a sad book in spite of it's fairly happy ending, and my two stars are simply for "I didn't like it." The writing is excellent and I would be fine with it as a book discussion group choice (but I wouldn't be reading it again).

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I am placing the book review above on top of a Lenten post I had written two and a half years ago. I must have hit publish but never posted it on any public media. As I scrolled through my blog posts, I thought this review connected with this old post as Maggie's issues are clearly relational. So much of her life she built bricks rather than relationships. Her husband was sure in his knowledge and his being right. Maggie, on the other hand, was going along like the Israelites staying in a situation because she thought she did not have any other choice, and in some ways, Maggie does like her version of "leeks and onions". She has certain benefits to being married to her husband. With this introduction, instead of my usual 💕 (heart and family) section and spiritual formation section, I end with a discussion on building bricks or building relationships (and a great picture at the end of the blog post). It's not a perfect connection because it is about patience but I don't think Maggie's choices were about patience and tranquillity. Her choices felt as dysfunctional as her husband's choices. (Can you tell that I was mad at Maggie a lot?) Maggie does not come through for her daughters and she does not end up treasuring much in her heart until her granddaughter. Thank God for grandchildren!

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When in the land of Egypt the Israelites had to increase their brick production numbers, I imagine they tried to run through every piece of knowledge in their brains about making bricks. As a teacher, I endorse knowledge; there's no question about that. However, as I started my Lenten journey through the life of Jesus, I found myself reading and remembering what I've learned or felt in the past about the passages, rather than immersing myself in the story of Christ's life.

From the early chapters of the gospels of Matthew and Luke, I recalled how encouraging it was to read that Jesus "grew in wisdom and stature." Oh, I know He's fully human and fully God, yet it was lovely to see that He chose to grow as a human would grow.

Add in the early chapters of Mark and John, and I remember learning that Jesus fulfilled Jewish law in having two or more witnesses to his claim. I may not remember fully, but I believe it was the witness of John the Baptist, the witness of the I AM, the witness of the Holy Spirit. Later His miracles and works will testify to His claims.

Jesus also faced temptation, and my brain lets me down a bit. I recall the three temptations matching up to something. At the moment, I'm seeing that Jesus fasted 40 days and 40 nights. I feel like I should be making something of that 40 days and 40 nights, but my emphasis on getting the knowledge is beginning to feel more like the mentality of a slave -- learn the information so that I can pass the test of the Egyptian slave masters. Where is the joy, the tranquillity, the peace that God created us to have during times of Shabbat, during times of ceasing, during times of margin as in this season of Lent?

Interestingly, as I stumbled about trying to fit these thoughts down into some kind of coherent post, I momentarily gave up and picked up a devotional I have started reading this year (Hearing God Through the Year based on Dallas Willard's book and compiled by Jan Johnson). This is the Wednesday passage:

"When we do not understand the experience of biblical characters in terms of our own experience, we may stop reading the Bible. Or we take it in regular doses, choking it down like medicine, because someone told us that it would be good for us -- through we really do not find it to be so.

"The open secret of many 'Bible-believing' churches is that only a small percentage of their members study the Bible with the degree of interest, intelligence or joy that they bring to reading their favorite newspaper or magazine. Based upon considerable experience, I believe this is primarily because they do not know and are not taught how to understand the experience of biblical characters in terms of their own experience" (41).

I actually did enjoy what I read, but it was not relational. I was not making space for a relationship with Jesus. More or less, I was thinking like a teacher: how could this be taught...not caught...by me.

When I relaxed and brought all these thoughts before the Lord, what stood out to me was Jesus' mother Mary. Jesus astonished Mary and Joseph -- He confused them; He baffled them -- when He stayed behind in Jerusalem and they thought He was lost. Jesus knew what He was doing, but they did not. And, Mary "treasured all these things in her heart."

As a first step, to "treasure all these things" in my heart when I'm astonished, confused, or baffled with God or with others seems like a tranquil, loving, freeing practice. Times will come when action needs to be taken, but just as margin and active space makes a logo or picture stand out more, so too a margin of love blesses both a time of waiting and patience and a time of questions and discussion.

I did look for an image of bricks. This is much better, don't you think? And, the open pathway highlights the beauty of the community cottages. Enjoy. 

Rethinking Lent as Margin and Space

Give something up for a full forty days. With freedom in Christ, don't fast. Lent as "do something good." Back to Lent movement among Protestants. Fast Monday through Saturday and never on Sunday (Little Easters). I have tried them all.

However, inspired by a Holy Spirit desire to follow Jesus' life, not just his death; and a friend's blog November Press post "Active Space"; and Priscilla Shirer's study Breathe, I am rethinking Lent as Margin and Space.

Thankfully, this blog site makes it easy for me to have margins and space in my writing. It's not quite so easy in daily life. I've already wanted to fill up my Lent space by joining an online group who are SLOWING DOWN for Lent (good one!) and follow Pope Francis's idea to fast from indifference, to name just two. No matter what your leanings are denominationally, these are practices worth following, and I hope I will slow down and fast from indifference during my days of Lent, but I also hope those practices will continue in my life beyond forty days.

In her book Breathe (based on a presentation she gave at a women's conference), Shirer uses her research of Genesis 1 to show that God was not tired out and done creating on the seventh day of creation. He was creating; He was creating tranquility, serenity, and peace. He gifted the Israelites with shabbat -- "to cease" -- in order to teach them how to put away a slave mentality. Slaves live fearfully, with a worldview of scarcity, with little joy, creativity, or margin in their days. 

I so appreciate what my friend Avo writes in "Active Space."

"In design, negative space (basically parts of a work where nothing is happening), when used well is called active space. Active because it contributes in a positive and an indispensable way to the overall work. Think of the space in-between letters or words or lines of type. How would your reading experience be without them? Sometimes it’s the space around a logo, the large white space around a single line of copy, that activates the logo or adds the communicative impact to a sentence and contributes to the results for which the designed piece was intended."

The margin and space I am creating during this time of Lent is adding and enhancing the times of my life that are filled. One of those areas I'll be creating freedom in is social media. It's not because I don't love my friends and family. I still like the idea of Sundays being "Little Easter" -- a time when we celebrate -- so I'll check in to celebrate with or pray for those with whom I communicate through the gift of technology. But, giving up that little bit (okay, sometimes a great deal) of time will give me the freedom to create -- either in creating sentences on paper or in creating opportunities for serenity. It will give me time for relationships: with my well and alive Jesus, with others that God brings into my life during this time. 

If you want to join in and compare notes, I'll be writing along the way. I know how many good opportunities there are and how many much better blogs there are to read so my feelings aren't hurt if you never read another post this season. Nonetheless, I hope I have encouraged you this day to experience some breathing room in the active space of the margins of your life in order to break free of a slave mentality. Shalom. 

Opting Out of Resolutions; Opting In to Encouragement

If you have broken any of your resolutions made a mere 18 days ago, you are not alone. Some have even taken to tweeting their failures. Failures. That's my issue with resolutions. Either you accomplish them or you fail. I've opted out of resolution making for a number of years now, but it's only this year that I have replaced resolution making with something else: Keeping track, hopefully on paper, of what went well each day and where I need new strategies. If I don't write it down, then I'm at least practicing thinking about these two questions:

1) What went well today?
2) Where do I need new strategies?

Resolutions don't have solutions. I know: the sentence sounds cheesy and trite, but it helps me remember what I'm looking for: solutions, not failure. Failure needs to be an option. Yes, many of us have heard the famous quote: "Failure is not an option," but the person saying that had a great deal of practice (read: failures) before the day arrived when the practice boiled down to a moment in time when it was important not to fail.

A resolution that makes its way onto the top ten resolutions list every year is "Stop Smoking." It's a great resolution, but some folks don't realize the average smoker quits 8 to 10 times before succeeding. If we looked at resolutions in the same light as we would an inventor or a scientist, we would expect a great deal of failed attempts. Like a scientist, I have a vision of what I want to see happen and I am encouraging myself in that goal, that vision, by continuing what is leading me closer and considering how I can change what went awry by practicing a new strategy. This is what that looked like in my life the first day I tried it.

You might not have any problem calling people, or making your bed, or picking up clothes, but I've never liked using the telephone. Texting was God's gift to me! Maybe you made it an hour without smoking...or gossiping...or eating something unhealthy. Maybe you got out of bed 5 minutes earlier than the day before or gave your son or daughter your undivided attention. Maybe you took the time to be grateful or kind or patient. Did you look up and notice something beautiful outside your window? Did you attempt to smile at the barista? (Please smile at the barista. My daughter is one.) Whatever you did well, no matter how small, it was a step in the right direction.

Then, get creative about strategies for what didn't go the way you had hoped or planned. As it turned out, keeping a running list of actions to do works for me. It helps if I gather up all that I need to do on the computer and wait to do them later in the day. When I start off my day with social media, the rest of my day runs amuck. The next step for me is to make list-making a habit. I know it works for me; I'm just not in the habit of doing it.

As mentioned in my last blog post, I trust that people can change -- with encouragement, practicing falling down and getting back up, one day at a time, one step at a time. 

Changes, Visible and Not So Visible

I didn't get far in my return to blogging...some things don't seem to change, but there is hope. When I read what I posted two years ago on January 11, 2014 , I almost could have just put up the same posting. Almost. This is what my desk looks like now. Different room, a whole lot less clutter.

Just so you can see the difference, here is what it looked like two years ago:

Sometimes change is my life is highly visible and good like the differences between these two pictures (or between the color of my hair in 2014 and the color now)! Much of the time the change that I see may not be something I want as the two past years have had many times of sadness. The change that I do want is often slow and not obvious, such as the change necessary to accomplish my number one goal in 2014: to be more like Jesus than the previous year. The challenge with this type of goal is that the more I know of Jesus, the more aware I am of how far I fall short. Nevertheless, if I revisit the same writing prompts I used on 1/11/14, I would still make #1 the same, but perhaps with a change in wording.

#1 -- My number one goal this year is to live my life the way Jesus would live my life if He were I.

I also at that time digressed to answer some January writing prompts from Pinterest. I digress again as I revisit those prompts.

#2 -- I continue to be most grateful for Jesus in my life, especially in the midst of sadness or chaos or turmoil. I am practicing how to be gracious, kind, and loving in those circumstances. I am also grateful for a group with those same goals, a cohort group that I spent two years studying with. In 2014 I included our first picture together from October 2013. Here I include our last time together last June 2015.

#3 -- Am I content? Yes, even more so with what I have or don't have materially, but not so content that I don't need to continue practice becoming kind, growing in patience and gentleness, nurturing encouragement, following after Christ.
#4 -- Best memory of last year? Definitely being with the crazy loving people pictured above, but also being with the crazy loving siblings pictured below.

#5 -- Last major accomplishment? Two years of monthly postings and discussions on Blackboard, 4 semesters of practices, 8 papers, 1 major project, I didn't even count the number of books read -- graduating in my International Renovare program was a major accomplishment.
#6 -- I listed what possessions I could not live without, and I made a joke about liking to be clothed. I'm surprised none of my friends or former students called me out on that one. I CAN live without my pictures, but I would be the poorer for it. I do like pictures, some of which can be replaced thanks to technology these days. My books. I have a lot of books. A LOT. Again, I can live without them, but I can't replace the notes I've made in some of those books. Still, there is something to be said for discovering anew old thoughts.
#7 -- Can people change? I still trust that people can change.
#8 -- Last good thing I ate? My homemade tamales. One of these days, I may share the recipe. How is that spiritual formation? Incarnational. Daily life with Jesus. :D
#9 -- Current favorite snack? I still like carrot sticks, but I currently am also snacking on dates.
#10 -- What made me smile on the 10th day of January? Definitely my granddaughters. They came over for Sunday dinner, and we always play family games after dinner.
#11 -- My favorite accessory? I still do not accessorize and even the hat I had in the original post is now long gone.

And, now since today is actually the 14th day of January, I include prompts 12, 13, and 14.
#12 -- What is making me mad? Uh, nothing is making me mad. This is causing me to wonder if I am ever mad when I write.
#13 -- What did I have for dinner...well, since it's morning, I can't answer that. In fact, I'm not sure what we're having for dinner tonight unless I go to the grocery store.
#14 -- What did you get done? I'm going to get this blog post done! And, I'm going to practice just writing it without worrying about its reception. I'm taking a Sabbath from the opinions of others. I just started a new Priscilla Shirer study, Breathe. I'll close with some paragraphs from that study. (Ha! I like the element of surprise to myself as I write: I start with a plan but then I'm surprised at where I end.)

Shirer quotes from Heschel's book: The Sabbath: Its Meaning for Modern Man:
"The words: 'On the seventh day God finished His work' (Genesis 2:2), seem to be a puzzle...We would surely expect the Bible to tell us that on the sixth day God finished His work. Obviously, the ancient rabbis concluded, there was an act of creation on the seventh day. Just as heaven and earth were created in six days, menulza was created on Sabbath. After six days of creation -- what did the universe still lack? Menuha. Came the Sabbath, came menuha, and the universe was complete."

"Menuha, which we usually render 'rest' means here much more than withdrawal from labor and exertion, more than freedom from toil, strain or activity of any kind. Menuha is not a negative concept but something real and intrinsically positive. This must have been the view of the ancient rabbis if they believed that it took a special act of creation to bring it into being, that the universe would be incomplete without it. 'What was created on the seventh day? Tranquility, serenity, peace, and repose.'"

Later Shirer will quote Brad Lomenick as she encourages her readers to ponder where margin, the type of margin brought about by a positive meaning of Sabbath, might bring about tranquillity, serenity, peace, and repose. This is what I'm contemplating this first month of the new year.

Shalom. 

Can You Remind Me What God Is Like?

Last week I received a text from a good friend: "Can you remind me what God is like?" I had to chuckle at my phone's automatic response choices: "Sure"; "Sorry, no"; and "Talk later."

Given circumstances in the world, my friend's request wasn't that unusual. I gave her a longer version (because that's what I typically do) of what children's television host Mr. Rogers said about looking for the helpers. I look for signs of the Imago Dei, the image of God, and I look at His handiwork.

Those familiar with art know that the painting above is a Caravaggio without seeing his name. The Nativity with Saint Francis and Saint Lawrence bear all the markings and attributes of Caravaggio's work. So, too, with God's handiwork. His creation has marks of His handiwork: beauty, goodness, and incredible skill. Sometimes it bears the marks of astounding mathematically precision, and at other times, it is the irregularities which are amazingly wondrous.

Those irregularities are quite common in people, yet as Dallas Willard writes: "The obviously well kept secret of the 'ordinary' is that it is made to be a receptacle of the divine, a place where the life of God flows" (14). But, some friend will cry out: "This week we have seen humans where no mark of the divine seemed anywhere close!" The divine in them was given over to tin: tin men and women mechanically carrying out what they had been trained to trust in -- a god of hate.

"...C.S.Lewis writes, our faith is not a matter of our hearing what God said long ago and 'trying to carry it out.' Rather, 'The real Son of God is at your side. He is beginning to turn you into the same kind of thing as Himself. He is beginning, so to speak, to "inject" His kind of life and thought, His Zoe [life], into you; beginning to turn the tin soldier into a live man. The part of you that does not like it is the part that is still tin'" (Lewis, Mere Christianity, qtd. by Willard, The Divine Conspiracy 20).

Still tin. We walk around daily with much tin in our lives. We don't look like we carry the Imago Dei within us. The beauty of a Caravaggio painting is his mark of reality: Mary is weary, no halo or crown above her head. C.S. Lewis's words from "The Weight of Glory" apply: "Meanwhile the cross comes before the crown and tomorrow is Monday morning."

What do I do with my Monday mornings (and Tuesdays and all the other mornings)?

"A cleft has opened in the pitiless walls of the world, and we are invited to follow our great Captain inside. The following Him is, of course, the essential point" (Lewis).

The Expectant Hope of Mary

When I look at most Christmas card pictures (or Christmas stamps) of Mary, I would say this is a woman who has it all together. All her hopes while growing up in Mom and Dad's household have been fulfilled.

Christmas cards tend to be scenes of perfection: perfect balance, composition, color, emotion (happy, joyful, peaceful or all three). To be sure, I wouldn't be excited to put a card up on my fireplace mantle that shows Joseph and Mary scroungy: shabby, dirty, sweaty, and unkempt from traveling to Bethlehem. Let's add in the way most of us women look after we have given birth. Like everyone else, I want beauty. I want wholeness, happiness, joy, peace, and I want it now.

This picture of The Annunciation by Henry Ossawa Tanner blesses me. Mary, a teenager, gets the shock of her life. Rather than have a greeting card wedding followed by, at an appropriate time, a Pinterest worthy baby shower and a birthing scene filled with the help of close women relatives, Mary's life has been turned upside down. Mary questions, yet she still decides: "I am the Lord's servant. May it be to me as you have said" (Luke 1:38).

Mary has expectant hope. The words "expectant" and "hope" are a lovely combination of words. To be expectant is to feel that something is about to happen, and to hope is to want something to happen. The definitions of both words involve "to happen." It, whatever "it" is, has not happened yet. It is in the future. Mary's expectant hope comes from knowing the Lord. This is a young woman who has spent time contemplating God's goodness. With the angel, she simply states: "I am the Lord's servant," but, later, with her cousin Elizabeth she will let her excitement flow in praise of what God is doing and going to do.

Daily life is rarely greeting card worthy, yet it is in the daily life that I get to know the goodness of my Savior and I am prepared to have expectant hope for what lies ahead.

Expectant Hope

Yesterday marked the first day of Advent 2015, a day when some light the first candle of five set within a wreath of green.

This first candle, usually purple as befitting the prophecy of a king to come, symbolizes expectant hope. 

"For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace" (Isaiah 9:6). 

I often forget a major reality: Expectancy isn't filled with soft, comfortable days of waiting.

Consider the opening of Jesus' story: an angel comes to Mary, and even after greeting her and letting her know that she's highly favored and the Lord is with her, Mary is greatly troubled. Angel Gabriel has to say: "Don't be afraid." 

No wonder! We've made angels into cute little beings, or, like Henry Payne's section of painting* above, of equal stature. Bernini did a better job of capturing the immensity of angels. 

I like what is comfortable and familiar. Prophecies and hopes are exciting as long as I can wrap them up in a box with pretty wrappings and bows. But, when they don't fit inside of my small comfortable expectations, or when I have to wait, confused and unsure, then I need a reminder that the Lord also says to me as He had Gabriel say to Mary: The Lord is with you. Don't be afraid." 

"Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as you have: for He has said, 'I will never leave you, nor forsake you' so that we may boldly say, 'The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do to me'" (Hebrews 13:5,6). 

"The Lord has not given us the spirit of fear, but of strength, and of love, and of a sound mind" (2 Timothy 1:7). 

"Nothing...shall separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:39). 

* "Annunciation" detail from Peace and Goodwill 1921-1922 by Henry Payne, stained and painted glass, leaded in the Birmingham Museums and Art Gallery.

Choosing to be Intentionally Kind

In view of all the bombings last week, I am taken by these sentences by Dallas Willard in his first chapter of The Divine Conspiracy. 

"Yet, in the gloom a light glimmers and glows. We have received an invitation. We are invited to make a pilgrimage -- into the heart and life of God." 

And, I've been thinking of the words that follow up the two sentences up above: "The major problem with the invitation now is precisely overfamiliarity. Familiarity breeds unfamiliarity -- unsuspected familiarity, and then contempt" (11). 

Many of us reading these words "know" about Jesus, hear about Jesus, see the name of Jesus often, especially during the winter season. As Dallas writes, we "think [we] have heard the invitation...accepted it...or rejected it." 

But, truly "the difficulty today is to hear it at all" (ibid). What is meant by these words of Willard's? I looked up "contempt." Many would be aghast to have anyone say that they have "contempt" for Jesus. Some do live by the first definition of the word: "the feeling that a person or thing is beneath consideration, worthless, or deserving scorn" (computer dictionary), but we wouldn't put ourselves in that category.  

If we think that removes us from having contempt, consider the second definition: "disregard for something that should be taken into account." This is where I think those of us most "familiar" with Jesus fall into "contempt." We so think we "know" Jesus that we have disregard for something that should be taken into account, and that something is how Jesus would live our lives if he were us. When we consider His kindness, love, graciousness, intellect, patience, and more, do we really think He would get bent out of shape (for purposes of translation: angry, mean, insulted and insulting) just because the culture around us doesn't say, "Merry Christmas"? 

The meaning of the greeting above comes from a slurring (common with language) of two words: Christ's Mass. But, the meaning of "Happy Holidays" also comes from a slurring of two Christ-centered words: Holy Days. 

Frankly, I can say, "Season's Greetings" and absolutely be following Christ in that moment or I can say, "Merry Christmas" and be far, far away from the heart and life of God. 

Lest, anyone think that I have failed to keep Christ in his proper place of December (January for my Russian friends) by posting about Christmas before we have had Thanksgiving (which is only a November holiday for the U.S.), I am THANKFUL that Jesus cares more about my heart and soul attitude and actions than He does about whether I plaster His name everywhere. You know, if He were me, He might even use the money I typically spend in Christmas cards and specialty coffee drinks and instead practice intentional kindness and helping out those in need.  

Ugh. I Missed a Special Moment

This week I had one of those ironic life moments. I was so busy "enhancing" a picture of God's creation (the photo below) by adding a scripture verse that I missed His handiwork right in my own yard: a deer with a fawn that I saw running off (after I decided a picture of God's creation was beautiful enough without a verse on it)! Many verses could go with this picture, or it could point back to the Creator Himself.

I like beautiful pictures with verses on them, and I don't necessarily think a picture with a verse is what Dallas Willard had in mind when he wrote about "clothing and greeting card graffiti" or "be cute or die" (The Divine Conspiracy 10), but go into a Christian bookstore and verses on anything and everything are certainly commercial products. Those products can be great reminders of God's words to us, but I was so busy trying to do something for God that I missed just being with Him in His creation and seeing His handiwork. And, if I am going to be transparent, maybe my picture idea wasn't cutesy, but I'm just as guilty as the next person at striving for cuteness in my Facebook posts!

I'm thankful for both Dallas's gracious words: "Absurdity and cuteness are fine to chuckle over and perhaps to muse upon" AND his exhortation: "But they are no place to live. They [absurdity and cuteness] provide no shelter or direction for being human" (ibid 11).

"Yet, in the gloom a light glimmers and glows. We have received an invitation. We are invited to make a pilgrimage -- into the heart and life of God" (ibid).

This week I was looking at journal prompts and I chose one where we write about 3 brights. The prompt fits well with Willard's quote above and looking for God in His creation (see also Romans 1:20). I wanted three bright things that anyone anywhere could see God in. The first is water as above. For the second, I chose flowers. Even in the most dismal of places, flowers show up.

Thirdly, I chose a child's face. Many, many years ago, I heard of a Russian scientist who came to believe in God as he looked at his child's ear. The ear is so intricately made as are all the parts of us! The eye amazes me with the number of colors that can be seen. Truly "we are fearfully and wonderfully made."

I don't have to miss work or be lazy in order to slow down long enough to be present to what is in front of my eyes. I can stop filling my calendar so full that there is no time to rest. I can look up, see the deer, see the bright beauty of water, flowers, a child's face -- to see God in His creation and worship Him.

I invite you to join me on this pilgrimage "into the heart and life of God." I'm looking for Him in His creation.

If you're a reader and joining me on this slow reading adventure, I moving on to pages 13-17 of The Divine Conspiracy. 

What's IS That Noise?

What is that racket, that commotion, that noise, I hear?

A) the running commentary and video in my head
B) traffic, Internet video clips, radio, podcasts, phone beeps
C) slogans and messages on billboards, clothing, bumper stickers, and everywhere else
D) All of the above

If you're like me, the answer is 'D' -- all of the above. When I lose my keys, the Internet is down at work, the latest text message carries with it a downturn in a friend or family member's health, and social media is broadcasting the latest in who is angry at whom, I feel like the momma elephant in the children's book Five Minutes Peace by Jill Murphy.

"The children were having breakfast. This was not a pleasant sight."

Murphy has this one right. I'm in the middle of reading a book Behind the Beautiful Forevers by Katherine Boo. It's a non-fiction story about life in a Mumbai undercity. Children are not having breakfast there, but they're not really considered the poor in India which makes me wonder how desperate do you have to be to be poor in India. In the meantime, down the street, folks are upset because a major coffeehouse has changed the design of their cups.

The children of the world are having (or not having) breakfast, and it is not a pleasant sight.

During all this morning hour, as in Murphy's book, everyone is vying for momma's or our attention: Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! Then, Can I? Can I? Can I? And, I'll add during this season: Buy me...Buy me...Buy me...

Dallas Willard writes: "We are immersed in birth-to-death and wall-to-wall 'noise' -- silent and not so silent" (The Divine Conspiracy 9). It's not just the morning hour, 24/7 we are "smothered in slogans" (ibid) and facing our own video thoughts.

All the momma wants in this children's book is five minutes of peace, and along with slowing down, five minutes of silence filled with peace helps me and others bring "truth, goodness, strength, and beauty into our lives" (Willard 10). Five minutes of stillness with God cuts through my first instinct to blame someone for "accidentally" picking up my keys (when I simply put them in a different place), cuts through the panic of how will I get my job done, cuts through the despair, cuts through sheer nonsense. God comes alongside and I stop scapegoating (blaming others), and I gain creativity and hope and wisdom. I can lift up my eyes and see someone else at the breakfast table other than myself. That will be the subject of a different post, but for now, for those who might be scared about 5 minutes with God, I leave you with this: God likes you; He loves you. He's like Mr. Rogers except hundreds upon hundreds times better.

Joining me on this journey of practice? Slowing down and 5 minutes of stillness with God.
Joining me reading? Pages 9 - 13 of The Divine Conspiracy. 

Learning Not to Blame Others -- RIP Rene Girard

Yesterday, my post wished Jeffrey Sachs a "Happy Birthday." Today's post wishes Rene Girard a peaceful rest. 

A college professor (at a state university) first introduced me to the writings of Girard. Although I was a Christ-follower, I didn't realize the lie in my life when it came to blaming others. The truth is this: because of Christ, I no longer need a scapegoat; I no longer need to blame others ("not as though I have attained"). Rene Girard taught me that. 

Girard had academic acclaim but his ideas proved problematic for some of his intellectual colleagues when he put his trust in Jesus Christ. For his critics, "One can only know about such theories and principles, and think about them in more or less clever ways," as Willard writes of "the current world of accepted knowledge" in The Divine Conspiracy (5). In today's culture, one shouldn't tie such theories to moral knowledge or God. 

But, according to those close to Girard, he not only taught what he believed, he lived into it as well. 

"René taught us that to truly live is to stop scapegoating our enemies, and to stop justifying it in the name of God. Once at a conference, René was asked what would happen if mimetic theory became wildly successful. He answered, “There would be no more scapegoating.”

To end scapegoating and to truly live we need to follow Jesus by turning away from violence and turning toward our neighbors, including those we call our enemies, in the spirit of love and nonviolence.

René not only taught us that truth, he lived into it. I met him once at a conference for young Girardian scholars. I was struck by the fact that René wasn’t interested in teaching us, or making sure we had his theory “right.” What he wanted more than anything was to talk with us. He wanted to learn about our lives and what interested us. He had a special humility about him – instead of taking glory for himself, he gave glory to others" (Adam Ericksen).

I don't have that special humility but I am on the slow track of practicing Christ-centered spiritual formation. To do so, this week, I'm practicing slowing down -- slowing down enough to let the Holy Spirit get a word in edge-wise when I'm about to scapegoat someone, to blame others. Join me if you care to do so. 

And, if you're a reader, I'm moving on to pages 3-8 in The Divine Conspiracy. 
If you REALLY like to read, here are some links to recent articles on Rene Girard: 
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/teachingnonviolentatonement/2015/11/in-memory-of-rene-girard-the-truth-about-life-and-death/

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/cosmostheinlost/2015/11/04/lux-aeterna-rene-girard-december-25-1923-nov-4-2015/

http://www.abc.net.au/religion/articles/2015/11/05/4346211.htm

Happy Birthday, Jeffrey Sachs

I changed my mind about what I was going to write this morning when I read that today is Jeffrey Sachs's birthday (11/5/54). You may not know who he is. Don't feel bad; neither did I (and the rest of you can be aghast that we do not know the man considered to be the world's leading expert on economic development and the fight against poverty). 

That's okay. I may not know something that perhaps I should have known, but I'm happy to learn it now. I came across a speech Sachs gave this year at Columbia University (3/30/2015) when I did an Internet search for moral knowledge in U.S. universities. I was sure that Dallas Willard's information in his opening chapter of The Divine Conspiracy must have changed since 1997. After all, Willard cites Derek Bok's 1986-1987 "President's Report" (for Harvard). Bok concludes his report with this remark, "Despite the importance of moral development to the individual student and society, one cannot say that higher education has demonstrated a deep concern for the problem..." (qtd. by Willard 3). 

I know I promised to try to be brief. (I'm working on it.) The title of Sachs's speech was "What is a Moral University in the 21st Century?" and you can probably guess that Willard's information still holds true. Sachs acknowledges early on in his speech, "There are many who, quite understandably, would argue that we shouldn't enter the moral thicket." Many of my friends would look at me wondering why I would be surprised: Of course universities aren't involved with moral education anymore. But, read what Sachs said next: "Let's be pragmatic, they would say." Ohhhhh, there's quite a few of us that tend toward pragmatism. Let's be practical, we say. 

Later Sachs says, "Almost all of us are out of practice in moral reasoning. Moral reasoning...requires training, practice, and experience...We are mostly out of practice..." And, he concludes: "My message, colleagues, is that morality counts. It counts for our intellectual purposes; it counts for our souls." 

I can hear friends now: "Whose morality?" Sachs mentions Buddha, Aristotle and Jesus. I'm going with Jesus. As, I mentioned a couple of days ago, for many that requires "a fresh hearing for Jesus" free of the "stranglehold...that automatically shunts aside Jesus" (Willard, introduction).

I'm reading The Divine Conspiracy Chapter 1, "Entering the Eternal Kind of Life Now" -- sections "Life in the Dark" and "Rumors from the Intellectual Heights" 

I'm practicing slowing my steps down 1) so that I'm not rushing like a rat in a rat race and 2) so I can hopefully notice if I'm responding to moments in my day the way the world responds: practical, on the defense, watching out for myself, or if I'm responding in the love, goodness, and intelligence of Jesus.  

A link to Jeffrey Sachs's speech: http://jeffsachs.org/2015/04/2748/

How Does This Work? Love.

Yesterday's post ended with something for us to consider as we went about our day: Is Jesus relevant to whatever we're doing or going through at the moment we ask the question? Here's one way it worked for me.

On November 1, a major coffeehouse sent me an email letting me know that my favorite time-of-the-year coffee would be available as a free sample on November 2 between the hours of x and y. (All my math friends, I really think you should give me a high-five for whatever it was that I just did there.) However, when I went to my local coffeehouse on November 2, there were no samples. Not a single one. I was tempted to tweet, post, and message my displeasure, but I remembered that I was asking myself if Jesus was relevant to my real life.

In my head I'm playing a running commentary with video: "Oh, boohoo, you didn't get your free coffee sample. How first-world 'poor me' problem is that?" If you thought that along with me, you're right. So before I come back to Jesus and coffee, let me make a few comments about this journey.

1) I presume that you are part of the 40% of the world with Internet connections. That doesn't necessarily mean that you are wealthy as I have met people who due to devastating circumstances are in homeless shelters, and they made sure to keep their computers so that they could find jobs (or have access to their jobs). But, it does mean you are not part of the 60% without, and my examples will probably be familiar to you.

2) In college I read these words in "The Unknown Masterpiece" by Honore de Balzac: "...Gillette, who almost forgave him for sacrificing her to the art of painting..." (italics mine), and I decided I wouldn't sacrifice relationships for the sake of writing. When appropriate, I will share deeper than petty annoyances, but, in reality, it's the day-to-day responses to petty annoyances that build up how we respond when life's tragedies hit us. (More on this in another post.)

Therefore, when I thought about "how to do what he [Jesus] said was best" (Willard, Divine Conspiracy), Jesus said love was best.

"Jesus said unto him [the lawyer who had asked about the greatest commandment in the law], "Thou shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your should, and with all your mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets" (Matthew 22:37-40, underlining mine).

If you're reading: We're still reading the introduction to The Divine Conspiracy.
If you're practicing: We're still exploring -- what does Jesus have to do with this moment? 

What's Jesus Got to Do with It?

"My hope is to gain a fresh hearing for Jesus, especially among those who believe they already understand him" -- so begins Dallas Willard in his introduction to his book The Divine Conspiracy. Even Dallas laughed when people kidded him about the book being the most bought unread book on Christian bookshelves. I happen to like the book, but I'm not going to try to talk you into a "fresh hearing" for DC by DW, "especially among those who believe they" can't possibly understand him (to borrow a few of Dallas's words). The book happened to be the first one assigned during a two-year Christ-centered spiritual formation program. I'm a reader and even for me the two years was packed solid and fast track. I want to go back, slow down, and invite those interested to take the journey with me.

"Very few people today find Jesus interesting as a person or of vital relevance to their actual lives...And frankly, he is not taken to be a person of much ability" (DW introduction).

"He is automatically seen as a more or less magical figure -- a pawn, or possibly a knight or a bishop, in some religious game -- who fits only within the categories of dogma and of law. Dogma is what you have to believe, whether you believe it or not. And law is what you must do, whether it is good for you or not. What we have to believe or do now, by contrast, is real life, bursting with interesting, frightening and relevant things and people" (ibid).

"Now, in fact, Jesus and his words have never belonged to the categories of dogma or law, and to read them as if they did is simply to miss them" (ibid).

So, basically, most of us don't think Jesus has anything to do with every day -- REAL -- life. But, what if he does? What if he's actually brilliant, and here, and loves us?

* If you ARE a reader and want to SLOWLY read along the way: Start with the introduction to The Divine Conspiracy by Dallas Willard.

Not a reader? Not a problem. Readers are NOT holier than thou (even though some may think they are...oops, well, I did say I was on the slow track to spiritual formation).

* Something to practice: As we go about our "interesting," "frightening," and "real" life, be open to the possibility that Jesus might actually be relevant to us in that moment.  

I Begin Yet Again for the 3rd? 4th? Time

I've used this title before "I Begin Again." It's an appropriate title for continuing to write after close to two years of silence. It's also an appropriate title for explaining the work of Christ-centered spiritual formation. Each morning (not just for the third or fourth time, but again and again and again), I begin again.

And, God meets me, right where I am. Today, as I was struggling to begin again, forgetting much of what I had learned about how to set up a blog and working with a computer that needs to be updated fully, I had given up being able to find and upload an image of "His mercies are new every morning." I had decided to skip the image (and leave off writing) but to check out the blogs I recommend on my page. There on Learning Along the Way Coaching's post from yesterday -- "Finish Well"-- was this image. God used Lisa Lewis's finishing well on her 31 days of blogging to encourage me as I strive to begin yet again.

You might have had a bad day yesterday, this past week...month...year...you might be in the midst of a struggle this minute. Begin again...and again...and again. As I begin writing again, I hope to explore what Christ-centered spiritual formation looks like -- on the slow track. And, I hope to keep it short (yes, I know, you'll believe it when you see it).

Zuppa Tuscana and Play Time Make For a Good Day!

This is my "Plans Went Awry" Font. You probably didn't realize I change fonts for each of the days: Times for Contemplation; Verdana for Wholeness, etc. I'm using Trebuchet for when my plans for the day don't work out. I confess that I can't really tell the difference between Verdana and Trebuchet except that Trebuchet seems a little smaller. On the other hand, I can tell the difference between a day filled with stress and a day when I am flexible. 

I started on Part II of Conquering Anger early this morning, but I didn't finish it. I thought I would continue writing later in the day. In the past, I would have pushed on through getting angry at anyone who or anything that blocked my path. For what purpose? What was the use of accomplishing something if no one wanted to share in the joy of the accomplishment? 

Instead, today, I went to my tutoring job, came back up the hill to pick up my granddaughter, played her invented game, and made Zuppa Tuscana. Voila! I'll write on #13 off of the 365 Writing Prompts: What did I eat for dinner? I'm not sure why the list writer figured someone's dinner would be universally interesting; however, I will tell anyone who has read this far that my husband and I ate leftovers on Monday. He ate a leftover hamburger and I ate a baked bean sandwich (using gluten-free bread, of course). You may never have heard of baked bean sandwiches; they might be a mid-west American food as I learned how to make it from my family. Leftovers gone, I made this soup today. 

  
Food photography is not my gift -- the soup even steamed up the camera lens -- but this is a very yummy soup so I'm including my friend Rebecca's recipe here. 

ZUPPA TUSCANA 
1 pound Italian sausage, cooked in the oven
3/4 cup chopped onion 
3 Tablespoons butter 
4 cloves garlic (I used the frozen squares of garlic and they worked fine)
1 cube chicken boullion
4 cups water 
2 thinly sliced potatoes 
2 cups kale, washed, dried, and diced 
1/3 cup whipping cream 
Saute onions in butter for 10 minutes. Add garlic and sauté for 1 minute. Add water, bouillon and potatoes. Simmer for 15 minutes. Add kale, cream and sausage. Simmer for 5 minutes. Serves 6. (That's what the recipe says, but I had the amount in the bowl shown up above, my husband had two bowls full, and I don't think there were three bowls worth leftover.)

And, I think I will write one last word about overcoming anger: play. I love playing my granddaughter's game because we play it just to laugh and build a relationship that will last long after the game ends, and leave good memories beyond my lifetime. Overcoming anger starts with little steps like learning how to laugh and have joy in one's life. 

Not a picture of my granddaughter and me (no one around to take a picture of us :D), but one from a missions trip. Our joy and laughter at home is just as important as the joy and laughter we share away from home. 

Conquering Anger -- Part I

This angry face image came from a man blogging about his anger at the Twins (baseball team). That kind of anger baffles me. I suppose if he has money he has gambled on the game and they are losing, then that means he is losing as well. It seems like strange behavior to me since his anger can not change the outcome of the game. However, I have been angry. Many times in my life. Yet, when I read on my 365 Writing Prompts list (found not on my List Board as previously blogged; it's on my 2014? Board), the day twelve prompt was "What is making you mad?" and nothing was making mad. In fact, I was having a difficult time remembering the last time I was angry. I am sure my children or husband could tell me in an instant, but I am no longer in the habit of being mad. So, "Conquering Anger" is what I contemplated this past Sunday.

I was interrupted after writing that last sentence (interruptions in the past would have made me angry), and in the intervening time, I realized how long a post this could become! Therefore, I am just going to tackle the first situation that came to mind when I think of my anger: Exhaustion.

Exhaustion, fatigue, tiredness. As a young mom with four children, I encountered fatigue often. I was not in the best of conditions to be kind, loving, or gentle. Sad to say, I made the situation worse by adding more activities to my life at a time when I could have been trying to get some rest. Wait! Don't get mad at me if you are a stay-at-home mom! I'm just telling my story here of one of the factors that made it easy for me to embrace anger.

Even when the children were in school, and I was working outside of the home, I added too many activities. Staying busy with activities happens to be a part of my cultural upbringing. That may not be the case for all readers, but where I live, people value one another by what they accomplish.

I have learned that I have value irregardless of what I accomplish. Those of you who have read some of my previous posts know that I am currently reading a book titled The Swerve. If you believe that you are nothing but atoms, I guess it makes sense that you should live for nothing but pleasure and avoidance of pain. I just haven't quite figured out how everyone can do that all at the same time. I'm thinking as I write here (I imagine you can tell that), and accomplishing something can give a person pleasure, but again, don't we get back to this idea that one is valued because of accomplishments? Also, what do we do when what we want to accomplish conflicts with another's person's desire for accomplishment? Much of the time, we get angry.

Being angry may give temporary pleasure and get a person what he wants, but then the person or people on the receiving end experience pain. I get the impression that people are just supposed to choose to all work together so that everyone will experience pleasure at the same time. Yeah. It doesn't seem to be working.

To be blunt, it takes more faith for me to believe in the "Swerve" than it does for me to believe in a good, loving, Triune God who says I have value, not because of what I do, but because I am uniquely created. He loves for me to be the ultimate me as He created me to be. (Okay, way too much rhyming there.) He doesn't want a cookie cutter person. He doesn't want me to have to do every activity that comes my way just so I can show society that I am a person of value. And, I certainly don't have to be doing anything to earn His love.

He knows my body needs rest to be the best me, and to be the kind of person that simply does not feel driven to anger, wrath, malice, or temper tantrums.

I know there are all kinds of situations that involve times when rest is out of reach such as for the student pictured below (and here is the link to go to some sort of event planning blog that suggests eleven ways to get a good night's sleep -- you might not be able to buy a new bed #11, but the rest are do-able). But, look how long this post is already. Feel free to comment. I'll title this Part I and see where it goes from here.

What to Post When You are Supposed to be Writing Assigned Papers

Don't laugh when you read that I pin (to my board on the Pinterest site). Remember, I am the one with paper piles from which no paper can ever be found. 

This is not a Google stock image. I have a personal relationship with this mess. There are no messes on Pinterest, a site which provides me with virtual file cabinets. I needed a list yesterday and, within two minutes, I found it on my Pinterest List Board. On that board was a list with 365 days of writing prompts. For your perusal are days one through eleven. You will have to either read to the end (or scroll down) to see why I am doing this. 

#1 -- My number one goal this year is to be more like Jesus than last year. 

#2 -- I am most grateful for Jesus in my life; if you want to read something other than Jesus as the answer, then it would be my family. See the third picture below.

#3 -- Yes, I am content…and no, I am not content. If content means to never change for the better, then no, I am not content. If by content, one means do I feel the need to strive for more possessions in my life, then I am happy to tell you that I am content with what I have. 

#4 -- Best memory of last year? Ahhh, now I get to post pictures. Last year had many sad memories, but mixed with the sadness were some great times. I will stick with just three. 

This picture does not do justice to the simple beauty of  our Christmas tree this year. I loved how unrushed and unhurried our Christmas was this year. 

I am learning with this great group of people. In October, we spent a week together and three more times over the course of two years, we will get together (in London, no less). 

I can't seem to control where my pictures end up: this gathering of my family happened in July. What a joy to gather all but six of us together in one place. Family gatherings count at the top of my memory list: Thanksgiving with youngest daughter in Redding; Yosemite with her and my youngest son's family; Sunday dinners. 

#5 -- Last major accomplishment -- figuring out how to get out of the caption mode to be able to continue writing. Seriously, any time I get out of a technological glitch counts as an accomplishment, or a miracle. Writing each day for forty-nine days, missing only two days, counts as an accomplishment. Staying married for forty years as of last April 15th definitely counts as an accomplishment, or a miracle. 

#6 -- What possession could I not live without? I could live without all my possessions -- see #3. Well, yes, clothing does count as a possession, and that is the one I need. I do like to be clothed. 

#7 -- Can people change? Yes. 

#8 -- Last "good" thing I ate -- define "good." If we are discussing "good for my health," then I guess it would be some buckwheat pilaf. If we mean "good, yummy," I ate a tasty piece of halibut with risotto (which I think also counts as healthy). 

#9 -- Current favorite snack -- carrot sticks (no, not because of any resolutions) 

#10 -- What made me smile on day ten -- my granddaughter K. On day nine, it was granddaughter S. :D 

#11 -- My favorite accessory? Lol! I am not against accessories; I just don't have time for them. My favorite accessory is probably this hat. 

This photo courtesy of my talented niece-in-law Brianne MacRunnel, owner of Brianne Janae Photography. I wear this hat (which no longer is anywhere close to being in this good of shape) to keep the dirt and weeds from getting all over me when I throw the ball for my dog. 

If you lasted this long, you may be wondering why this different type of posting. I had plans to practice the Word-centered life on Friday and write about it today. I did spend time in the Word (Matthew 13:18-23 The Parable of the Sower Explained to be exact), and I am creative enough that I could have turned that into a post; however, most of my day was spent with "words" -- lower case 'w' -- or in avoiding them. 

Here is an opportunity for my former students to gloat. It is easier to assign papers than it is to write papers, and I have two six-to-nine page papers due by the end of the month. I think I've written before about my relationship with cleaning and organizing. Yesterday, I found out that I can get so much cleaning and organizing done when I am supposed to be writing papers! I did manage to stay off of Facebook…but took that little detour over to Pinterest. Therefore, just so my students can enjoy watching me squirm as I live in their world of papers, assignments, and due dates, I wrote this post; now I am going to go tackle those papers.