Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Hour 3 of my requisite 10,000 hours to master the art of writing, and day ? in my learning to follow after Christ in everything 24/7 as saints of old have tried. Frank Laubach called this his "experiment of filling every minute full of the thought of God." People told Laubach it was impossible to even line up one's actions with the will of God every fifteen minutes or a half hour. Laubach questioned whether anyone was even trying.

I question how many of us who claim to know Christ even see His providential ways once a day! Ask a fellow brother or sister in Christ where they saw Christ today, and they're likely to hem and haw. Certainly I did before I was blessed enough to hear Bill Butterworth discuss how he and his wife teach their children to look for God each day: How did God save them from harm? How did God show them something beautiful in His creation? How did God keep them from sin? How did God forgive them of sin that day? How did God bless them that day? How did God lead them in a certain action or word to speak?

Sorrowfully, I have to admit to not operating that way day to day--still so full of "my rights" as I was, I would get too caught up in my plans or raising children that day that I didn't slow down long enough to think clearly. Still, the teaching was with me, and God broke through slowly until it was a habit of mine to look for God at work that day. God providentially brought other words into my life that solidified this desire. Henry Blackaby's Experiencing God Bible study; a pastor wondering why we refer to some action in the past when speaking of the power of God when we ought to have something daily.

Because I looked for God daily, I thought I was doing fairly well. At least better than those around me. Ah,pride and haughty attitudes...truly they go before destruction, or at the very least, a fall.

It makes sense to me to be transformed by Christ 24/7 even if I don't always succeed. I'm always talking in my head -- I talk to myself; I plan what I shall say to this person or that person; I plan what I will write here or there; I endlessly go over what I should have said or done. I would be so much better off talking to Jesus and asking Him to work through me as I...well, type this blog, drive down the street, pull books off the shelves for patrons who have placed holds on their books.

I did that yesterday (and the time before). I asked God to be in my finding library books that get sent out to patrons throughout my county and the next. I pray for the patrons. I particularly pray when I have to pull and send out the assisted suicide book. I pray for the folks who will be checking out books. I would love to know that someone somewhere is praying for my family as people who will be checking a book out, or a customer buying a product, or someone who will walk down the hallway of a particular establishment.

I think I find books faster when I ask God to be doing it through me, but, really I don't think I can prove that scientifically. I suppose I could set up a time when I didn't and a time when I did -- control groups, control situations, etc. But, what about when I fail to keep God at the center of the activity? Or, what if God intends for me to see a certain book and stop to explore what is inside. I think asking God to be in my eyes and hands cause me to be more in the present which in turn causes me to find the books faster. However, the non-believer could easily say the action of simply being more in the present causes the efficiency.

As I am writing this the following day, only three situations from yesterday stand out in my mind: the one up above, a time of exploration of whether there were areas I was having difficulty surrendering to God, and an occasion to be in the company of my former community.

As to surrendering, I wrote: I find difficult to give up -- for lack of a better name -- discretionary time. Obedience! I don't sit down and do my Russian studies because I think I am in charge of my time! Oh dear! my actions indicate I still want to be in charge of my time. Thankfully, even as I confessed this missing of the mark, my psalm reading allowed me to confess what God is doing and will do in my life:

Psalm 143:8+
Let me experience Your faithful love in the morning for I trust in You. Reveal to me the way I should go, because I long for You. Rescue me from my enemies, Lord; I come to You for protection. Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God. May Your gracious Spirit lead me on level ground.
Selah!!

Also, while I was at the library, God gave me not only an opportunity for obedience but to experience and put into practice what I have been saying to others: "How is God directing you? Where are you seeing God's direction?" I have been offered an opportunity to tutor a student, but it would mean that I would not explore offering a Bible study. I am walking in the shoes of my friends because I was not immediately sure of the direction.

I went back to my morning scriptures and saw the studies from Proverbs about ants, hydraxes, locusts, and lizards -- think ahead for strength for the future, build up for the storms, live in community, live the kingdom life. Most of that could apply to the individual tutoring, but I could also see the Bible Study. I know from the psalms God will lead me. I know what my husband would say, and certainly that is direction. I kept seeking God's voice. Finally, I feel God led me to look at how He has led me in the past as I asked Him to glorify Himself and lead me away from paths of temptation. I will explore this new opportunity trusting that God will close doors that lead away from Him.

Lastly, as I drove to a fun event, I asked God to allow me to see Him in each person I would run into. I trusted that the situation would not be awkward if my focus was in meeting the needs of the others. I don't think I managed to totally look with the eyes of Jesus, but I did not experience the awkwardness of the past, and I enjoyed myself. God led me to invite someone who was very blessed to be a part of this event, so that in turn blessed me!

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